What Will Be Here?

TRANSCRIPT: Safe-Subscriptions from Savannah are your key to workplace and life safety. Triple S provides up to the minute medical support from our range of safety products, including walkways, airbag vests, and cranial protection devices. With remote access to Savannah authorized doctors and built in first aid services, 3S products will keep you alive and ready to work. Call your Savannah agent today for more information about your safety options. [sped up] Safe-Subscriptions from Savannah are charged at 7:00 am UTC on the first of each month. Failure to pay within 3 minutes will result in the service being immediately suspended and all services will become non-functional. Savannah is not responsible for any injury or loss of life sustained as a result of failure to pay. 3S subscribers are encouraged to use the Riverpay system to avoid such injuries. Wearable airbag technology prices are tied to your insurance rate and are subject to activation costs at the time of accident.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written and recorded by Brad Colbroock. Produced by Tal Minear.

Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co. Social Media is WhatWillBeHere on Twitter and Instagram.

TRANSCRIPT: Busy working your Savannah job twelve and a half hours each day? Savannah offers free childcare for all employees! We’ll entertain, educate, and improve them. Your child will play with Savannah-Safe toys, be provided with healthy Savannah-Brand meals, and learn all about Savannah Industries! Before you know it, they’ll be teaching you about the company. Savannah Day Care: raising tomorrow’s future today.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written by Tal Minear. Recorded by Cole Burkhardt. Produced by Tal Minear. Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co. Social Media is WhatWillBeHere on Twitter and Instagram.

TRANSCRIPT: Savannah Band is the most popular choice in wearable tech on the market today! At first glance a simple ring, but there much more under the surface. With top of the line GPS technology, Savannah Band will alert you when you exit any Savannah-Safe Protectorate. And if you lose your Savannah Band, it can be easily relocated with your tablet, watch, or phone. With fingerprint matching technology, nobody else will be able to wear your Savannah Band. A micro-microphone embedded in the diamond informs you of shifts in tone that others may find alarming, enabling you to avoid negative conversations and keep that Savannah Smile™. Now available as couples wedding rings! With our patented partner features, you can get daily reports on the happiness of your spouse, a weekly breakdown of most visited locations, and an algorithmic percentage of the likelihood of infidelity! Take on love and life with the Savannah Band.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written, recorded, and produced by Tal Minear.

Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co. Social Media is WhatWillBeHere on Twitter and Instagram.

TRANSCRIPT: Find your true love with Savannah Soulmates, the new dating app for all the number one fans of Gaut Nocoeur. Bond over your mutual appreciation of the world’s first quadrillionaire. Share your favorite Savannah inventions with each other. Discuss the latest company announcements. Enjoy special discounts on dates organized through the app and a priority reservation at your local Savannah cathedral. Registration is permanent and circumventing the app may result in salary or employment changes down the line. Savannah Soulmates: You can’t spell Love without Savannah.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written by Tal Minear. Recorded by Brad Colbroock. Produced by Tal Minear.

Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co. Social Media is WhatWillBeHere on Twitter and Instagram.

TRANSCRIPT: For the past 60 years, Savannah has provided North America with high quality services and products for everything from plumbing problems; painting supplies; noise cancellation for local inhabitants; cleaning and cremation services; customized jewelry creation from the blood of your employees; and the future of the countertop toasters. Savannah will continue to provide these products and services for the next 60 years and beyond, expanding our reach from North America to the wider globe. Recent efforts to shut down our interplanetary communication network will not succeed. Our systems are robust and sustainable, and all downtime is only temporary. Thank you for your patience during this short outage. Rest assured, all responsible parties have been dealt with. Savannah: Ask yourself what will be here. We already have.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written by Brad Colbroock and Tal Minear. Recorded by Caroline Mincks. Produced by Tal Minear.

Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co. Social Media is WhatWillBeHere on Twitter and Instagram.

TRANSCRIPT: We here at The Savannah Food and Drug Alliance strive to bring you the best in meat, rubber, and meat-like products. Our scientists have recreated the farm-to-table hometown feel with products like our 3-D printed Savannah pancakes; our technically-baked, bioengineered bread; and our genetically-modified free range salmin. We cater to a range of diets, including those high in benzodiazepines and ChyClo. We offer discounted catering on a four-tier system - the first, for mandatory gatherings in large groups, the second for corporate meetings, the third for home entertaining, and the fourth for individual meals. You’re sure to enjoy a tasty Savannah Shake on your break during your long, hard working day. Savannah Food will provide you the energy needed for the 15-hour shifts! The 20-hour shifts! Even the thirty-six hour shifts! Call your nutritionist today to discuss plans and pricing. Bon appetit! [sped up] The SFDA is not responsible for injuries resulting from any of our products and cannot be held liable for injuries caused as a result of consuming them. The use of French does not constitute an acknowledgment of the Government of France or any of its respective territories as a sovereign state. [Superspeed] These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written by Brad Colbroock and Tal Minear. Recorded and Produced by Tal Minear.

Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co.

TRANSCRIPT: Congratulations on your induction to Savannah Industries legal team. As you’re surely aware, Savannah Industries oversees Savannah Inc, Savannah Industries LLC, The Savannah Group, The Savannah Food and Drug Alliance, Savannah Medecine, Savannah ARMS, Grassland Media, Savannah Space Sciences, and all their respective subsidiaries. You will be working in our customer relations unit, which makes sure that Savannah corporations are always on the right side of the law. While our lobbying department handles the government side of things, the CRU deals with local law enforcement to make sure all fines are properly doled out and that Savannah’s assets are properly set up to minimize (not to prevent) injury and death. Remember, a person is only a customer until they become a lawsuit. Press next to continue your onboarding process.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written, Recorded, and Produced by Brad Colbroock.

Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co.

TRANSCRIPT:

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written by Brad Colbroock, Recorded by Ali Hylton and Tal Minear. Produced by Tal Minear.

Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co.

TRANSCRIPT: Pesky tenant’s rights holding you back? Unsatisfied with how often you can enter your renter’s apartments? Savannah has the solution. Introducing Luthor for Landlords and Other Property Managers. Luthor for Landlords and Other Property Managers makes it easy to set up and manage the Savannah Smart Home Experience throughout your buildings. You can create special commands to make your residents pay rent, confirm submitted maintenance requests, and alert you in the case of unauthorized guests. Luthor for Landlords and Other Property Managers will also allow access to all Savannah Cams installed on the property so you can check in on what’s happening in your units with our Pop By feature. Make sure this feature is installed on all smart devices before the leasing period starts. Savannah: looking out for landlords.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written by Brad Colbroock, Recorded and Produced by Cole Burkhardt.

TRANSCRIPT: It’s time to get your DNA evaluated by our team of Savannah Specialists. Sign up for your free test kit to be delivered to you today! Our medical professionals will acquire a sample of your DNA in under 3 minutes! It can be as easy as a swab, but for accurate results, we prefer blood! Your results will be analysed and sent back to you in under a week! We will provide a detailed report on your ancestry, health, well-being, and potential productivity to the Company, along with suggestions for your ideal diet, our preferences for your sexual compatibility, and your aptitude for Savannah short term employment. The benefits are numerous! Simply say to your Sav-unit “Sascha, I’d like DNA testing” and we will be on our way. Your DNA is important - to both of us. :)

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written by Brad Colbroock and Tal Minear, Recorded and Produced by Tal Minear.