Big news first: we’re taking a short breather so we can come back strong on December 2 with Season Three of Behind the Curtain. While we pause, we’re pointing you to two powerful replays and a brand-new support that can change the daily rhythm for foster and adoptive families.

We start with a listener favorite: a candid look at foster care through the eyes of Brianna, a former foster youth, alongside her case manager. It’s raw, grounded, and deeply human, offering a window into what healing looks like over time—how trust is rebuilt, where systems help and harm, and what consistent adults can do to make a difference. Then we move to the school front with a practical breakdown of IEPs and 504 plans. If you’re navigating evaluations, meetings, or behavior plans, this episode turns jargon into steps, gives you language for advocacy, and explains how trauma-informed supports fit into real classrooms.

We’re also excited to share a new resource at Haven: our Family Advocate position. If you’re overwhelmed by school processes or unsure how to find local services, the Advocate helps you navigate IEPs and 504s and connects you with community programs that already exist but are hard to find. Think of it as a guide who knows the map and walks it with you. If you would like more information, email [email protected]. And, for foster and adoptive moms who need true rest, mark your calendar for our therapeutic retreat in Jacksonville, Fl, February 20–22, 2026—registration opens mid-December.

We’ll meet you back here on December 2 with fresh stories, practical tools, and a steady reminder that you’re not alone. 

Kate Angelo shares her transformative journey from foster care to bestselling author, revealing how small interventions changed her life trajectory and shaped her mission to help others heal from trauma.

• Experiencing stability when a friend's family took her in through an independent living program after facing placement in a group home
• Developing survival mechanisms that protected her during childhood trauma but required adjustment in adult relationships
• Navigating triggers from past trauma, including physical reactions to certain sounds and movements
• Creating communication strategies with her husband to break toxic cycles and build understanding
• Working through nonprofit ministry to strengthen marriages and prevent family breakdown
• Using fiction writing to explore themes of trauma, healing and redemption through her book "Girl Lost"
• Emphasizing that trauma doesn't define identity and healing is possible through understanding our true purpose

Find Kate's book "Girl Lost" at major retailers and learn more about her nonprofit work at her website. Subscribe to Kate's newsletter to receive exclusive content including deleted scenes from her books.

This is part two of Kate's powerful story on Behind the Curtain. Go back and listen to part one here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2401115/episodes/17808468

Links to Kate Angelo's Book Forsaken:

https://kateangelo.com/forsaken/

Pre-Order Girl Lost Here:

https://kateangelo.com/girl-lost/

In part one, Kate Angelo shares her extraordinary journey from a chaotic childhood with exotic pets, parental kidnappings, and neglect to finding purpose after aging out of foster care.

• Former foster youth who became a bestselling author and now runs a nonprofit for strengthening marriages and families
• Grew up in extreme chaos with exotic pets including a lion, bobcat, and monkey while experiencing neglect
• Experienced trauma including witnessing her stepfather's murder and her grandmother's suicide
• Was "parentified" at age 12, driving and working to support younger siblings while her mother was absent
• Made the difficult choice to enter foster care as a teenager when given the opportunity
• Struggled with abandonment when her mother took her siblings back to Texas but left her alone in foster care
• Uses her experiences to help others develop healthy relationship skills through her writing and nonprofit work

This is part one of Kate's powerful story on Behind the Curtain, with part two coming in the next episode.

Links to Kate Angelo's Book Forsaken:

https://kateangelo.com/forsaken/

Pre-Order Girl Lost Here:

https://kateangelo.com/girl-lost/

Brianna Groah and her former case manager Kinsey Howell share the raw reality of foster care from the perspective of a child who lived through it. With honesty and vulnerability, they reveal what makes the difference between mere survival and genuine healing in the system.

• Life before foster care included living in tents in the Florida woods after fleeing CPS in West Virginia
• The trauma of removal and placement in eight different foster homes over five years
• Why Bri intentionally sabotaged relationships with foster families as a loyalty test
• The critical moment when Brianna realized she could love her adoptive family without betraying her biological mother
• How case manager Kinsey became the one constant in Bri's life by simply showing up consistently
• The importance of giving foster children space rather than forcing immediate connection
• Why open adoption and sibling relationships remain complicated but vital
• How Bri's adoptive moms created safety through understanding rather than punishment

If you're a foster or adoptive parent, remember that giving your child space to process emotions in their own way is often the most healing gift you can offer. The path to attachment isn't forced—it's earned through consistent presence and understanding.

Educational advocate Trina Middleton shares her 30+ years of special education experience to help parents navigate the complex world of school advocacy for children with special needs, particularly in foster and adoptive families.

• Recognizing red flags in struggling students: lack of motivation to learn, resistance to reading, and inability to complete homework independently
• The importance of early intervention—waiting until third or fourth grade creates wider learning gaps
• Understanding the "Response to Intervention" (RTI) three-tier system of support
• Differences between 504 plans and IEPs (Individualized Education Plans)
• Learning the language of advocacy through Department of Education websites, other parents, and tools like ChatGPT
• Parent rights in the IEP process, including requesting meetings, reviewing data, and participating in goal-setting
• Federal protections including "free and appropriate public education" (FAPE) and limits on suspensions
• The value of bringing an advocate to meetings and maintaining positive relationships with school staff
• How to request and review data tracking to identify patterns in behavior and learning
• Setting meaningful goals that address the child's actual needs rather than accepting generic "banked" goals

Your child's diagnosis doesn't change who they are. Knowing only helps you advocate and opens doors for the interventions and services that will ultimately take your child to their full potential.

The Jantoyas, Elizabeth Janssen and Lisa Montoya, share their journey as best friends, foster and adoptive moms, and tireless advocates for children in the foster care system. They discuss how their friendship formed over fostering challenges and evolved into a community-building partnership that supports other foster families while creating meaningful change.

• Elizabeth has 14 children (5 biological, 9 from foster care with 8 adopted)
• Lisa has 5 children (2 biological, 3 adopted - 2 from foster care, 1 private adoption)
• They met through a "blind date" set up by someone in the foster care system
• Their friendship extends to their husbands, creating crucial support for the whole family
• They formalized as "the Jantoyas" to share resources and support other foster families
• They provide food and support to vulnerable communities beyond their own homes
• They share expert strategies for navigating school IEPs and accommodations
• They developed a system for kids to create self-advocacy pamphlets for teachers
• They discuss the difference between trauma-aware and trauma-informed approaches
• They emphasize the importance of community in sustaining foster care journeys

This episode is Part 2 of Rebecca's conversation with Tammy Pulsifer. Here is the link to go back and listen to Part 1: Part 1 with Tammy Pulsifer

Tammy Pulsifer, Director of Community Engagement at Safe Families for Children Tallahassee, shares how their organization builds support systems for vulnerable families to prevent children from entering foster care. The conversation explores the profound isolation that leads to foster care placement and how Safe Families creates communities of support for parents in crisis.

• Safe Families provides a "circle of support" for families who have no one to call during crises
• Children enter foster care when parents have absolutely no support network to help them
• The organization helps parents develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills rather than creating dependency
• Trauma affects how people respond to challenges - what appears as simple to some may be overwhelming for others
• Family coaches help parents set achievable goals while volunteers provide practical support
• Small "1% changes" compound over time to shift the trajectory of families' lives
• Safe Families operates in 42 states and 3 countries, with various ways to volunteer
• Children in foster care experience PTSD at 2-3 times the rate of veterans returning from war

Visit safe-families.org to learn how you can get involved in your state.

Tammy Pulsifer, Director of Community Engagement at Safe Families for Children in Tallahassee, shares how their organization prevents children from entering foster care by supporting families in crisis through community intervention and radical hospitality.

• Born to missionary parents and raised internationally in Guam, Saipan, Korea, Hawaii, and England before settling in Tallahassee
• Found purpose through local philanthropy work before joining Safe Families in 2021
• Safe Families creates "circles of support" around families experiencing temporary crises like housing instability, job loss, and mental health challenges
• The organization focuses on strengthening the entire family unit rather than separating children from parents
• Volunteers provide practical support including respite care, mentoring, and resource connection
• Personal suffering creates deeper compassion and empathy when supporting vulnerable families
• Churches can better support foster families through practical help like childcare, house cleaning, and emotional support
• One success story involves helping a single mother of seven transition from crisis to becoming a teacher and approaching homeownership

Loryn Smith brings 30+ years of child welfare experience as owner of Finally Home Christian Adoption Services, sharing her journey of fostering 120 children and adopting many into her family.

• Service without sacrifice is a counterfeit
• Being faithful is our responsibility; outcomes belong to God
• Finding freedom in being "just a character" in God's bigger story
• Relationships with children matter more than their achievements
• Living in today rather than worrying about tomorrow
• Creating community with people who understand your challenges
• Evicting unhelpful thoughts that rent space in your mind
• Redefining success beyond cultural expectations
• Hard circumstances reveal where grace meets self-sufficiency
• The goal is to hear "well done, good and faithful servant"

Connect with us at behindthecurtainpodcast.com to continue the conversation about foster care and adoption. Follow us on social media for more resources and encouragement.

Rebecca and Olivia explore the concept of "trying softer" and how loosening our grip on control can transform our lives, especially in the demanding world of foster care and adoption.

• Recognizing when we're trying too hard from a place of insecurity or fear of being "found out" as not good enough
• Understanding how our tendency to meet everyone else's needs often comes at the cost of our own wellbeing
• Examining the difference between authentic presence versus performing or dissociating
• Learning that sustainable care means acknowledging our limits and practicing self-care
• Discovering what it means to "unclench our fist" from trying to control outcomes
• Finding joy in activities without productivity goals attached
• Practicing radical acceptance of circumstances we cannot change
• Recognizing that showing up authentically has more value than perfect performance

I hope that you enjoy this conversation, and that it helps you work through how we can loosen our grip on control and try a little bit softer in our worlds.