What the HELL Were You Thinking?

Episode 364: We Were Too Damn Cool to Buy the 8 Track Tapes

This week Host Dave Bledsoe drops a quarter in the jukebox to play the sad country songs from his youth, only to be kicked out of the diner for sobbing at the counter. (Again) On the show this week we take a look at the long lost and justifiably detested technology that somehow made Foghat even worse, the 8 Track Tape. (Yeah, who knew that was even possible?) 

Along the way we discover that Dave is no better at keeping a car than he is at keeping a girlfriend. Then we dive right into the life of Bill Lear, the man who made owning a private jet available for just millionaires instead of billionaires. He also ruined America by creating the 8 Track tape. Then we learn the long history of continuous loop tape, which we swear is relevant to the story. (So few things in this show ever truly are!) Then we talk about why the 8 Track was just a blip on our cultural radar compared to other forms of recorded music. (Spoiler Alert: It is because they sucked.)

Our Sponsor this week in the Weltron 2001 Spaceball, an absurd player for an absurd format. We open with a Radio Shack Commercial for Tandy 8 Track Players and close with Brian Setzer whose woman has left him. (Again)

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/1AxWuuhcU4Q

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Wikipedia 8-Track Tape

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8-track_tape

8-Track Tapes Belong In A Museum

https://www.npr.org/sections/therecord/2011/02/17/133692586/8-track-tapes-belong-in-a-museum

Some Help From Debussy For the Hassled Driver

https://www.nytimes.com/1976/01/25/archives/some-help-from-debussy-for-the-hassled-driver.html

The Eight-Track Miracle: 8 Reasons It Failed

https://flashbak.com/the-eight-track-miracle-8-reasons-it-failed-2034/

Wikipedia John Lear

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Lear

Uncited Additional Reading:

https://hackbackpages.com/2018/05/04/damn-that-8-track-it-takes-me-way-back/

https://bestclassicbands.com/8-track-tape-introduction-9-15-155/

https://www.easytechjunkie.com/what-are-8-track-tapes.htm

https://www.goldminemag.com/collector-resources/collectors-corner-the-history-of-the-eight-track-tape

https://www.nytimes.com/1971/04/04/archives/bill-lear-thinks-hell-have-the-last-laugh.html

https://www.nytimes.com/1976/01/25/archives/some-help-from-debussy-for-the-hassled-driver.html

https://bestclassicbands.com/8-track-tape-introduction-9-15-155/

http://www.8trackheaven.com/archive/80s.html

https://www.goldminemag.com/articles/coolness-8-track

https://www.culturesonar.com/the-magical-mystery-8-track-tape-adventure/

https://www.antiqueradios.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=193139

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Show Notes: Special Edition “It’s Later Than You Think”

In the aftermath of the shootings, we will not be running our usual show. This Special Edition talks frankly about what happened, where we are and where it looks like we are going. It is presented without music or drops, and without our usual dick and fart humor. We will not be running a show for next week, a Dowers Boys will run in the feed for Monday morning. Hopefully we will return the following week with a show about 8 Track Tapes, which to date have never been used to senselessly murder 19 children in their classroom.

We understand if you skip this one, we didn’t want to do it either.

Thank you for putting up us with while we try to come to grips with this fucked up country.

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Closing Music: 

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Show Noted Episode 363: “Highway to the Reagan Zone”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries to get a free drink by strongly implying to the bartender that he was “kinda the Air Force version of Maverick from Top Gun”. (Just as when he used it in the 80’s, he crashed and burned) On the show this week we tell the tale of the original Top Gun and how it was pure propaganda for Reagan’s America and not just hot, sweaty, homoerotic volleyball. (HOT!)

Along the way we hear one of Dave’s pick up lines from back in the day and wonder how he ever got laid. (Mostly bad liquor and women with the worst taste in men) Then we dive right into the origins of Top Gun in a magazine article with prose so purple you could stomp it to make wine. (Too sweet, very tannic) Then we meet Don and Jerry who took one look at this badly written article and saw millions of dollars at the box office. We explain how and why the Pentagon got involved (free tickets for the Generals!) and how America primed to get their mojo back by invading a tiny island with no real military on the flimsiest of pretexts. (Turns out the yellow cake they had was just Betty Crocker) Then we explain why the homoeroticism in Top Gun was actually pretty banal.

Our Sponsor this week is the US Military, join up now before the next war! We open the show with Mav and Goose talking about photography and close with Psycostik, who is in a dangerous zoning situation.

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www.whatthehellpodcast.com

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/om0KOWbOkCk

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

TOP GUNS – BY EHUD YONAY

California Magazine, May 1983

http://www.topgunbio.com/top-guns-by-ehud-yonay/

The Pentagon Goes Hollywood

Filmmakers and the military enjoy a profitable partnership

http://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,962933-1,00.html

‘TOP GUN’ BOOSTING SERVICE SIGN-UPS

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1986-07-05-ca-20403-story.html

Tom Cruise Said in 1990 Making a Sequel to Top Gun Would Be 'Irresponsible'

https://gizmodo.com/tom-cruise-top-gun-sequel-playboy-opinion-1986-propagan-1848858326

Uncited Additional Reading: 

http://cecrilouvain.be/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/1CRI-1.pdf

https://americanhomefront.wunc.org/2020-08-17/1986s-top-gun-led-to-a-military-recruiting-boom-will-the-upcoming-sequel-do-the-same

https://entertainment.ie/movies/movie-news/in-defence-of-top-gun-230153/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Gun

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/aug/29/media.filmnews

https://archive.org/details/operationhollywo00robb/page/180/mode/2up

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/25-years-later-remembering-how-top-gun-changed-americas-feelings-about-war/2011/08/15/gIQAU6qJgJ_story.html

https://uccfilmwriters.weebly.com/home/top-gun-a-look-at-film-as-a-product-of-dominant-political-ideology-complete-with-cheap-deals-on-fighter-jets

https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2020/4/4/top-gun-or-prop-gun-the-entertaining-face-of-american-propaganda

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/07/top-gun-infomercial-for-america/619013/

https://www.avclub.com/top-gun-is-the-sleekest-horniest-recruitment-ad-of-the-1843324418

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Show Notes Episode 362: I Did Not SeaMonkey That Coming

This week Host Dave Bledsoe keeps checking the mailbox for his pair of X-Ray Goggles only to be disappointed again. (Honestly, you can just look at porn on the internet, dude) On the show this week we tell you the truly messed up tale of the guy who invented Sea-Monkeys. (No spoilers, but he was a Jewish Nazi!)

Along the way we learn that Dave gets drunk and falls victim to Facebook scams on the regular. (No surprise there!) Then we dive right into the history of how a guy committed fraud against children by selling cheap crap in the back pages of a comic book. Then we discuss the twisted tale of Harold Von Braunhunt, the creator of SeaMonkeys, X-Ray Specs, and ardent Nazi! (Who is also Jewish) We trace the tale of his rise to child scam fame and fall because he sold a weapon he invented to raise money for seditionists. (No one tell Don Jr.) Finally we explain how even after the Nazi part came out, they still did a Saturday morning cartoon about Sea Monkeys.

Our Sponsor this week is X-O Specs, which are not intended for prurient uses and we MEAN it! We open with an ad for Brine Shrimp and close with Jez Quayle who just wants to Monkey around! 

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The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music:https://youtu.be/lOf5AeFAXaw

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Comic Book Rip-Off Ads: Sea Monkeys, X-Ray Specs, And More

https://groovyhistory.com/comic-book-ads-sea-monkeys-x-ray

The Shocking True Tale Of The Mad Genius Who Invented Sea-Monkeys

https://www.theawl.com/2011/06/the-shocking-true-tale-of-the-mad-genius-who-invented-sea-monkeys/

A Brief History of Sea-Monkeys

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/642405/sea-monkeys-history

CONTRASTS OF A PRIVATE PERSONA

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/local/1988/04/25/contrasts-of-a-private-persona/de3976fc-c0b0-4448-8e22-3c6d2edf593e/

HITLER AND THE SEA-MONKEYS

https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2004/hitler-and-sea-monkeys

Uncited Additional Reading:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea-Monkeys

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2000-oct-01-tm-29473-story.html

https://junkee.com/sea-monkeys-brine-shrimp/210801

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/17/magazine/the-battle-over-the-sea-monkey-fortune.html

https://goat.com.au/pop-culture/the-guy-who-invented-sea-monkeys-was-a-literal-nazi/

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Show Notes Episode 361: The Night They Drove Old Disco Down

This week Host Dave Bledsoe digs out his Boogie Shoes, unbuttons his shirt down to his navel and slaps on his gold chains to get down on the dance floor.  And…gets booted out of the Bar Mitzvah where he hoped to score free booze. (Again) On the show this week we head back to The Night Disco Died when a bunch of drunk white dudes got real, real mad about some music they didn’t like. (But liked the people who made the music even less)

Along the way we learn that Dave’s taste in t-shirts has not noticeably improved in 40 years.  Then we dive right into that time when America was getting funky on the dance floor.  (To be fair, most of America was just embarrassing themselves on the dance floor.)  Then we talk about where the music known as disco came from and where it was going. (White dudes thinking they could dance) Then dig into the cultural events that led up to a mid-market DJ stoking white rage in the center field of a crappy Chicago baseball team.  (Not the Cubs, the OTHER crappy Chicago baseball team.)

Our Sponsor this week is Boogie Shoes, don’t try to dance the night away with boring feet blues, get your groove on in Boogies Shoes! We open with news coverage of the night in question and close with Yoni Schlesinger continuing to exist! 

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music:https://youtu.be/d8BLGeEjsfg

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Disco Doesn't Suck. Here's Why.

https://reason.com/2014/05/27/paranoia-at-the-disco/

The "disco sucks" movement and the cycle of white grievance that is still churning

https://signorile.substack.com/p/the-disco-sucks-movement-and-the?s=r

Wikipedia Disco Demolition Night

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disco_Demolition_Night

ESPN Disco and Baseball

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page3/story?page=behrens%2F040809

Disco Demolition: the night they tried to crush black music

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/jul/19/disco-demolition-the-night-they-tried-to-crush-black-music

Time Obscures Meaning of Disco Demolition

https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/mists-of-time-obscure-disco-demolition-meaning/98306/

Uncited Additional Reading: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disco

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/the-flip-sides-of-1979-113608/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Dahl

https://web.archive.org/web/20131230233941/http://www.today.com/id/31832616/site/todayshow/ns/today-entertainment/t/when-disco-sucks-echoed-around-world/#.UsIEV-j7RPY

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/disco-inferno-680390.html

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/flashback-watch-disco-demolition-night-devolve-into-fiery-riot-206237/

https://www.artforum.com/print/199210/critical-reflections-33483

https://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/music/ct-ent-disco-demolition-bee-gees-showtime-1219-20201218-2s3uhxsjsbduvl4kqswnvpswny-story.html

https://www.chicagotribune.com/opinion/letters/ct-letters-vp-122620-20201226-mwdzwwj3erduzkx2hxfzdcvp2u-story.html/www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/the-flip-sides-of-1979-113608/

https://westportlibrary.libguides.com/c.php?g=1087104

4

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Show Notes Episode 360: “Here’s Some Money, Go Buy Yourself A Star War

This week Host Dave Bledsoe proposes a complex system of interlocking free drinks to protect him from needing to pay a bar tab, only to find the technology isn’t there yet. (Because people don’t like him!) On the show this week we talk about the time Ronald Reagan got really excited about a movie and cost the taxpayers 30 billion dollars for his own personal Death Star!

Along the way we learn how Dave stopped worrying and learn to love the bomb! (Yeah, the Jaeger Bomb!) After a quick tour of the Cold War, we dive right into 1983’s Strategic Defense Initiative, a program so technologically advanced, we can’t even do it now! (Or any time in the next fifty years!) We learn how Ronnie conceived of the idea (It really was Star Wars) and instantly figured out how it could help his reelection chances! (So much money for defense contractors!) Then we learn what the rest of the world thought about Star Wars. (Loved the movies, hated the crazy ass space lasers!)

Our Sponsor this week is Moishie’s Space Lasers, made by Jews but fine for goyim to use. We open the show with The Gipper talking crazy and close with the Sky Pipe Choir singing about guns in the sky! 

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www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/yL7Vq6Kf1e0

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

 Citations Needed:  

He Found It at the Movies

How Hollywood films informed Ronald Reagan’s worldview

https://www.bookforum.com/print/2603/how-film-informed-ronald-reagan-s-worldview-23617

A look at President Reagan’s Star Wars program, 33 years later

https://www.wearethemighty.com/mighty-history/star-wars-program-33-years-later/

Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI)

https://www.atomicheritage.org/history/strategic-defense-initiative-sdi

US public opinion generally favors `star wars'

https://www.csmonitor.com/1985/1121/asdi.html

Uncited Additional Reading:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_Defense_Initiative

https://www.history.com/news/reagan-star-wars-sdi-missile-defense

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Show Notes Episode 359: Sleeping in the Wet Spot On Your Waterbed

This week Host Dave Bledsoe asks a fellow bar denizen if she would like to come back to his place for some sloshy sex in his waterbed only to remember when he woke up from being knocked cold (Again) he doesn’t have one anymore. On the show this week we break out our leak kits and patch up the story of America’s moment of sleeping on vinyl bags filled with water. (The story has a lot of holes! Get it?)

Along the way we learn that Dave was the only boy in his school to lay his head on a sex bed, and that his head was the ONLY thing he laid in said bed. (He was a virgin until he was 19!) Then we plug in the garden hose and fill our plastic mattresses with the story of beds from holes in dirt filled with ash and grass to the invention of the worst possible sleep surface ever invented, the waterbed. (Ask anyone who slept on one!) We learned how it was marketed to Baby Boomers for it’s erotic potential only for them to discover the only thing harder than shower sex is waterbed sex. Finally we look at all the reasons people stopped sleeping on waterbeds. (And having sex on them)

Our Sponsor this week is Ben’s Bed Baffles, when the motion of the ocean is too much for your sleep ship, buy some Bed Baffles from Ben. We open with a waterbed ad from the 80’s and close with Ernie Givens and the White Lies Band explaining why your cousins shouldn’t bone on your waterbed. 

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/myIg8U8UuIY

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

The Fascinating Discoveries Of Beds In History

https://www.wallbedsbywilding.com/fascinating-discoveries-beds-history/

The Squishiest, Sweetest Sleep

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/06/style/water-bed-founder.html

The Rise and Fall of the (Sexy, Icky, Practical) Waterbed

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2010/08/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-sexy-icky-practical-waterbed/61426/

NO SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM: 6 WORST PLACES TO HAVE SEX

https://brokeassstuart.com/2012/09/21/no-sex-in-the-champagne-room-6-worst-places-to-have-sex/

WATERBEDS ARE BACK, BUT WILL THEY MAKE YOU BETTER AT FUCKING?

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/waterbeds-are-back-but-will-they-make-you-better-at-fucking

Uncited Additional Reading: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bed

https://www.thespruce.com/the-history-of-the-bed-4062296

https://groovyhistory.com/waterbed-comeback

https://www.businessinsider.com/waterbed-inventor-60s-summer-of-love-comeback-2019-3#:~:text=They%20were%20intended%20to%20help,man%20who%20invented%20the%20waterbed.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/71404/what-ever-happened-waterbeds

https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/waterbed-history-rise-fall-255635

https://www.thelist.com/182636/the-real-reason-waterbeds-disappeared/

https://www.boydwaterbeds.com/waterbed-history

https://www.metv.com/stories/remember-when-waterbeds-were-really-popular

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterbed

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/water-bed-facts_n_6107482

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Show Notes Episode 358: I Simply Cannot Drive Fifty Five

This week Host Dave Bledsoe signs his name on number 24 when the bartender says “Boy, I won’t serve no more” and finally pays down his bartab. (One of them anyway) On the show this week we take you back to 1974 when America had to step on the brakes, at least if there was a cop around, because the National Speed Limit was now Fifty Five Miles Per Hour.

Along the way Dave answers the one question everyone had about his time as a cop. (Sadly it was not who thought Dave should ever have that kind of responsibility in the first place.) Then we settle in for a little long form math problem. (Don’t worry it isn’t on the test) From there we dive right into the history of speed limits. (The Man has been harshing our fun for a LONG time!) Then we learn how Richard Milhouse Nixon came to sign a bill mandating we all drive slower. (Why? Reasons.) And how everyone in America decided “nah, I don’t wanna” and drove as fast they wanted to anyway. (#Freedom) Finally we learn what happened so that America could finally step on the damn gas. (We are pretty sure it was Sammy Hagar)

Our Sponsor this week is Tesla Stealth Coat, a car wax that reduces your over priced penis compensation’s radar profile so that you can speed with impunity. Does it work? Shut up and buy it because Elon said so. We open the show with wise words from the Ad Council and close with Banshee who can’t…well I think by this time we all know what they can’t do.

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/Ksx8ipx0sZo

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Did '55' Save Lives? How The National Speed Limit Failed

https://groovyhistory.com/55-mph-speed-limit

Wikipedia National Maximum Speed Law

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Maximum_Speed_Law#Enactment

85% of Drivers on Interstates Are Speeders

https://www.nytimes.com/1989/05/07/nyregion/85-of-drivers-on-interstates-are-speeders.html

Uncited Additional Reading:

https://mises.org/wire/what-failed-55-mph-speed-limit-law-tells-us-about-covid-lockdowns

https://onlinepubs.trb.org/Onlinepubs/trr/1976/567/567-010.pdf

https://www.michigan.gov/documents/mdot/RR410UNIV_65_536774_7.pdf

https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/nixon-signs-national-speed-limit-into-law#:~:text=As%20part%20of%20his%20response,U.S.%20appetite%20for%20foreign%20oil.

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