We Will Fix You

We live in a golden age of TV, they say, their eyes glassy and peculiar, the faint buzzing of distant wasps carried on their flat, reedy voices. But it's true! Today's questioner struggles to fit all of these wonderful shows into their free time. Something has to give. But what? We will fix it.

Our questioner has a problem - a beloved friend is hard to eat with, given some open-mouthed flapping and noises not conducive to digestion. What, they ask, is to be done? We will, of course, fix this.

Our questioner struggles with the idea that they're giving bad gifts. What can we do to assuage this, make sure the gifts they're giving are good ones, or just convince them not to care? Three very different solutions in this faintly-festive episode.

Our questioner has had a tough time in employment, with bullying and redundancy, and now struggles to overcome the trauma of this and look for a new job. Can we help? Sort of. Fewer gags than usual. We even edited out one about a greasy horse, it was tonally "off". But we'll whisper it to you if you ask politely.

Our questioner wants a nice garden without all that pesky maintenance, with having to know and care about plants, cutting things, digging things, and the horrifying reminder of the terrifying entropy nipping at all of our heels that comes with it. What to do? We know!

Our questioner is navigating the choppy waters of sudden cohabitation, in particular, the treacherous eddies around the Strait of Flatulence and the fearsome squall of Depilation Bay. How do you manage expectations, mystique, and living together? Should you at all?

Our questioner has been betrayed by their own mind and is now a prisoner to a swirling vortex of goth-pop inanity. Can we free them from this gulag of sound and ungodly image? Yes.

Our questioner is an creative type, and loses all interest in the act of creation as soon as the deed is done. They need our help to stop their creations from sitting, unloved and alone, on the shelves. They are asking us, dear listener, us, how to do a marketing.

Here's that "comic" that Roger mentions on the show, which is in fact not a comic, but is still a good article on business models and going to market for creatives:

You need a business model to make it as an artist, Jessica Abel

Make It Then Tell Everybody is Dan Berry's podcast on audience-building and marketing for comics and other creative work.

The Business Model Canvas is a handy thinking tool to get you going. See also: the value propositions one from the same folks.

Those ruddy-faced sprogs next door won't stop punting balls over your fence, violating the most basic tenets of communal living. But not to worry, we have some fixings that will sort that right out with a minimum of sharpened stick pits dug into your lawn.

This week's questioner has that age-old dilemma - how to take a friendship and heave it over the line like a sack of metaphorical relationship potatoes into a relationship where there may or may not be potatoes. Complicating things: nerves, the internet, us.

We will fix it though, you can be damn sure of that.