We're Not Fine

In this first of a six part mini-sode series “How to Love Better”, Doug and Dr Talia offer their favorite and most used couples’ therapy nuggets of wisdom. This week we focus on “If you don’t do your your work, everyone around you will have to”. The idea is that the benefit of doing your work, owning your past, your trauma, your triggers, your unmet needs, is so great. You will be changing dysfunctional and toxic relationship patterns, you will be empowered to communicate your thoughts, feelings, needs and boundaries, you will stop feeling victimized by others’ bad behavior and you will find more fulfillment and joy in your relationship life. On the flip-side, we argue the cost of not doing your work is too damaging. You will be perpetuating unhealthy patterns and continue to think others are the problem. You might even blame them for disregulating you rather than feel responsible for your own reaction, communication, and triggers. To “own” your triggers is to be freed from the unconscious toxic relationship patterns that are no longer serving you. We encourage you to level up in your precious relationship skills.

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77

Dr Talia & Doug welcome you to Part 2 of our two-part series recorded LIVE at the Rogue Buddha! Have you ever wondered why any woman in your life has had unexplainable mood swings, insomnia, irritability, rage, physical discomfort, irrational reactivity, anxiety, and/or depression? Well friends, buckle your seatbelts & grab a glass. If you, dear listener, are not a woman, you are about to understand the unbelievably powerful effects hormonal imbalances have on women, and if you are a woman, you’re welcome. You are about to feel validated and learn so much about what is happening to you.

Our amazing couple, Gabriela & Chris Ball share with us their painful journey through IVF, Post-Partum Depression/ Psychosis and Menopause. And as Gaby said, we need male allies! Chris’s perspective is invaluable as a husband struggling with his own adjustments to parenthood, grieving his father and mentor, a new job that had him traveling more often than not and their communication withered away to “How’s it going?” “Fine”. We can all relate to this too well.

In this week's episode, our couple shares how they reconnected after years of sadness, loneliness and solo journeys through their own busy lives and bumpy mental health. Gaby finally shared with Chris what she had been struggling with for four years. And stay tuned for our BONUS guest the last 25 minutes. Meet Functional Integrative Hormone Specialist Jenikka Tomashek, NP.

You will come out of this episode feeling warm & hopeful, with a suitcase full of strategies for improved partnership around the hormonal struggles, as well as increased insight into the medical angle of what’s happening, lifestyles suggestions and potential treatment options.

SEND THIS EPISODE TO YOUR HUSBANDS, WIVES, PARTNERS, SISTERS, FRIENDS, MOMS, FRIENDS’ MOMS & MOM’S FRIENDS... anyone you think would benefit from this conversation! Like, subscribe and follow for more!

https://www.superiorintegrativemedicine.com/

https://www.instagram.com/jenikkat_np?igsh=N2tteW9ndXF6bGtp

https://www.instagram.com/gaby_b_well?igsh=MXd0NXA4OXpnbndiZA==

Dr Talia & Doug welcome you to Part 1 of our two-part series recorded LIVE at the Rogue Buddha! Have you ever wondered why any woman in your life has had unexplainable mood swings, insomnia, irritability, rage, physical discomfort, irrational reactivity, anxiety, and/or depression? Well friends, buckle your seatbelts & grab a glass. If you, dear listener, are not a woman, you are about to understand the unbelievably powerful effects hormonal imbalances have on women, and if you are a woman, you’re welcome. You are about to feel validated and learn so much about what is happening to you.Our amazing couple, Gabriela & Chris Ball share with us their painful journey through IVF, Post-Partum Depression/ Psychosis and Menopause. And as Gaby said, we need male allies! Chris’s perspective is invaluable as a husband struggling with his own adjustments to parenthood, grieving his father and mentor, a new job that had him traveling more often than not and their communication withered away to “How’s it going?” “Fine”. We can all relate to this too well.Part two next week includes our couple sharing how they reconnected as Gaby shared with Chris what she had been struggling with for four years, as well as a segment with our bonus guest, Functional Integrative Hormone Specialist Jennika Tomashek, NP. You will come out of this episode feeling warm & hopeful, with a suitcase full of strategies for improved partnership around the hormonal struggles, as well as increased insight into the medical angle of what’s happening, lifestyles suggestions and potential treatment options.SEND THIS EPISODE TO YOUR HUSBANDS, WIVES, PARTNERS, SISTERS, FRIENDS, MOMS, FRIENDS’ MOMS & MOM’S FRIENDS... anyone you think would benefit from this conversation! Like, subscribe and follow for more!

Divorce is not the end, and it definitely does not need to be a black ominous mark in your life story. In this episode, Doug and Dr Talia dive into Love After Divorce! Many of us get married young in our 20s with hearts full of hope and sporting a fresh pair of rose colored glasses. We live footloose and fancy free, no responsibilities, no real problems, and then a myriad of changes happen during those next two decades that can challenge and change us to our core. Sometimes the external strains of real married life; unsupportive in-laws, purchasing a house, financial trouble, having children and all of the complications co-parenting can bring, or even something innocuous like finding a new community, hobby, or religion and growing passionately in that direction, but not with your partner. Maybe one of the partner’s develops mental illness or chemical dependency, maybe they have an affair, maybe you do. We are all human; not everyone has done their work, is an amazing communicator, or is willing to be self reflective and own their behaviors that are straining the relationship.

In which case, let’s talk about Love After Divorce. Tune in for some truly beautiful stories!

00:00 Introduction: Falling in Love After Divorce

14:59 The Importance of Self-Discovery in Relationships

17:23 Chemistry and Attraction: Essential Elements in a Relationship

21:57 Communication and Growth: Keys to Long-Term Relationships

25:41 Soulmates and Compatible Partners: Are There Multiple?

26:38 The Impact of Life Stages on Relationships

29:47 Reconnecting with High School Friends

35:15 The Importance of Emotional and Physical Intimacy

45:37 Finding Multiple Loves in One's Life

50:10 Recovering from Abusive Relationships

51:55 The Journey of Self-Growth and Self-Awareness

We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join.

https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77

Dear WNF listener, if you have listened to our show, you will know that ADHD is a topic so near to our hearts we wanted to find just the right person with just the right knowledge base and approach to do this complex and relevant topic justice. In this episode, we hear from federal attorney and trade negotiator turned founder of Interlace Solutions, a coaching firm helping professionals and executives to fulfill their potential. Elle O'Flaherty coaches both individuals with ADHD and couples who would like to partner better around ADHD. If you or your loved one has ADHD, this episode will really speak to you. We cover how to determine the difference between unfocused, burnt out, unmotivated and actual diagnosable ADHD, most common ADHD related issues for the ADHD-er, and then we dive into the impact of ADHD on a relationship. And most importantly, this episode is packed full of apps, resources, strategies for better mutual understanding and partnership around ADHD. Prepare to feel so much love and compassion of all those involved.

https://www.interlacesolutions.com/

@elleoflaherty on Instagram

00:00 Introduction and Excitement for the Topic

01:23 Overview of the Podcast and Topic

03:11 Personal Stories and Examples of ADHD Challenges

05:38 ADHD Brain Traits and Accommodations

08:20 Understanding ADHD as a Strength

10:05 Managing ADHD Symptoms and Challenges

16:06 Elle O'Flaherty's Background and Interest in ADHD

22:31 Increase in ADHD Diagnoses in Women

24:48 Stigma and Disclosure of ADHD

28:48 Talking About ADHD in the Workplace and Relationships

32:03 Motivating Individuals with ADHD

36:10 Reframing and Adding Interest to Tasks

40:43 ADHD and OCD Overlap

42:08 The Overlap Between ADHD, Trauma, and Autism Spectrum Disorders

43:05 The Lack of Training and Understanding Among Healthcare Professionals

45:23 The Challenges of the DSM-5 Definition of ADHD

46:17 Medication and ADHD Coaching as Treatment Options

50:27 Strategies for Managing ADHD Symptoms

53:45 Externalizing Memory and Accommodating ADHD in Daily Life

56:02 Creating Routines and Accommodating ADHD in Relationships

01:06:21 Understanding Time Blindness and Hyperfocus in ADHD

01:13:19 The Benefits of Having an ADHD Partner or Co-worker

01:14:43 Accommodating and Supporting Individuals with ADHD in Relationships

01:19:20 Strategies for Navigating ADHD in Relationships

We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join.

https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77

Are there scenarios in which a potential love or sex interest could be a platonic friend? Mayyyyyyyyyybe, but unlikely. In this episode, Doug and Dr Talia look at this question from many angles, and we want our listeners to chime in! Do you agree that it is nearly impossible? Have you had experiences of successful platonic relationships that have remained uncomplicated with exes, friends of the opposite sex if you are straight or bi, and friends of the same sex if you are gay or bi? We discuss sexuality, attraction, communication, and a fascinating research study of the American Scientific Journal. Tune in!

00:00 Introduction and Disclaimer

02:39 Can You Have Platonic Relationships with Attraction?

15:39 Differences in Perception Between Men and Women

20:12 The Impact of Socialization and Stereotypes

28:01 Debating the Feasibility of Platonic Relationships

34:33 Navigating Platonic Relationships with Attraction

39:46 The Challenges of Maintaining Platonic Relationships

45:58 Conclusion and Call to Action

We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join.

https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77

In this classic Mailbag Episode Dr Talia and Doug tackle two tough but relatable relationship issues. In the first, Amy gives Jake an ultimatum; either he quits his dangerous air courier job in Alaska after he lost two of his best friends doing the same dangerous job, or she leaves. But this career is his soul filling passion. What to do? And in the second mailbag Jess messed up with her serious long distance boyfriend of 6 months when she started up a “platonic” in-person friendship with her ex lover. She has been incredibly transparent and has done everything to honor her boyfriend’s feelings short of ending the friendship. Dan says he has had enough. What to do? Can these couples be saved? Tune in to find out!

00:00 Introduction and Disclaimer

01:20 Recap of Previous Episode and Live Event

10:19 Introduction to Mailbag Episode

11:43 Jake's Dilemma: Convincing Girlfriend About Job Safety

18:12 Navigating the Balance Between Passion and Relationship

23:42 Understanding Different Tolerances for Risk in Relationships

25:55 Addressing Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment in Relationships

26:51 The Importance of Open Communication and Compromise

28:17 Accepting the Inherent Risks in Certain Professions

31:59 The Importance of Transparency and Trust in Relationships

34:19 Learning from Past Mistakes

37:26 Navigating Long-Distance Relationships

We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join.

https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77

In this LIVE recorded episode, Doug and Dr Talia have a conversation with Kim Harms, DDS about her journey through multiple catastrophic losses in her life; the resilience and grace with which she came out of the darkest grief pit, as well as the incredible wisdom and advice she gives to other survivors of painful losses of loved ones. She lost both her mother and her 19 year old son to suicide, and her husband from what she is certain was a broken heart. This episode will give you such compassion for yourself and empathy for others in similar painful circumstances. We also hope you will be inspired to fight your way back to yourself, as Dr Kim says, and fight your way back to your remaining loved ones.

Website: drkimberlyharms.com

Book #1: Naomi & the Widows Club https://a.co/d/7QZdDuo and the workbook is just coming out!

Book #2: Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For also coming out now, more information on her website!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

03:18 The Importance of Finding Joy in the Present Moment

06:40 Dr. Harms' Personal Experience with Suicide and Mental Illness

09:26 The Tragic Loss of Dr. Harms' Son

12:20 Finding Meaning and Beliefs About the Afterlife

17:01 Family History of Suicidal Depression

19:50 The Loss of Dr. Harms' Husband

23:03 Navigating Loss and Making Alternative Plans

25:20 The Power of Revenge and Fighting the Grief Pit

27:17 Understanding the Phases of Grief

30:07 Navigating the Stages of Grief and Healing

32:03 Finding a Safe Place and Conquering Fear and Loneliness

33:02 Updating Identity and Finding Purpose and Joy

35:20 Navigating Relationships and Love After Loss

39:34 Overcoming Obstacles to Healing

45:00 Planning for the End of Life

01:00:00 Conversations about Death and Downsizing

01:01:28 Planning Ahead and Choosing Where to Go

01:03:12 The Challenge of Downsizing and Feeling Clean

01:05:05 Leaving a Positive Legacy

01:08:50 Finding Purpose Within and Living a Joyful Life

01:09:46 Seeking Professional Help and Fighting for Well-being

We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join.

https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77

In this episode, Dr Talia and Doug talk boundaries with Dr Catherine Cleveland. Boundaries really get a bad rap. We think of them as entitled, cold, rejecting, and whiny. Well, the joke is on us. The fewer boundaries we have with our loved ones, the more those relationships are fraught with irritation, resentment and even bubbling rage. "They should already know they are asking too much", we say to ourselves. "They should intuit that I hate when they drone on about my day." "Can't they see I am overwhelmed and can't take another thing on?" And then we say "go on", "sure, honey", "no problem", and then guess what? We add to our pile of resentment towards someone we care about that ultimately ends up leaking out of us with sarcasm, eye rolls and passive-aggressive snarkiness. What is the antidote? Boundaries! Let's rebrand this bad boy. If we understand our own values and communicate them clearly and lovingly, we eliminate over 50% of our interpersonal frustration. The other 50% of our frustration is most likely that we are not being honest with ourselves about our own needs and preferences. Well, we will help you with that! Meet our guest Dr Catherine Cleveland. She is a PhD-trained licensed mental health counselor who is deeply passionate about assisting individuals in rural and local communities with their personal challenges. She founded Cleveland Emotional Health, LLC, and developed The Cleveland Emotional Health Residency Program for master’s and PhD-level graduates, dedicated to promoting distinguished mental health counseling. She also wrote the Book The Four Essential Pillars of Boundary Setting: A practice-informed guide to Elevate your Empowerment, Authenticity and Self-Worth.

https://a.co/d/03QpghE3

We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join.

https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77

Hey listeners, this is We're Not Fine with a quick update. We're taking a break this week to celebrate the holiday. We'll be back next week with more great content. Enjoy your holiday, and thanks for understanding!

We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join.

https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

We're Not Fine

https://werenotfine.com

Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop

Instagram: @werenotfinepod

Doug Jensen

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: douglasljensen

Twitter: dougjensen4Cs

Dr. Talia Jackson

Profile: https://werenotfine.com/our-team/

Email: [email protected]

IG: @drtaliajackson

Twitter: @Talia.Jackson77