We Will Fix You

Our questioner starts hobbies but never commits to them, leaving them unsatisfied with their efforts. A shame, but is it one our fixers can help address? I’d be very surprised if it wasn’t.

It’s the festive season, and some people just won’t play along. This week’s questioner wants their deskmate to enjoy the festive season so they can really ramp up the non-stop festivity this season requires. What to do? I can think of no better people to bring Christmas cheer than us.

This weeks’s questioner likes to Make Things, and despite the enjoyment they derive from this, their swearing and behaviour while doing so resembles that of a particularly sexually-aggressive chimpanzee. What, then, to do? Why, dear listener, to fix it.

Featuring a special guest: a very loud laptop fan!

We’ve all watched enough holiday specials to know that you can make your own traditions, that family is where you find it, and not to touch any creek bodies you find - no matter how tempting - lest you get framed for an escalating series of brutal murders. This week’s questioner struggles with that first thing - specifically how to carry on a Christmas tradition without one of its participants.

A very important question this week - when work is getting to you from every direction, how do you find the time and energy to extricate yourself from a bad situation. We’re here to help, and so is Fixbot 3000 - the world’s first automated fixing machine!

A matter of fidelity this week, as our questioner would prefer some more of that sort of thing from their partner. Will we fix it? Very much depends on what you’re willing to accept as an answer.

A superabundance of willing twinkflesh brings with it a hefty helping of people who are in need of fixing and so they turn, not to us, but to this week’s questioner, who would like to return to a rigorous schedule of nobbing without all the troublesome feelings. We’re here to help. It’s what we do.

A traumatic childhood can all-too-easily be transmitted down the generations, but that's not the case with this week's questioner. Rather, they want to know how to praise their partner for raising their children with kindness, but without being a dick about it. We, sensitive as ever, spring into action.

Another bumper week, as four fixers get to the messy (ho ho!) task of reputation management. Our listener has a reputation they would rather shed like so many discarded pizza boxes and browning apple cores. Can we fix that? Almost certainly.