What the HELL Were You Thinking?

Show Notes Episode 512: Granny Are You OK?

Part 4 of Spooktacular 2025

This week Host Dave Bledsoe was arrested for setting up a moonshine still next to the Loch in Central Park, he claimed he was merely celebrating his people’s culture.  (Sure, Dave) On the show this week we wrap up Spooktacular 2025 99 Problems But A Witch Ain’t One with America’s own Granny Witches! 

Along the way we discover Dave’s complicated relationship with his grandmother. (It’s complicated) Then we head over to Northern Ireland for only LOOKS like a digression, before heading back to the New World with the folks that used to live in Northern Ireland.  We follow the Scotch Irish as they head west into the mountains and create a culture that is both complex and fully hillbilly. Then jump ahead to modernity where some people pretend they know how to cure the gout with a hogs tooth and henbane. (Use rectally) Finally we wrap up the entire Spooktacular with Dave explaining in fact, a witch WAS one of his ninety-nine problems.

Our Sponsor this week is Cleetus and Boggs Holler Real Estate, don’t dig a new hole where the old outhouse was, you call Cleetus and Boggs.  We open with Liz Pardue talking Holler Magick and close with Van Izak who knows it’s strictly taboo. 

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/evxVrtftylU?si=X1EUVLDzYCdqxZ7J

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

Appalachian Folk Magic: Generations of “Granny Witchcraft” and Spiritual Work

https://folklife.si.edu/magazine/appalachian-folk-magic

Byron Ballard keeps Appalachian folk magic practices alive

https://mountainx.com/living/wellness/byron-ballard-keeps-appalachian-folk-magic-practices-alive/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 511: Something Wiccan This Way Comes

Part 3 of Spooktacular 2025

This week Host Dave Bledsoe was arrested at the Lizard Lounge in Bohemia for getting hammered, stripping off all his clothes and proclaiming he was performing Witchy Woman by the Eagles “skyclad”. (Again) On the show this week we look at the state of modern witchcraft when we talk about the Wiccans.

Along the way we learn that Dave DID try not be a godless heathen. (Just not very hard.) Then we dive right into that time the Romans did some Roman shit to people in what would become Wales. (Somehow, this IS relevant) before coming back to talk about an English Post Clerk who decided that pretending to believe in witchcraft might get him laid. (Unfair and untrue, Gerald was probably ACE) Then we follow the rise of Wicca as a religion as it spread around the world in the 70s until it exploded in the late 90s. (Alyson Hannigan was just so damn cute!) We explain how Wicca got popular then Hollywood made it suck and how Wicca is today.  Finally, Dave explains why he isn’t a Wiccan. (They kicked him out of the coven for being too eager to get Skyclad.)

Our Sponsor this week is Coven FInder,because a coven of one isn’t a coven at all! We open with Nat Geo explaining Wicca and close with Liam St John is risking himself with the Three Fold Law.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/7yDf0nYJCf4?si=YOka_JgYWuWRl1Bz

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

The Consequences Roman Contact Had on British Religion

https://druidry.org/resources/the-consequences-roman-contact-had-on-british-religion

What is Wicca? A Beginner’s Guide to the Wiccan Religion

https://wiccaliving.com/what-is-wicca/

Wiccan Views on Sex

https://discover.hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Wicca-For-Beginners-Wiccan-Views-on-Sex

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 510: “Smack My Witch Up”

Part Two of Spooktacular 2025

This week Host Dave Bledsoe got drunk and lost in a Haunted Corn Maze and terrified an entire Church Group when he stumbled out without any pants. (Again) On the show this week the Spooktacular takes us to witch panics and trials throughout history. (Modern included)

Along the way we learn Dave considered himself a victim of witch hunt because he was accused of trying to sleep with college age women. (Which he was definitely doing.) Then we move right into the Protestant Reformation, which reformed Europe into a WHOLE bunch of brutality wars. (Not that they needed an excuse.) Then we dig into how random old women with skin conditions were accused of sexual liaisons with demons all over Europe and America.  (Warts are a demon turn on) We turn to the colonies to learn how and why Salem was a hot bed of witch activity and why it stopped. (Religion and Money.  Spoiler alert.) Finally we examine the status of witch hunts today.

Our Sponsor this week is Turgidson and Smythe, Barristers of Witches, for not every hag is, in truth, a witch. We open the show with a visit from the Witchfinder and close with The Gitarinet Duo who are disciplinarians. 

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/s7oxOEa4ZbY?si=lKswHO7E6b4uRq6k

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

Witchcraft and the Reformation

https://tudorblogger.com/2013/05/02/witchcraft-and-the-reformation-2/

Wikipedia: Witch Hunt

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_hunt

The ‘Malleus Maleficarum’: Ancient book offers ways to identify a witch

https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/malleus-maleficarum-ancient-books-offers-ways-identify-witch/B5PRVNGF3BF2JAPEEC4YRM6HGE/

A brief and true narrative of some remarkable passages relating to sundry persons afflicted by witchcraft at Salem village, which happened from the nineteenth of March to the fifth of April, 1692 collected by Deodat Lawson.

https://quod.lib.umich.edu/e/eebo/A49794.0001.001/?view=toc

SALEM WITCHCRAFT TRIALS: THE PERCEPTION OF

WOMEN IN HISTORY, LITERATURE AND CULTURE

http://facta.junis.ni.ac.rs/lal/lal201001/lal201001-01.pdf

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 509: Shaman Me? Shaman You!

This week Host Dave Bledsoe visited the Old Wise Woman at the edge of the village for herbs that would help him experience enlightenment.  (Meaning he bought some weed at an unlicensed dispensary.)

Along the way we learn that Dave was scared by an old lesbian when he was a kid.  (Lesbians are nothing to be afraid of!) Then we dive right in by dispelling some myths about the matriarchy.  From there we explore the role of the shaman in pre-history and how they were much more than just some dudes with horned masks and good weed. (A lot of them had shrooms as well!) We discuss how the tribal shaman became the village healer once humanity settled down to an agrarian lifestyle and how important they were in society for over a thousand years.  We wrap up with why they went from a vital part of rural life to demonic sin peddlers.  (Yep, it was capitalism!)

Our Sponsor this week is the Herb Hut, don’t cast your spells without us! We open with Christine O’Donnell who wants us to know she isn’t a witch and close with Armen Chakmakjian who wonders if maybe she is. 

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/H2OgKpcvMYw?si=69jc_XHyoJSCqVD1

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

The Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory

https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/first/e/eller-myth.html

The Evidence of Shamanism Rituals in Early Prehistoric Periods of Europe and Anatolia

https://dergipark.org.tr/tr/download/article-file/1715302

History of magic in Western worldviews

https://www.britannica.com/topic/magic-supernatural-phenomenon/History-of-magic-in-Western-worldviews

What is Cunning Craft and who are Cunning Folk?

https://medium.com/@crystalcavendish/what-is-cunning-craft-and-who-are-cunning-folk-993102962a01

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 284-285 Redux Mega-Mix “The Rendlesham Forest UFO Incident”

We are off this week prepping for Spooktacular 2025 so enjoy this double episode megamix from 2020 about that time in the 80s some Air Force cops lied about seeing a UFO to cover their asses after getting caught fucking around on post.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/H2OgKpcvMYw?si=69jc_XHyoJSCqVD1

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed: 

Rendlesham Forest Incident

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rendlesham_Forest_incident

New Light on Rendlesham

https://drdavidclarke.co.uk/secret-files/secret-files-4/

The Rendlesham Forest UFO Case

http://www.ianridpath.com/ufo/rendlesham.htm

The Rendlesham Forest UFO Case by Ian Ridpath

http://www.ianridpath.com/ufo/rendlesham.htm

New Light on Rendlesham

https://drdavidclarke.co.uk/secret-files/secret-files-4/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 508: “John’s Detachable Penis”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe woke up screaming after a bender to find a red mess and half a weiner on his lap, only to discover he passed out while eating a hot dog. (What kind of monster puts ketchup on a hot dog?) On the show this week we discuss a similar situation that ended much worse, we talk about John Bobbitt’s detached penis and why Americans thought it was funny!

Along the way we discover all the ways Dave has been a disappointment to the women in his life. (Starting with his Mom) Then we dive right in clarifying the difference between regular old castration and emasculation. (Never say we don’t tackle the hard topics!) Then we met John and Lorena, a couple of kids, who met, fell in love and discovered that was a really BAD idea.  After delicately weaving around some fairly gruesome subjects we arrive at why Americans thought a dude’s dong landing in a 7-11 parking lot was so funny. (We are terrible people) Then we wrap up with something that might be considered a metaphor for modern times.

Our Sponsor this week is Total Package Protection, never have a penis without it. We open with Eddie Murphy (again) talking about why dick threats aren’t funny and close with Dr Bootyu Quiver who is looking for something.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/H2OgKpcvMYw?si=69jc_XHyoJSCqVD1

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

Lorena Bobbitt and John Bobbitt: The True Story Behind The Case That Played Out Like a Soap Opera

https://www.insideedition.com/lorena-bobbitt-and-john-bobbitt-true-story-behind-case-played-out-soap-opera-50706

You Know the Lorena Bobbitt Story. But Not All of It.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/30/arts/television/lorena-bobbitt-documentary-jordan-peele.html

John Bobbitt speaks out 25 years after wife infamously cut off his penis: 'I want people to understand… the whole story'

https://abcnews.go.com/US/john-bobbitt-speaks-25-years-wife-infamously-cut/story?id=60023049

Letterman Top 10 1994

https://www.oocities.org/jaylipp/Letterman/topten94.html

Severance Pay

https://www.maryellenmark.com/bibliography/magazines/article/people/severence-pay-637521259802825072/P

He's not wounded by the humor

https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1993/12/21/he-s-not-wounded-by-the-humor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spooktacular 2025 kicks off in October! All month long we talk about Witches! The good ones, the bad ones, the ones who dress all sexy and drive Dave wild! So join us for a month of MORE WITCHES than you could imagine for Spooktacular 2025!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 507; Tito Get Me Some Tissue

This week Host Dave Bledsoe passed out at a petting zoo and woke up making out with a llama.  (It was the closest he came to getting laid in years.) On the show this week take a look at the oddities and eccentricities of the King of Pop .  (Yes, we DO talk about THAT, but we do not make any jokes.)

Along the way we discover that Dave was not the most bullied kid in school. (Only because of that one kid that ate other people’s boogers.) Then we dive into a short history of musicians behaving badly from Mozart's poop poems to Jerry Lee Lewis trying to kill Elvis.  Then we pick up with Michael as his career cools off and people start to notice how weird he is. (Like who wears one glove?) We follow along as Mike collects animal\ friends, builds an amusement park, turns white and gets a new nose every two years. (We guess he was leasing?) Then we discuss his dating, his marriage, and finally that other thing he allegedly did. (But probably definitely did) Before we wrap up with his sad but predictably bizarre ending.

Our Sponsor this week is Ron’s Rhinoplasty, don’t like the nose on your face, get a new one to take its place.  We open with MJ being mad at Ed and close with Eve St Jones who wants to hear what you have to say.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/s4VORb6BSt0?si=Bw-u0uyIxQh6KgSx

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

Five of the Craziest Classical Composers

https://www.tumblr.com/thestarvingpianist/137229986238/five-of-the-craziest-classical-composers

The Mayo Clinic: Vitiligo

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vitiligo/symptoms-causes/syc-20355912

Why Freddie Mercury never finished three duets with Michael Jackson — and it involves a llama: ‘The last straw’

https://nypost.com/2025/04/28/entertainment/why-freddie-mercury-never-finished-3-duets-with-michael-jackson-it-involves-a-llama/

Inside Michael Jackson's zoo of horrors - giraffes on fire and bear in bumper car

https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/inside-michael-jacksons-zoo-horrors-26809558

Center for Great Apes: Bubbles

https://centerforgreatapes.org/chimpanzee/bubbles/

Surgeon: Michael Jackson A 'Nasal Cripple'

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/Cosmetic/story?id=131910&page=1

Lisa Marie Presley was engaged 5 times and married 4 times. Here is what to know about her relationships with Michael Jackson, Nicolas Cage and other husbands.

https://www.businessinsider.com/lisa-marie-presley-marriages-michael-jackson-nicolas-cage-danny-keough-2023-1

Wikipedia: Philanthropy of Michael Jackson

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philanthropy_of_Michael_Jackson

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 506: Shamone Now

This week Host Dave Bledsoe won third prize in a “Moonwalking” competition when he lost his balance trying to get up to take a piss and stumbled backward across the stage. (It was a $10 Gift Certificate to Hardees) On the show this week it is part one of a two part show about the biggest pop star of the 80s, Michael Bolton. (We kid, we are talking about Michael Jackson!)

Along the way we find out that Dave once thought he was gay because he accidentally liked Michael Jackson’s music. (He had a very sheltered childhood) Then we dive into a brief history of Motown for script reasons before, and speaking of sheltered childhoods, we meet the Jacksons.  (All dozen of them) We follow the rise of young Michael from his childhood parental abuse to the pinnacle of cultural dominance before the age of 30 years old. (Can’t imagine why Mike turned out the way he did). We talk about this music, the videos, the cultural impact and the world fell in love with him.  We do NOT talk about the weird stuff.  (We’re saving that for NEXT week!)

Our Sponsor this week is Sequin Hut, all we sell is sequins, which was a pretty bad business choice.  We open the show with the news about Thriller and close with Gipsy Danger inquiring about Annie.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/NU4LsUPWZxI?si=iDcOK-3X5buMjkhP

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

Wikipedia: The Motown Sound

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motown#Motown_sound

Joe Jackson was one of the most monstrous fathers in pop

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2018/jun/27/joe-jackson-one-of-the-most-monstrous-fathers-in-pop

Michael Jackson’s 1987 Cover Story: ‘The Pressure to Beat It’

https://www.spin.com/2014/06/michael-jackson-bad-1987-cover-story/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 505: Thanks For Your Support

This week Host Dave Bledsoe tried to impress an age appropriate woman by telling her he was in a wine cooler commercial, only to have his feelings hurt when she asked if played Bartles or Jaymes. (Ouch!) On the show this week we look back at that time when America was crazy about low rent Sangria in a bottle, only they called it a wine cooler.

Along the way we discover that Dave lost his virginity much later in life. (Probably in his late 40s) Then we take a look at why Americans started worrying about their fitness (Boomers turned 30) and how advertisers used it to make money. (By selling them alcoholic fruit juice.) Then we meet the man who “invented” the wine cooler and ask the hard questions. (What does Lodi California have to do with “fun beach drinks”?) We met the two men who personified the wine cooler industry in the 80s and their direct connection to the election of Ronald Reagan. (He is EVERYWHERE) Finally, we learn why no one drinks wine coolers anymore. (That is on the first George Bush.)

Our Sponsor this week is Super Happy Fun Booze, it only LOOKS like we are marketing it to kids! We open the show with a Canadian worrying about underage drinking. (We thought Canadians drank beer at birth!) and close with Weird Paul and his drink order.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq

Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/0-dKNMYc1dg?si=ffvU_9dF9ziI-Wsb

Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop

Citations Needed:

Michael Crete: Local boy becomes cooler king

https://www.lodinews.com/opinion/columnists/rich_hanner/article_99f6ddd1-9598-5bf2-8cae-bdc762fce2bd.html

The Weird and Wavy History of Wine Coolers

https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-weird-and-wavy-history-of-wine-coolers/

Wikipedia: Bartles and Jaymes:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartles_%26_Jaymes

WHO ARE BARTLES AND JAYMES? ONLY ERNEST, JULIO KNOW FOR SURE

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/1986/09/27/who-are-bartles-and-jaymes-only-ernest-julio-know-for-sure/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices