Beauty in the Break

What Depression Really Feels Like


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Vulnerable is beautiful. In this conversation about mental health, depression, and healing, Cesar shares his life-long struggle with clinical depression. He describes how it manifested in childhood, relationships, substance use, and moments of crisis. Together on Beauty in the Break, Foster and Cesar break down what depression actually feels like inside the mind and body, why so many people don’t recognize their symptoms, and how tools like SSRIs, meditation, and Buddhist philosophy helped him move toward clarity and peace.

Foster brings essential insight into postpartum depression (PPD), perinatal mood disorders, and the alarming mental health statistics among birthing people, especially Black and Brown parents who face systemic inequities. Together, they unpack why depression often hides behind confidence and how to speak about suicidal thoughts with compassion. This powerful episode will help you better understand depression whether it lives in you or someone you care about. 

In this episode they explore: 

  • What depression actually feels like from the inside
  • The truth about alcoholism and depression’s chemical grip
  • How SSRIs transformed Cesar’s relationship with his own mind
  • The surprising connection between Buddhism, meditation, and healing
  • The moment Cesar nearly ended his life, and the tattoo that saved him
  • Postpartum depression statistics everyone should know
  • How to best support someone in a depressive episode

If you or someone you know needs support: 

  • Call or text 988 for the 24/7 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US
  • Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
  • Postpartum Support International (PSI)

Also mentioned: 

  • Maternal Health Advocate Angelina Spicer and her non-profit Spicey Moms

If this episode spoke to you, you will love The Eating Habits We Didn’t Choose where we explore disordered eating and food insecurity. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram

Cesar Cardona:

  • Receive his monthly newsletter Insights That Matter
  • Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
  • Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

  • Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
  • Learn about her postpartum services
  • Receive her monthly newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar C

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Beauty in the BreakBy Cesar Cardona & Foster Wilson

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