What We Were Never Taught: Relationships, Marriage & Family — From Parenting Doctors

There is a time to comfort.  There is a time to Instruct.  There is a time to Correct.  The distinctions are important for healthy parenting, on this week's parenting podcast.  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Welcome to the Summer!  It's summertime!

Successful families average a minimum of FOUR family dinners per week during the summer.  

Instead of, "How was the day?" "Fine."  

Let's engage in meaningful dialogue.  3 P's: Positive parents prepare!  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Kids, preteens, and teens face all kinds of stressors nowadays.  Safety from violence, getting enough to eat, single parent households, domestic violence and so many others are some of the real stressors American children face.  

Then there are those stressors that have changed over the last 10 years.  Trends show that stressors have taken on an entirely new look that previous generations never faced.  This podcast highlights major stressors that are new to this generation and we identify key tools that families need to equip their young people with in order to adequately cope with today's stressors.  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

There are several aspects to separation anxiety.  Sometimes finding a child psychologist or a counselor who specializes in anxiety and attachment issues can be of great help for a family.  

This podcast focuses on one unique angle.  After talking with over 100 mental health practitioners in El Paso, Texas and Albuquerque and Santa Fe, New Mexico this week, one of the things that comes up frequently is how parents may reinforce some particular anxieties.  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Humility, Rules & Principles to Live by, & The Beauty of Motherhood: Happy Mother's Day!

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Shifting attention is another pillar of happiness.  I provide a number of interesting research ideas on how allocating attention is more critical than actually experiencing positive events.  Two major areas can be discussed for parents and families: allocating attention and being in the present.  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Is there meaning in video games?  Kids using video games excessively end up with quick analytical skills and reflexes, but lack communication skills, have few bonds with people, exhibit little empathy, and show minimal self-control.  

A metaphor for managing video games is considering the effects of high fructose corn syrup (HSFS), which has shown to be more addictive than cocaine.  Like the food industry, billions of $ have been spent on everything from music in the games to specific types of reinforcement, all to make players want to spend as much time playing the game.  Education of how GTA, 5 Nights with Freddy, and Fortnight ought to include how company facilitate addiction.  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Building Optimism in Teenagers requires 5 steps.  The goal is to learn how to deal with setbacks with optimism.  Some of my greatest failures helped me to reinterpret and view setbacks optimistically.  I share some of those at the end of today's podcast.  

The main focus of today's podcast is to help teens see setbacks and disappointments not as permanent, but temporary, not as pervasive, but specific, and not as personal (or pathological - "this is an imminent catastrophe"), but as empowering.  Building optimism is a very important cognitive skill.  So, I describe in detail the kinds of exploratory questions that can help teens process through their experience.  

Gone are the days of just letting teens wallow in pain and "then they will get over it."  You know - soon they will come out of their room.  No, the research is clear that we can help people more than that.  Of course, give them time, but finding ways to promote the reflective life can build optimism.  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

I'm back from a trip through Illinois speaking to psychologists, counselors, social workers, marriage & family therapists, teachers, speech pathologists, and occupational therapists.

Today's podcast focuses on building mindfulness skills for teenagers.  Research shows that our attention is on something other than what we are doing 1/2 of our awake time.  We live in a culture that reinforces rushing, restlessness, multi-tasking, speedy information, quick fix instagram, snapchat quick drops, and sleep deprivation.  One of the things young people (and all of us) need is mindfulness.  Mindful attention, mindfulness grounding, mindful eating, and taking time.  

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Specific, Not Terrific Technique

Kids don’t have to be perfect.  Parents don’t have to be perfect.  We all make mistakes, we all come up short.  It’s helpful to communicate directly to kids that they don’t have to be terrific.  We just want them to be specific.  If you use the phrase, “You are a terrific kid!” Great.  Absolutely use that phrase.  What I am talking about is communication.  Communication is specific, doesn’t have to necessarily be terrific.  The goal is to be specific, not terrific.  There are several goals when it comes to be disagreeing - the key is being specific.

See Dr. Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20