You’d think that the more experience you have in marriage, the better the chances of avoiding divorce, right?
Not so!
So here are the things I didn’t know back when my first marriage was falling apart, or when my second marriage seemed to be headed in the same direction and before I discovered life coaching… Not therapy or marriage counseling, but life coaching!
I had not read "The Vortex" by Esther Hicks, nor "The Ten Bridges of Transformation" by Marianne Williamson, and so much more!
But I’ve since discovered that WE are ALL damaged (been hurt) in some way, so we’re never going to find, or be, the “perfect-behaving” match at all times for everyone in our lives. It’s impossible.
Here are the reasons I’ve discovered, contributing to our marriages failing, over and over again!
Reason 1: Our complete happiness is 100% our responsibility, not our husband’s or anyone else’s… Thinking that if only “he would change”, everything would be just fine. This is a thought ERROR. Ignore it.
Reason 2: Thinking (I thought) the problem was 100% our husband’s… I was an innocent angel, the “victim”… and we even tell everyone about how awful our husband is, but even worse than telling everyone is… WE believe it ourselves.
Reason 3: I was hell-bent on changing/controlling my husband… because “HE was the problem”. Now I can’t say that with 100% certainty.
Reason 4: I didn’t know a thing about my feminine power/energy or his masculine energy, or how to embrace that for our benefit and to save our marriage.
Reason 5: I didn’t know a thing about how men like to be treated by the women, especially by their wife.
Reason 6: I can’t pour from an empty cup. When we’re mentally lacking we come across as needy, clingy, insecure, jealous, and we forget ourselves and our personal growth, our potential.
POINTS to remember:
A: We were all born perfect, and then life shapes us… let’s not forget that we act according to our scars and fears.
B: Each one of us is doing the best we can with what we have right now. Hold space for that.
C: Our circumstances shaped us (up to a point), but we can create new circumstances in different areas of our lives.
D: WE (you and I) are the secret, the fix, the solution… and that is freaking great news!
E: Switching-out husbands only means dealing with new “problems” with the next one. Let’s work on ourselves instead.
F: No matter where we go, we take ourselves with us! So unless we change, we’ll always be facing similar “problems.”
IMPORTANT:
If you are in an abusive relationship and feel you are not safe, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline below right away!
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service
800-799-7233
SMS: Text START to 88788
Learn more
Mentioned on this episode:
"The Vortex" by Esther and Jerry Hicks
https://www.amazon.com/Vortex-Attraction-Assembles-Cooperative-Relationships/dp/1401958788/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1679359734&sr=8-1
"The Ten Bridges of Transformation" by Marianne Williamson, on Audible, no link provided
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