More layers of guitars. Wrote in 6/8 for a change.

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made with my selfmade program for playdate (introduced here: https://weeklybeats.com/bufaw/music/paralysed  and example videos how I made the song in week 16: https://youtu.be/7UwAGvMbD1g https://youtu.be/ZoSO6G0w67s https://youtu.be/7UwAGvMbD1g )

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I've been extremely busy this past week, so I only started this song when my buddy Trevor came over this afternoon.

He played his Sonicware Liven XFM throughout the song while I played my new custom patch that I've been creating for a live show on my MicroKORG. I ran my keyboard through a looper pedal, reverb pedal, my new compressor pedal, and then into my donner Harmonic Square pedal that was set to play a second version of my music an octave lower.

I played a little ditty for about 50 seconds or so into the looper pedal and looped it so I could mess around with the settings on the pedals live, and then after a second loop I paused the playback and brought in my Stylophone CPM-DS2. I took each oscillator output and put them on opposing sides of a stereo input on my mixer, and set their LFO depth to be diametrically opposed. This bypasses the feedback and reverb sections of the unit, so we added them in in post.

To end the song I played the loop one last time while fading out the DS2 oscillators, and then Trevor played us out on his keyboard. Thank you for your beautiful work Trevor!

For the video, Trevor told me there was a really cool mound of dirt out at Mesa Del Sol outside of town. I think it's for construction or something, and it probably won't be there long, so we hurried out there to try to get some cool shots before the sun went down. I grabbed some random costume supplies from my basement, including a Chucky wig, long-nosed face mask, hat that my buddy Quinn gave me after the top came off, and some other stuff that I ended up not wearing. Daylight was going fast, so Trevor shot everything at 120 FPS on his GH7 camera so we could extend the shots out as necessary.

Initially we just got a few shots of me walking up the hill and dancing around and then running down it, but we kept coming up with additional shots to get and we found this cool bead thing that someone had left at the top of the hill.

In the editing room, we found this really cool abstract story we could tell with the shots we had. I'm stoked about how my cape billows in the wind gusts throughout the shoot. And Trevor sure can point a camera I tell you what!

We then did some basic color correction, with a lot of temperature adjustments in Lumetri Color because the sun started going down and half the shots that ended up in the middle of the video were actually shot at the end of the day, and they were super blue. I then added a little color curve silliness after Trevor went home because it's after 11:00 and he needs his beauty sleep. I think it makes the imagery feel a kiss more magical but I guess it's up to you to decide.

https://youtu.be/VykYTLP96iI

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A generative patch this week featuring chaotic random voltage driving quantizers, and generative faders.

Voices:

- Plaits

- ALM MCO mk2

- Rings

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Writers block

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I am in a hurry.

I am running late.

I fire up the first synthesizer I ever bought, who has been sitting on a shelf for quite some time.

Hello old friend.

It's nice to hear your voice again.

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Aims for this week

Things I tried to differently to what I usually get up to:

Fast tempoHard beatsMinimise melody or harmony

Read more

Process notes on my blog as usual.

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I just did some light editing to a song I worked on a little while ago :) I really enjoy the vibe of the song, the lyrics, and the synth patch with the gliding melody thats right panned.

At the time (and now tbh) the process of grieving who I could have been had I had the space to be me was pretty all consuming and a nearly a daily ritual: reflect on some awful moment in the past and how it changed who I thought I could be in order to be loved, get upset, dissociate, sleep, wake up and hope things are better. I’m happy to say that now Ive processed a lot, and while being in a relationship with someone who loves me deeply for who I am, these types of days I’m describing are few and far between. Shadow work feels like gorging on the big feast of the memories you would rather forget. There comes a point when it’s the only thing you can eat and youll get bloated and nauseous but it isn’t an all you can eat buffet. There is another side. And I hate to say it but I’m stronger for it. Not in a buff, tough, or less sensitive way. But consistently seeing trauma and heartbreak for what it is and naming it does two things. It clears up uncertainty which takes up a lot of emotional bandwidth, and it works those emotional “muscles” so that they can weather other storms.

All in all this song is about greiving who you could have been and realizing that alcohol and other numbing means won’t ever give you back what you lost. It’s a really sad sort of acceptance. Decay and be patient means letting everything you thought you knew about yourself unravel and realign.

Has there been in a time in your life where you had to process old traumas, and if so what is something you would tell someone going through it to show that it was worth it?

› lyrics‹ lyrics In the fog of my mind

comes the outtakes of my pretty little life

Left alone

Out to dry

Pull apart like bread and lead me inside

Where it’s warm

Where I care

Where you hold me with a stare

Though I’ll try to hold on

We both know what we’ve been running from

Running from

Running from

We both know what we’ve been running from

My body is weightless like a seance in stasis

Please step back while I’m clawing my insides

Don’t worry let’s face it this party is wasted

The cheap drinks won’t buy me back my time

And our faces are changing

Decay and be patient

I hope that I am still left untied

Though I’ll try to hold on

We both know what we’ve been running from

Running from

Running from

We both know what we’ve been running from

My body is weightless like a seance in stasis

Please step back while I’m clawing my insides

Don’t worry let’s face it this party is wasted

The cheap drinks won’t buy me back my time

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This started from some piano noodling (which mostly turned into the lead melody). In my head it is Phrygian ♮3 ♮7, but nobody seems to call it that. It's not microtonal per se, but it really came alive for me when I tuned the (♭)2 up a hair.

All instruments here are the M8's FM synth. I love making sounds with that thing.

I also went nuts and made a little video and posted the bundle for anyone who is interested in the gory details..

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This is something quite different from what I've done so far, while also somewhat of a continuation of things I've tried the past weeks.

I've been fascinated with live coding ever since I've seen someone submit a video about it during the Dirtywave M8 Jungle community compo. I've played around with Strudel a bit, but switched to Tidal Cycles at some point. I prefer Tidal Cycles because it uses SuperCollider as its sound engine, which is very powerful. Also, I found it easier to use midi with Tidal Cycles and SuperCollider. I've played with Tidal Cycles during the Christmas Holidays, but created nothing substantial (also got lost in exploring SuperCollider at some point :)).

The idea to do something with live coding for Weekly Beats crossed my mind a couple of times this year, but the urge became stronger recently. One reason for this is that I wanted to do more with the shitload of nice VST plugins that I've collected over the year. For example, I have a license to u-he's Zebra 3, which released last Monday. I also have almost all other u-he's plugins and they're all great. I just never feel inspired when using the 'classic' DAW. I am exploring Renoise because I like the tracker interface, but I think I need some time before it really clicks with me. Tidal Cycles hooked up with some virtual midi channels works best for me so far.

Another thing that inspired me to pick up Tidal Cycles again is listening to Caterina Barbieri's work over the past weeks (ever since I saw her perform). Her music is all about playing with (often repetitive) patterns. Tidal Cycles is also very pattern-oriented, so it seemed like a good way to explore this approach to making music more.

Anyway, that's what I ended up doing. I'm not brilliant with Tidal Cycles yet, but I've learned a few useful tricks already. I set up a project that sends midi from Tidal Cycles to Ableton Live, where I have Zebra 3, Diva, Arturia's LoFi, The Legend HZ, and a sampler with a breakbeat as instruments. I of course also set up a bunch of FX: Reverbs, u-he's excellent MFM, and some others. I created a bunch of patterns in Tidal Cycles over the past couple of days that I liked.

So eventually, I decided to hook up a Launch Kontrol XL that I still have lying around and to record a kind of live jam with this setup. I didn't want to redo this over and over, so aimed at doing one take. I did end up having to redo it once, because I accidentally silenced all patterns in Tidal Cycles at some point (I still confuse some of the shortcuts :)).

The result is rough around the edges, but I think it is a pretty cool start. At least I had a lot of fun making this. Looking forward to learning more about live coding.

Just a heads up: it starts slow and at low volume. Don't crank up the volume too quickly.

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