To make sure McDonald's Pizza does not fall victim to rising fast food costs, I test a plan to secure a cheap pizza crust supply chain by fishing them out of dumpsters.

After careful consideration, I have decided not to run for president of the United States, and I contact my journalist colleagues to let them know why.

Upon further review and contact from the KFC corporation's legal team, I issue some retractions and clarifications about statements I made concerning the KFC Chizza.

As KFC is poised to introduce a monstrous chicken/pizza hybrid product called the Chizza, I arrange to care for the poor victims who may be affected.

I go undercover to investigate the mysterious success of McDonald's Italy's pizza-like novelty called the panzerotti.

I tell the tale of my visit to The View and the unfortunate encounter I had with Ms. Whoopi Goldberg.

On the anniversary of the publication of the second edition of my board game, I suffer a medical emergency while comparing my game to a popular competitor called Monopoly.

I incorporate a new company, Panoply Polling (a wholly owned subsidiary of Pizzaply Polling), to call people on the telephone and ask their opinions of McDonald's Pizza.

At the risk of exposing personal details about the health of my bodily person, I reveal the reason why this episode of the program was delayed.

On my paranormal-themed sub-podcast Crust to Crust AM, I investigate the connection between McDonald's experimental new beverage restaurant CosMc's and extraterrestrials from outer space.