How do you hold onto hope when there seems to be none? James Leo Ryan shares his journey as a caregiver after his husband, actor Rodney To, suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm that nearly took his life. Nearly three years later, Rodney is defying the odds with his signature sass intact. This episode explores the power of caregiving advocacy, learning to show up for people in crisis, the strength hidden within all of us, and why "be your own quiet miracle" became James's guiding philosophy through the darkest and most beautiful moments of their lives.

In this episode they explore: 

• What it truly means to have hope against all odds
• The gut-wrenching decision: funeral clothes vs. tracheostomy against medical advice
• What caregivers actually need (hint: it's not "let me know if you need anything")
• Why advocacy is not complaining – and how to set boundaries with medical professionals
• How to truly show up for someone in crisis 

You can follow Rodney’s journey (now at home!) with James on his instagram. 

Watch the hilarious Rodney To as the vet in Foster’s short film 5 Stages of Grief.

If you would like to contribute to Rodney’s recovery at home, you can donate to their GoFundMe here. 

If this episode spoke to you, you will love How to Be a Rebel with Dr. Reid Wilson where we explore standing up against systems. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

Special Guest: James Leo Ryan

This episode is brought to you by Arlene Thornton & Associates

Send us Fan Mail

They’re open! Cesar and Foster ask “what does ethical non-monogamy (ENM) actually look like in a committed relationship?” They open up about their journey into exploring an open relationship structure, challenging traditional ideas about monogamy, possession, and what it means to truly choose your partner every day. From Cesar's past of promiscuity to Foster's demisexual identity, they discuss why they don't believe in owning each other, how exploring outside their relationship actually strengthened their bond, and why keeping sexuality in the shadows can really backfire. This episode tackles body counts without shame, the freedom of non-possession in relationships, and why both partners deserve the space to be fully themselves without judgment.

In this episode they explore: 

• Foster and Cesar’s shocking body count reveal
• The philosophy shift: "I don't own you" and what it means for love
• Why keeping sexuality in shadows versus light changes everything
• The unexpected way non-monogamy strengthened their bond instead of breaking it
• Why ethical non-monogamy requires letting go of possession entirely

If this episode spoke to you, you will love So…Sexuality Isn’t Simple where we share our pansexuality and demisexual identities. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Jamaal Pittman. You can donate to his scholarship at WheelerScholarship.com, supporting college enrollment.

Send us Fan Mail

How do you overcome adversity and build a successful creative career from nothing? Creative director and vocalist Dedrick Bonner shares his journey from being a Black gay man raised in a Pentecostal church in Alabama to working with Beyoncé, Stevie Wonder, Dolly Parton, and performing at the Oscars with the cast of Sinners. Dedrick opens up about experiencing homelessness during high school, finding resilience in rock bottom moments, and discovering that the most successful people share one common and vital trait. From church rejection to making history as the first-ever musical performance at the SAG Awards, this conversation explores gratitude despite struggle, the beauty found in failure, and why rock bottom is actually a blessing in disguise that clears space for something greater.

In this episode they explore: 

• The heartbreaking reason Dedrick chose to triple major in college
• What Beyoncé, Dolly Parton, and Aretha Franklin all have in common
• How a pastor’s kid from Alabama made history at the SAG Awards
• The real meaning of resilience
• How to find the joy in your creative work again
• Why "self-made" success is a complete myth (according to someone who's seen it all)

Dedrick Bonner:

• IG: @dedrickbonner

Also mentioned:

• How To Spot A Gatekeeper (Even If It’s You)
• Our episode on women in Hollywood

You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

Editor: Bessie Fong

Special Guest: Dedrick Bonner

This episode is brought to you by Arlene Thornton & Associates

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when you face your fears and put yourself out there on social media, only to be publicly criticized? Foster and Cesar honestly reflect on their experience going viral, navigating online negativity and learning to handle public vulnerability despite the anxiety. They discuss the biological need for social connection, why divisive content performs better than positive news, and how to protect your peace when internet strangers attack your choices. They share insights on exposure therapy through social media, meeting critics with compassion instead of defensiveness, and why it’s worth it to continue to spread good despite the uphill battle. 

In this episode: 

• Indie film Home Delivery written and directed by Thom Harp. Opens March 27th, 2026 in the US
• Foster + Cesar’s guest episode on Tell Me Something Messy with Brandon Kyle Goodman.

If this episode spoke to you, you will love The Beauty of Letting Go, where our hosts dive deeper into facing fears. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Jamaal Pittman. You can donate to his scholarship at WheelerScholarship.com, supporting college enrollment.

Send us Fan Mail

How do you stay authentic and maintain hope in uncertain times? Actress and writer Lesley Fera (Pretty Little Liars) joins Foster and Cesar to discuss finding play and creativity in adulthood, trusting the universe when life feels chaotic, and how grief transformed her relationship with writing. Lesley shares her journey of peeling back layers to return to her authentic self, the power of surrendering control, and how activism and joy can coexist. 

In this episode they explore: 

• Why returning to authenticity feels like returning to childhood
• The grief that pushed Lesley Fera back to writing after drifting away
• How to maintain hope and light when the world feels bleak
• Why trusting "the greatest good" changes everything

Lesley Fera: 

• IG: @mslesleyfera
• Lesley’s short film Grace on IG: @gracetheshortfilm
• Crowdfunding info for Grace 
• The sexy Pandora station that became famous in this episode: Native American Flute Radio

If this episode spoke to you, you will love How to Be a Rebel with Dr. Reid Wilson where Foster’s dad shares how he turned his urge to be a troublemaker into a force for good. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Arlene Thornton & Associates

Send us Fan Mail

Ask Us Anything! Foster and Cesar answer listener questions about working together as romantic partners on a podcast, the worst advice people give during hard times, and the intentional choice of the word "partner" instead of "girlfriend”. They share the pros and cons of creative collaboration in relationships, why the podcast has become their creative "baby," and reveal the well-meaning advice that actually hurts.

In this episode they explore: 

• The grief advice Foster finds unhelpful (even though she believes it herself)
• How working together revealed their unexpected strengths as a couple
• What their podcast has in common with having a baby together
• How they avoid ego battles while collaborating on creative projects
• Why relationships are mirrors, not hierarchies (and what that means for advice)

If this episode spoke to you, you will love Say More! Vol. 2: Hustle Culture Sucks & Other Dangerously Fun Confessions. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Jamaal Pittman. You can donate to his scholarship at WheelerScholarship.com, supporting college enrollment.

Send us Fan Mail

How do you build a successful career path by just being yourself? Foster shares her unexpected journey from actor to film director after the death of her son, while Cesar reveals how he built a successful business without spending a dollar on marketing. They explore the paradox of being a female director in Hollywood and why being yourself is your greatest advantage in any career. If you’re pivoting careers, breaking into a new industry, or building from scratch, this conversation talks practical wisdom about leveraging your uniqueness and creating meaningful connections because truthfully...  success comes from being irreplaceable. 

In this episode they explore: 

• Why grief became the catalyst for a complete career pivot
• The Hollywood catch-22: When diversity programs help and hurt at the same time
• How one person built a 10-year training business without spending a dollar on ads
• The security guard at NYU who remembered every student's name (and what that teaches us)
• Why your unique fingerprint on your work is your only real competitive advantage

Also mentioned: 

• The loss of Foster’s son Wilde: Foster’s Loss: Sunflowers and the Choice to Feel Pain
• Made Public (14 min short film)
• Waffles (4 min short film)
• Platypus (9 min short film)
• Brick & Mopsie (5 min short film)

You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Arlene Thornton & Associates

Send us Fan Mail

Foster and Cesar sit down for a lighthearted, intimate episode about a surprising parenting breakthrough. Together, they discuss how children actually understand more than we give them credit for, why the question "why?" exhausts parents (and what to do instead), and how treating kids like brilliant humans rather than irrational beings changes the entire dynamic. This episode offers a refreshing perspective on parenting fatigue, the power of contrary actions, and finding those small moments of beauty in the daily grind of raising children. 

In this episode they explore: 

• What happens when you make yourself the "common enemy" in parenting
• The real reason parents hate when kids keep asking "why"
• How one contrary action created an entire day of sibling peace
• The small answer vs. the big answer: What kids actually want to know
• Why siblings don't actually have to be best friends (and that's okay)

If this episode spoke to you, you will love Giving Yourself Flowers where we explore the truth about real self-care. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Jamaal Pittman. You can donate to his scholarship at Wheelerscholarship.com, supporting college enrollment.

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Beauty in the Break, Foster and Cesar share their real-time struggles with breaking through personal barriers in relationships and self-awareness. Foster reveals her pattern of people-pleasing and difficulty knowing what she wants, especially in romantic relationships, while Cesar confronts unexpected impatience that's surfaced as he's achieved more success in his speaking and meditation career. Through vulnerable conversation, they explore how women's intuition gets buried beneath societal conditioning, why men struggle when women can't articulate their needs, and how personal growth requires constantly meeting your partner (and yourself) in new versions as you evolve.

In this episode they explore: 

• Why successful women still struggle to say what they want in relationships
• Men opening doors for women: patronizing or respectful?
• The Buddhist story about success that humbled a meditation teacher
• The difference between releasing your demons and working with them
• Why growth requires meeting your partner again and again in new versions
• The iPhone update theory of human transformation

Episodes referenced: 

• Episode 23: Our Most Uncomfortable Conversation Yet: Money - where we explored the “messy middle” of healing our money issues
• Episode 33: How Psychedelics Changed Our Lives 

If this episode spoke to you, you will love Why It’s Never Equal where we explore gender roles and invisible labor. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Arlene Thornton & Associates

Send us Fan Mail

Today’s episode of Beauty in the Break explores a personal and harrowing story from Cesar’s life, where he recently encountered a past version of himself. Through an intimate storytelling conversation, Cesar reflects on reconnecting with a friend still struggling with addiction, sparking a powerful discussion about survivor’s guilt, transformation, boundaries, compassion, and what it means to move forward without leaving empathy behind. This episode offers honest insight into recovery, self-awareness, emotional responsibility, and navigating relationships after profound personal change.

In this episode they explore:

• Survivor’s guilt after personal healing and growth
• When old friendships mirror past versions of ourselves
• Why healing can feel isolating instead of liberating
• Boundaries without abandoning compassion
• Seeing addiction through the lens of compassion and illness

For more stories like this and good companies you can support, sign up for Cesar’s weekly newsletter Insights That Matter. 

If this episode spoke to you, you will love How to Be a Rebel with Dr. Reid Wilson. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to [email protected] and be sure to follow on Instagram and TikTok. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Receive his newsletter Insights That Matter
• Get guided meditation from Cesar on his website 
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

This episode is brought to you by Jamaal Pittman. You can donate to his scholarship at Wheelerscholarship.com, supporting college enrollment.

Send us Fan Mail