What if the faith you were raised in wasn’t chosen but programmed? Whether you’re questioning everything or doubling down on your beliefs, this landmark 200th episode is for you. Monte Mader’s journey from Christian nationalist-in-training to spiritual deconstructionist isn’t an attack it’s an invitation. An invitation to examine what you inherited, what you believe, and why. No matter where you land, this conversation might challenge something you’ve never dared to question and that’s exactly why you need to hear it.

Spirituality can be a powerful source of comfort, connection, and personal growth but when faith is distorted by fear, control, or coercion, it can leave deep emotional wounds. Religious trauma doesn’t come from belief itself, but from environments where questioning is punished, conformity is demanded, and individuals especially children are not given the right to consent. This kind of trauma often shows up as chronic guilt, anxiety around “disobedience,” fear-based obedience, or a loss of personal identity. Whether you’ve grown up in a high-control religious group or entered one later in life, warning signs may include black-and-white thinking, spiritual manipulation, isolation from non-believers, and teachings that prioritize hierarchy over compassion. It’s important to remember: religion is not inherently harmful but unchecked power within it can be. If you’re questioning your experience, you’re not alone. Resources like Reclamation Collective, The Religious Trauma Institute, and Dr. Marlene Winell’s Recovery from Religion offer education, support, and healing communities for those navigating spiritual abuse or religious deconstruction. Healing is possible, and your story is valid.

What This Episode Covers:

• Monte’s personal turning point: the moment her belief system cracked
• The mental health toll of religious trauma and spiritual fear in childhood
• How Christian nationalism shaped her worldview—and why she walked away
• The psychological impact of purity culture on women’s identity and self-worth
• Why “submission,” obedience, and modesty were never about holiness
• The danger of unquestioned authority in faith-based systems
• How spiritual teachings can be twisted to uphold patriarchy and white supremacy
• The difference between faith and fear—and how to tell which one’s guiding you
• What the Bible actually says (and doesn’t) about women, sexuality, and power
• Why reclaiming curiosity is the key to healing religious trauma
• A call for compassion, critical thinking, and honest self-examination—no matter what you believe

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Patrick Custer – Host
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Monte Mader – Guest
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Promises Behavioral Health – Treatment for addiction, mental health/trauma:
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Mental Health America:
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