While visiting a famous painting of a woman in gold, I was surprised to discover the galerie offered no information about this painting's relation to the McDonald's Golden Arches.

Upon learning a certain social media mogul might want to use my book to train his artificial intelligence, I endeavor to ban him from purchasing said book at his local bookseller.

Concerned about who will inherit my investigative journalism empire, I pursue the possibility of cloning my own heir.

With McDonald's removing self-serve soda machines from their dining rooms, I call upon an expert in the art of jerking soda to explore the idea of the old-fashioned soda jerk making a return to the pubic sphere.

I am joined by my colleague, journalist Jason Koebler of 404 Media, who shares with me his reporting on the potential of hacking McDonald's McFlurry machines and other McDonald's equipment such as mainframe computers storing pizza secrets, etc.

Waning interest in superheroes means McDonald's is about to dump massive amounts of unsold Loki Season 2 branded sweet n' sour sauce into our fragile environment. I inform the authorities.

I officially announce my relocation to New York City, a.k.a. Pizza Town, USA, and set up a briefing with one of the area's top officials: the honorable Mayor Eric Adams.

With the podcasting industry in financial ruins, I reclaim the abandoned trademark for the Panoply Network and reinstate my program as one of its flagship titles.

Continuing my investigation into the disappearing items on the McCafe bakery menu, I travel to my local McDonald's to find some answers. And perhaps, to make a new friend.

McDonald's has pulled McCafe Bakery items from their menu. Is this history repeating itself? No, but I go undercover as a long haul truck driver to get to the bottom of it anyway.