Well Connected Relationships Podcast

When we find something that works for us, we tend to be comforted by the idea that we can always use that strategy to get through life’s challenges. But it isn’t always that easy. In some situations those same strategies can lead to disappointment or feeling worse. What to do then? Reach into the toolbox for a different tool. Holding our practices lightly – with humility, curiosity and flexibility – will help us find the right mindfulness and compassion-based “medicine” for us, in the right dose, at the right time.

The holidays often mean increased time spent with others, and that’s a big reason we look forward to or dread them (or both!) In this episode, we explored how to work with feelings of holiday dread we may experience by opening up to our fears, becoming curious about our underlying needs and wants, holding those needs in the context of our shared humanity and tending to ourselves with kindness.

We also explored how to savor the feelings of joy and connectedness you do feel at this hectic time of year, wonderful ways to feel connected to others regardless of your relationship status, and how to invite more joy, generosity, kindness and love into your life at the holidays (or any time).

When accomplished compassion teachers, researchers and experts Dawn MacDonald and Dr. Michael McIntyre pull back the curtain on the real-life challenges and benefits of practicing compassion in their own relationship, it makes for a podcast you won’t want to miss!

We explored how the busy parents of six practice compassion to create the space for deeper connection AND shared so many connection-boosters (and busters) like not forcing sameness, asking for/accepting help with gratitude vs. acquiescence, identifying your relationship’s shared values, what to do when your partner sees things differently than you, and creating safety through kindness.

I sat down with Sara Schairer who is founder of the nonprofit Compassion-It and a certified teacher of the Compassion Cultivation Training Program, developed at Stanford University. Sara has a talent for making compassion easy and effective, and we talked about how to do that more intentionally now, when it’s so urgently needed.

We covered why compassion is critical for us to thrive and be happy (both personally and collectively), what often stops people from compassion, and the surprisingly easy ways to practice it that feel great, too!

I sat down with licensed psychologist, Dr. Mitch Abblett, who is the author of several mindfulness-based books and whose work has been featured in Psychology Today, Mindful Magazine, Newsweek, and the New York Times. Through his podcast and teachings, he helps people authentically, compassionately and courageously connect with the true prizes in one another.

Together we explored mindful communication, why and how we lie, and why it’s important to practice telling what Mitch calls Big T Truth. We’ll also touch on how mindfulness can help us with Big T Truth and healthy communication.

When I first interviewed mindfulness expert Micki Fine on People-Pleasing, it quickly became one of our most listened to podcast episodes! She’s back, this time talking about finding Unshakable Equanimity in the midst of the inevitable storms of life and relationships. We explore how to work with our human nature to get pulled off center and push against things in life that we don’t want (or grasp at things we do!), how to cultivate soft, wise, resilience in these difficult moments, and the surprising ways it makes our relationships better when we do.

Micki is the founder of Mindful Living, offering certified Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction instruction through her private practice, Rice University, MD Anderson and the Jung Center. She is author of The Need to Please: Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seeking and her children’s book May All People and Pigs Be Happy. Her new course Equanimity: Greeting the Moment Wholeheartedly begins soon.

I sat down with Ukrainian-born psychologist, author, TEDx speaker and self-proclaimed geek, Dr. Janina Scarlet, whose innovative Superhero Therapy work earned her the Eleanor Roosevelt Human Rights Award by the United Nations Association and has been featured by Yahoo, BBC, NPR, Sunday Times, CNN, CW, ABC, The New York Times, Forbes and many others.

Having survived Chernobyl radiation and persecution, Janina immigrated to the U.S. at the age of 12. She is the author of 10 books, including her latest “It Shouldn’t Be This Way” which offers a timely (and timeless) approach to accepting the things we just can’t change. 

Together we explored what the current situation in Ukraine has to teach us about how we are wired as humans, why many of us without any personal connection to Ukraine are suffering as a result of its attack, and what we can do to make a difference.

Together we explored how, as humans, we are wired with a need to be comforted and soothed in times of conflict, stress or distress — and the life- and relationship-changing discovery that we don’t have to rely on other people to do that for us. With tips from Julie’s forthcoming new book “SNAP: Out Of Chaos and Into Calmness” we can give that gift to ourselves, and our relationships benefit.

If your spirit of compassion was challenged this year (and whose wasn't), Episode #19 of our Well Connected Relationship podcast is full of simple, sustainable practices you can use to intentionally cultivate it this year. We explore why cultivating compassion in our relationships is the one New Year’s resolution we all need and why it feels as good to give as it does to receive.

In Episode #18, part 2 of our 3-part series on practicing compassion in relationships, we explore an area where I find some people in relationships get stuck -- bridging from compassion for ourselves to compassion for our partner. We look at the key roles common humanity and humility play in making sure both partners’ needs are equally tended to. If you’ve ever felt like there’s a “tug of war” going on between getting your own needs met and tending to the needs of others, I hope you’ll listen!