There are moments in foster care that no training prepares you for.

The phone call from your caseworker. The quiet conversation at the kitchen table. The look on a child’s face when they learn that someone they love—someone from their first family—is gone.

A foster mom in my community recently reached out to me with this exact situation, and it reminded me how isolating these moments can feel. You’re navigating something incredibly heavy, often without a roadmap, and wondering if you’re doing it right.

I want to share some guidance that I’ve gathered from fellow foster parents, trauma-informed resources, and conversations with families who have walked this road. Not as someone who has all the answers, but as someone who believes we’re better when we learn together.

If you’re facing this right now, take a breath. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to show up.

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