With the holiday season around the corner, are you feeling anxious at the thought of family get-togethers?

You’re not alone! It happens to a lot of us, and there are plenty of movies and real life examples of the things that can go wrong, or what happens when “we lose it” at family gatherings… SO, let’s talk about it!

Ideally, holidays should be a time for celebrating and having fun. Although at times, we’re very likely to end up stressed out, overwhelmed, and often tension during gatherings can put a damper on things.

Let’s not allow loved ones to become our enemy during times meant to be celebrating.

Our context is too small if we allow that to happen – we’re too in the weeds, and are being small-minded, and we’re not focusing on the big picture.

It’s happened to too many of us at some point, but from here on out, let us stay alert and not take part in the smallness of getting into arguments with those we love.

Think bigger… evolve beyond any petty stuff if/or when it comes up… it’s not worth it. Focus on making the best memories possible… DON’T FORGET to take lots of pictures, too!!

Arguments are usually a result of disagreements, perceived mistreatment, unmet expectations.

Blame NO ONE else for things going wrong when you’re part of it… we do too much blaming sometimes!

Remember… focus on creating the best memories, allow everyone to be themselves, overlook imperfections, enjoy yourself… be proud in the future of the memories created during this holiday season.

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Mentioned today:

Being Nobody, Going NOWHERE by Ayya Khema

INCLUDED with your Audible subscription.

Ever woken up and asked yourself, “How in the world did I end up here, in this situation?”

I have.

And according to what I was thinking then… I HAD NO CLUE!!

Today we’re talking about being intentional when creating our lives from here on out.

Hey Beautiful!!

How’s that possible… but it happens to all of us, and to some of us more than others.

Going forward, I want to invite you to join me in creating our life ON PURPOSE!!

Which means thinking on purpose about the future.

If 5 or 10 years go by and NOTHING in your life changes, except you’re 5 or 10 years older, will you be content?

TO DO suggestions:

1. Make a list…. Think of the OPPOSITE your DESIRES

Let’s get to work… you’re worth it, I’m worth it… we’re worth it!!

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What surroundings inspire you to be the best version of you?

Is it a lovely clutter-free home, a very organized closet or desk, a clean car, a beautiful garden? A light room, a dark cozy room, maybe a fireplace?

We all thrive under different conditions and we’re all inspired by different things, and people.

I get so inspired when my house is in order, especially all papers (including my crafting papers), I hate junk mail, and I love having a beautiful lush garden to walk out to in the morning and in the evening. At my house the curtains are never closed, I love a light and airy house!

So if you’ve been feeling uninspired lately, stagnant maybe, feeling a lack, then think about what works for you, what inspires you to soar, what gives you wings?

So if money is an issue… Putting money aside, what creates a feeling/experience of ease, comfort, peace, and pleasure for you?

And if you’re not surrounding yourself with as many of these things as possible, make a shift … that includes being surrounded by the right… people, watching the right movies/shows.

Reading the right books, wearing the best clothes possible, that make you feel your best… as has been said, "Dress how you want to be addressed.”

Let’s pay attention also to our physical surroundings… top to bottom, left to right… each room of your home, your closet /clothes, jewelry.

This is of course, keeping in mind HOW we want to be inspired!

Pay attention… change things little by little, or all together if you can, but move in the direction of having your surroundings match/support your vision for where you’re headed and that support the future you envision.

Ever been to someone’s house and you couldn’t wait to go home so you could make changes in your house or garden?? In last Episode #48, Our Thoughts Create Our Future, I mentioned my dear friend Debbie aka Debbie-Doo, whom I think could be a Home-styling Coach! Her home looks like it came out of a magazine page!

This also happens to me when I visit my sister Maria… her garden is so incredible, you feel like you’re in the Garden of Eden, and she always sends me home with tons of plants and cuttings. I want to be around people like them, who inspire me in many different ways. Everyone is different and different people will inspire us in different ways, as we also, hopefully, inspire others.

We’re all unique and meant for absolute greatness… so keeping that in mind, surround yourself with all the things that will inspire you to be all you’re meant to be.

MENTIONS:

Ep 48 – Our Thoughts Create Our Reality:

Ep 20 – Bloom Where You’re Planted

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Looking at the world as “all this was created just for me”…

The trees, flowers, the air we breathe, the sun, your home, your bed,  your sheets,  gas to heat your home,  electricity, hot clean running water, the internet, amazon.com, smart phones, Facebook… on my phone, GPS… on your phone!

Instead of “I never catch a break”…  can really change one’s life

Changing thoughts like

“I’m a magnet for losers” to “I know a wonderful man is out there waiting just for me” would feel so much better, if we believed it!

“This job is awful and it doesn’t pay well”… how about trying on this thought instead “I’m gaining so much experience in this job that I can use to help me get my next job.”

Taking the focus off a negative thought like buying books on “How to de-clutter your home”, meaning my thoughts are “home IS cluttered”!… instead how about buying books that already reflect the home of my dreams (even if I’m not there yet!)

If you think your environment is bogging you down… Change it.  Start small, just start.

When a good thought enters your mind, a bad thought can’t exist there at the same time.

Think of opposites / homework:

Whatever you’re currently not liking… start to ONLY think of the OPPOSITE, and walk in that direction, in those shoes… make that your NEW REALITY. LIVE in it, BECOME it… even little by little. Little by little will help our brain believe that they dream can come true.

Try to apply these thoughts to areas of your life you want to change.

I have a dysfunctional family…  try this instead: I have a family and we’re working on improving our relationships.

My family doesn’t get along… try this instead: my family has had difficulties and we’re overcoming them.

My marriage is falling apart… try this instead: I’m so glad for the resources available on how to improve my marriage. I am grateful to have a husband/partner who loves me and that I love and care for.

My children don’t visit me enough… try this instead: I’m so glad my children have good lives and are taking care of themselves and their families. So grateful to know they’re ok

My in-laws meddle in my life too much… try this instead: I’m so thankful to have in-laws who care about us and want to be involved, and helpful in our lives.

Finally, just know that any challenges we face make us stronger in the end… so we can look at “negatives” as rungs in the ladder of life and evolution. Because when we do that, we can’t help but elevate ourselves and next level our lives.

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If someone made a movie about your life, and you went to see it, would it inspire you, make you sad, happy, would you cry happy tears? How would you feel leaving the theatre after having watched the movie of your life? What’s your favorite movie, and why? What movies about women inspire you? Movies mimic real life, even if we aren’t always aware of it. Would your movie become a classic movie that people would still want to watch long after you leave this earth? There are two reasons to ask ourselves these questions… one is that we are the star of our own movie, so it’s important to understand that the role(s) we play matter. It’s also up to us as to HOW we play those roles… wife, mother, sister, etc. Do we like how we are playing these roles? Exception: We are not going to be able, or desire, to play all our roles the best we can all the time, and that’s not a problem… we don’t have to. I’m just suggesting we become aware of the parts we play. Often we don’t think about these things… If I’m a wife, what kind of wife am I being? In movies, bad characters don’t end well, and I feel it’s the same in real life… how we play our part attracts a certain energy, certain people and things to us. Think about who you are (roles you play) and pick a role you like best… think of a movie where you love a character that had a transformation. The MOST important part of this idea is to ask yourself IF your movie represents the life you want to live on this earth, and what you’ll be remembered by? So maybe we can borrow some inspiration from movies we like: I feel Pretty, Amy Schumer comes to mind, as far as becoming our true selves and owning our uniqueness. Her transformation was internal first, not from how she looked. Lastly… what matters is our Character, not our appearances so much (at least not always), but often they go hand in hand. Appearances are important to our visual senses, and make a huge difference in how we see ourselves and how others experience us at first. Think consciously and on purpose of the role you’re playing, not just for your own enjoyment, but also for the example you’re being to those who get to be part of your life, and the memory you’re leaving behind with everyone you come in contact with. Play your part, or parts, in a way that you create your own movie for YOU to experience as you move forward in this life. To look back on and be glad of the actions you took… of how you played YOU! Mentioned in this episode: I Feel Pretty, movie Let’s connect on... INSTAGRAM: @women.rising.together https://www.instagram.com/women.rising.together/ PRIVATE & FREE FACEBOOK COMMUNITY: WomenRisingTogether2021 https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenrisingtogether2021

Watch the video: https://youtu.be/ELIU9fwyHEA

Having a problem in your life, with what IS?

When our thinking is constantly going to what other people should do, or not do, it creates big “problems” for us!

“He works too much,” “he’s so lazy,” “he’s so messy,” “she’s OCD,” “they should mind their own business”….

Thinking that what is happening should not be happening, but doing nothing about it when things are within our control, can ruin lives.

Thinking that things that just happen shouldn’t be happening, is a losing and toxic battle.

Thinking people shouldn’t be saying things about us, “behind our backs” … or that they should only do good things, will get us nothing. It’s only what WE do, or think that we can control.

What to do?? Redirect that energy into creating something, something good for yourself.

Turning our suffering into goodness, to a positive… into a learning experience… into something good for everyone… this is good use of our energy. Complaining gets us nowhere, and I heard it said once that if we have a complaint we should have a solution.  What a great idea, let’s do that!

Let’s turn our suffering into solutions. Right the “wrongs” we see, by thoughts that serve us, not hurt us.

Don’t fight what is… fight, and create WITH what is.

“When you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the time.” - Byron Katie

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Has there ever been a certain someone in your life that did something wonderful for you or someone you know, that you never forget?

Something ONLY THEY could’ve done the way it was done, and did it when it was needed?

Just like them, each one of us has divine gifts only we possess, and we’ve been chosen and called to share them with others.

Is there something BIG inside of us we can do for others, especially those we love the most?

Something SO HUGE that we have never even dared ask ourselves that question, for fear of even thinking we couldn’t do it?

How can we do that… develop and share our gifts?

Any way we can… start asking questions of YOURSELF.

If you knew how to do it, how would I do it? Start there, now.

Give yourself permission to try new BIG things, ideas, and the faster you try them the better.

You are unique. Those you love, and the world, need what only you can do. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, start exploring right now.

If this resonates with you, reach out to me. It’s my mission to help other women discover their greatness.

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Today let’s discuss why we have so many beliefs that don’t serve us, and questions why that is.

Like…

The meaning of having or not having money

We must start thinking how we can change our limiting beliefs…

Like not long ago we used to think/believe that you had to be young, thin, and tall to be a model!

Have a certain body type to be a ballet dancer? Take a look at Misty Copeland… she didn’t believe that.

Model ideals were the likes of Cindy Crawford, Heidi Klum, Naomi Campbell … then thank goodness contrast came along in the likes of…

Tess Holliday , Colleen Heidemann, Lyn Slater and more

Come on! What or who are we waiting for to break the mental mold keeping us boxed in?

We’re the ONLY ONES that can make things happen for us… you know why?? Because we’re the ONLY ONES THAT KNOW what the hell we want? People are not mind readers that are going to come along and hand us our desires on a platter… we/YOU are the ONE that has the power withIN.

Think of all the other things currently in your life (or not in your life) that you don’t believe are possible for you, for whatever reason. I have some of these beliefs to work on as well, most of us do.

Ask yourself this… if money didn’t play a part in deciding what you could be, do, or have?

So get thinking and imagining what could be possible for you. Think of and be motivated by other women who’ve overcome things and broken the mold.

So after we think all this up we’re going to “make believe” it’s already ours…. Why? Because what happens when we believe?????? Everything we want, that’s what!  The only thing getting in our way is our brain… so it’s time to starting thinking and believing NEW things… believing what’s possible for us!

Look at things you’ve ALREADY created in your life… and just like that you can create new things, things you may have never thought were possible for you!

Where would you start, what would your first step be in order to align with the true desires of your heart? You are not too nothing to go after what you want... Starting questioning and GO!!

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If there’s anything currently in your life, not to your liking… the secret sauce to fixing it is YOU!!

It’s all inside YOUR brain!!

Today we’ll be discussing how to improve marriage/relationships, and how you’re the secret sauce to that.

Focusing specifically on love/marriage relationships.

I want you to pay attention because if YOU are having tumultuous/difficult relationships, especially with different people in your life… YOU are the common denominator here, and you must start leading in the right direction.

I once heard these words: “your marriage can as amazing as YOU want it to be.”  This blew my mind and sent my brain into spiral thinking, and ideas as to how this was possible, if my spouse was not on board with it???

One question came to mind at some point after that… “if I were, say a queen, would my husband treat me differently?” And what came back was a resounding YES, he would!!

This told me that what I needed to change was not him, but my thinking as to WHO I was BEING.

In other words, if your husband is treating only you badly, but then he goes to work, the grocery store, church… and treats other women differently, it’s because he knows these other women will not stand for it.

Why does he feel he can behave differently with you/with me??

This is a very deep subject, with many variables and very specific to every couple. But what I want you to think about is this…

Some tips to try, IF you want to, if you trust, feel safe (if this is not the case get help!), and if you love your partner enough to desire to improve your relationship:

If you want more romance, do you make an effort to foster a romantic atmosphere in your home, especially in the bedroom?  The bedroom is where you come together at night, so look at it and make it feel the way you want it, and hopefully the way he would want it.  The bedroom should be a restful place where you come together to restore your relationship every night, where your souls reunite and reconcile after each day’s events.

That’s what I have for you today… hopefully it comes in handy in some way.

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Today I’m inviting you to do a few things with me…

1)  To pay attention (to observe, not judge) the dialogue of those around you, TV, social media, who constantly complain about trials, past and present.

2)  What happens when we focus on and complain about the not-so-great things in life?  Everyone wants to sympathize and be understanding, it’s our nature… It’s a “being in the same boat” kind of gesture.

3)  what happens when someone posts or talks about an amazing celebration/accomplishment (not including weddings, births, or graduations) such as, “I look and feel so amazing today, look how amazing I look in this new expensive dress”?

4)  What if we thought of trials as “I’m going to grow so much from this," “who knows what amazing things will come my way because of this,” that one day I’ll get to celebrate.

Because if we look at our lives and we love where we are, or a lot of it… it all came as a results of where we’ve been, the road I’ve traveled and all its turns.

(For example, something I cried tears over decades ago lead me to where I am today… to live near my 7 grandchildren with my amazing husband.  But I didn’t know then that there was a road being paved in front of me by my circumstances… everything was happening for me, not to me.)

When we complain about our (let’s say not significant) trials, we are not only disregarding what we’ve learned from them, but also taking for granted all the good in our current lives that came as result of those trials.

So this is just an invitation to keep an eye out for the things we complain about, or commiserate with others and sucked into their vortex of misery; life is so sad even when it’s not even your trial.

All we have to do is listen to the news to know that celebrating everyday joys would be boring… BUT not if you ask Martha Stewart… it’s no wonder I have decades-old collections of her magazines, which sadly (yeah here I go complaining, which may be the only thing you remember from this episode) are no longer being published!  What??

But truly, we are not ever encouraged to celebrate the everyday openly, in fact we’re not even supposed to talk about how much we make.  And as it turns out, what a convenience for companies who were paying men higher salaries than women for doing the same job!

So in closing, next time you feel in despair or like complaining about a trial, try to think of it as something that perhaps one day in the future you will be strengthened by, or even thankful for something that came your way as a result of it.

And let’s start celebrating the everyday joys more openly! I challenge you!!

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