Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s sixty-fourth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we are learning about Kadabra: the Psi Pokémon and evolved form of Abra. Ever seen a Kadabra and had your head start hurting? Well, that's because this psychic type Pokémon emits headache-inducing alpha waves. These same waves also cause machinery to go crazy. Is your clock spinning out of control? That's a Kadabra... or a broken clock. Is the toaster catching fire? Probably a Kadabra... or you overcooked your toast. Either way, Kadabra make for absolutely terrible IT support. Kadabra is also rumored to have originally formed from a "transformed child with psychic abilities." Frankly, that's just asinine - probably the most outlandish Pokédex entry we've seen yet. And it's grounded in no scientific research at all. Who allowed this nonsense to be documented!? But there are more actual facts to learn about Kadabra, so take detailed notes!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s sixty-third lesson on Pokémon biology. The class today is all about Abra: the Psi Pokémon. This psychic Pokémon is usually seen with its eyes closed because it sleeps approximately 18 hours a day. If it doesn't sleep that much, Abra will temporarily lose its telekinetic abilities. Speaking of telekinesis, Abra has the ability to read minds! If it senses danger, Abra will immediately teleport to safety. So if you're hoping to catch an Abra in the wild, good luck! You either have to meditate and practice clearing your mind... OR just being stupid really helps. As long as there's not a whole lot of activity in that noggin, you should have a better chance at catching Abra. There's much more to learn about this awesome Pokémon, so take plenty of notes!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s sixty-second lesson on Pokémon biology. In today's class, we will be discussing Poliwrath: the Tadpole Pokémon (again) and final evolved form of Poliwag. While it resembles Poliwhirl in many ways, this water/fighting type Pokémon is incredibly strong - capable of punching boulders to dust. It's almost entirely made of muscle, and it rarely gets tired, which makes Poliwrath an incredible endurance swimmer. Poliwrath also possesses the ability to... apparently run on water? What? Have we fact checked this claim? Because I have no idea. I just get paid to write these descriptions. Kidding... I don't get paid. There's much more to learn about Poliwrath, so please pay attention and take detailed notes!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s sixty-first lesson on Pokémon biology. In the lesson today, we will be discussing Poliwhirl: the Tadpole Pokémon and evolved form of Poliwag. Poliwhirl prefers to stay in the water like its predecessor, but it also goes on dry land to feed on bug Pokémon. When it does leave the water, Poliwhirl sweats to keep itself moist, which also makes it slimy enough to slip away from potential enemies. Like Poliwag, Poliwhirl also has a black and white swirl on its abdomen, which is believed to be its organs visible through the skin. If you stare at this swirl long enough, it will start undulating and cause severe drowsiness. This Pokémon is perfect for parents out there with restless or difficult children. Is little Timmy having a nightmare? Plop a Poliwhirl in front of him. Is tiny Suzie being an insufferable brat again? Find a Poliwhirl immediately. There's more to learn, students, so please take detailed notes!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s sixtieth lesson on Pokémon biology. In class today, we will be discussing Poliwag: the Tadpole Pokémon. You might notice that this water-dwelling cutie has a black and white swirl on its abdomen. This is Poliwag's internal organs, which are visible through the skin. While this skin might be nearly transparent, it's actually surprisingly resilient and flexible, making it difficult to puncture. You can stab a Poliwag with a lot of pointy stuff, but that clear, abdominal skin will be just fine. Fair warning: this is by no means an open invitation to shank random Poliwags with sharp objects. Please don't do that. Also, Poliwag kinda sucks... with its big lips to attach itself to rocks in the water. How fun! There's more to learn about Poliwag, so be sure to pay attention and take notes!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fifty-ninth lesson on Pokémon biology. For today’s lesson, we will be discussing Arcanine: the Legendary Pokémon and evolved form of Growlithe. Arcanine is NOT to be confused as a legendary Pokémon, such as Articuno, Groudon, Mew, etc - it is named THE Legendary Pokémon because of the many Chinese legends told about it over the years. Growlithe evolves into Arcanine via Fire Stone, so it is very rare to find an Arcanine in the wild! Also, it has been reported that anyone who hears Arcanine’s mighty bark will grovel before it. But the grovelling is in a loving and reverent manner… it’s not the “begging for your life” type of grovelling. There’s more to learn about Arcanine, so please remember to take notes, students!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fifty-eighth lesson on Pokémon biology. In the class today, we will be talking about Growlithe: the Puppy Pokémon. This friendly, fire type Pokémon has lived side by side with humans for hundreds of years. The first written records of humans and Growlithes cohabitating date back to the Stone Age - more specifically in the Sinnoh region, which was recently discovered to have been called the Hisui region at the time. Unlike its domesticated Kantonian variant, the Hisuian Growlithe was a rock/fire type that took more time to bond with humans. Since then, they have forged an incredible friendship. In fact, Growlithe makes an excellent starter Pokémon for new trainers... like our very own in-person student, Corbin! Seriously, this kid has been begging the Professor for his first Pokémon for a year now. Someone give him a Growlithe to shut him up. And yes, he did pay me to write this. Also, there's another pop quiz today!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fifty-seventh lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we will be discussing Primeape: the Pig Monkey Pokémon and evolved form of Mankey. If you thought Mankey was aggressive, think again! Primeape is a bigger, veiny, angrier, tailless version of Mankey. These things are dangerous. If you even so much as look at Primeape a little funny, start praying... because it's coming. With its heightened strength and lust for blood, Primeape will stop at nothing until its target has been neutralized. Only truly experienced (or stupid) trainers are willing to train this Pokémon. Be sure to take plenty of notes because there will be a quiz today on this bloodthirsty creature!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fifty-sixth lesson on Pokémon biology. And today's lesson is all about Mankey: the Pig Monkey Pokémon. Watch out because this little thing is the definition of a wild child. Although it's one of the smallest known fighting type Pokémon, Mankey is highly aggressive and will rampage for little to no reason. These little devils will eventually wear themselves out after one of their meltdowns and fall asleep. But the rage doesn't stop there! Mankey also has angry dreams, which causes it to wake up in a rage and start the cycle all over again. It literally doesn't chill... ever. But according to various studies, this angry lifestyle causes Mankey to have a longer lifespan. Make it make sense. Also, take notes because there is a quiz on this feisty fella!

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Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fifty-fifth lesson on Pokémon biology. In today's class, we will be discussing Golduck, the other Duck Pokémon and evolved form of Psyduck. This blue, streamlined-body, water type Pokémon is an incredibly fast swimmer - some Pokédex entries claim it's even the FASTEST swimmer among all Pokémon. It has webbed hands and feet, which are terrible for hand-holding but excellent for swimming. Like its predecessor, Golduck has the capability of using psychic powers and can do so when swimming at max speed. Golduck is also known to "punish" those who disrespect its rivers by forcibly dragging them in the water and taking them far away. That's like a horror movie. Someone should make one called "The Golduck From the Black Lagoon" or something. Anyway, there's another quiz today, so please take detailed notes!

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