Every morning you are instantly and perfectly dresses automatically OR you are always perfectly clean

You get 3, twenty-minute nosebleeds randomly each week OR all dogs except your own bark at you incessantly whenever you are in their vicinity.

Every time you hear music you must comment how some aspect is off key because "I have perfect pitch" OR you must immediately correct every incorrect usage of who/whom (even in written form)

Once a week you have to work from a bath tub OR you must lie completely still when falling asleep

You can only shake hands with your left hand (and can't make up any excuse why) OR unlock your phone by saying "I'm a fart monster"

Would you rather sleep in a hammock at the top of a tree or always ride bound and gagged in the trunk of a car?