Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption

In part two of two, we explore authoritative parenting as a blend of warmth and structure that forms character for the long game. Faith and research meet in practical steps that build trust, align kids with reality, and make the teen years a joy rather than a warning.

• greeting rituals that prioritize presence over logistics
• using fewer words to lower defensiveness and increase responsiveness
• humor as connection that supports timely correction
• creating buffer zones like car rides for debrief not discipline
• aligning kids with reality through natural consequences
• treating lying as a trust issue with repair and restored freedom
• trust as the currency that expands autonomy in teen years
• tailoring authority to readiness, not age, and coaching growth
• why authoritative parenting suits trauma, ADHD, and high-demand needs
• staying in community with schools while resisting over-rescue
• repairing quickly and parenting toward the future adult

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

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In part one of two, we explore kind, authoritative parenting for foster and adoptive families, weaving research, faith, and real-life practice into a clear path that balances warmth with firm guidance. Rachel Medefind shares how discipline means training for growth, not punishment, and why community and mindset shape outcomes.

• what authoritative parenting is and is not
• warmth plus discipline as twin levers for growth
• the four parenting styles and long-term outcomes
• why “discipline” equals training, not punishment
• TBRI as a helpful tool within kind authority
• research from Baumrind and Christian Smith
• faith, formation, and limited purpose of authority
• community as a stabilizer for stressed parents
• mindset shifts toward growth and releasing outcomes
• consistency with flexibility in daily practices

Come back next week for part two.

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

In this episode, we explore foster parenting advice and adoption resources through the story of a neighbor's crisis that led to adopting two teens. Mary shares her transition from a career police officer's mindset to trauma-informed parenting, revealing the challenges and rewards of becoming an adoptive family. Listen to how they moved from emergency foster care to adoption, emphasizing foster care advocacy, attachment, and the power of community support and therapy guidance. This episode highlights practical wins and sustainable hope for caregivers navigating the complex journey of foster care and adoption.

In this episode, we cover:
• noticing red flags across the street and stepping in
• compartmentalizing as a cop clashing with trauma needs
• one month of emergency care moving toward TPR
• faith, foster care, and deciding on adoption for teens
• learning attachment, repair, and that 30% is good enough
• releasing outcomes and lowering the pressure cooker
• practical wins with car rides, routines, and apologies
• deep wounds healing slowly and rewards arriving rarely but powerfully
• community support, therapy guidance, and sustainable hope

Subscribe, rate, and share Behind The Curtain to help more families find honest adoption stories

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

In this episode of 'Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption,' we explore essential soul care for foster and adoptive caregivers experiencing burnout. We share honest stories of exhaustion, striving, and the simple spiritual practices that help restore strength, encourage rest, and sustain leadership from a full cup. Michael Mitchell guides listeners through breath prayer, welcoming prayer, benevolent detachment, and practical ways to stay present amid caregiving challenges.

Listeners will learn about the Cup Principle and signposts of a thriving soul, ways to honor unique rhythms of receiving, and prayer as a powerful tool for listening and emotional release. Techniques such as breath prayer for quick resets, naming difficult emotions without shame, and benevolent detachment are highlighted as vital foster parenting advice for emotional resilience.

This episode also offers centering prayer practices, practical anchors tailored for busy caregivers and leaders, alongside recommended books and adoption resources designed to support caregivers' sustainable soul care journey. Whether you’re a foster parent, adoptive family member, or caregiver advocate, this conversation provides compassionate support for caregivers navigating the complex world of loving children from hard places.

In this episode, you will find:

• the cup principle and signs of a thriving soul
• rhythms of receiving shaped by your unique wiring
• prayer as listening, silence, and movement
• breath prayer for 30-second resets
• welcoming anger and naming emotions without shame
• benevolent detachment to release what you cannot carry
• centering prayer as a thousand returns to God
• practical anchors for busy caregivers and leaders
• books and resources to build sustainable soul care

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

Two friends pull back the curtain on what a Guardian ad Litem does, why the role matters, and how one steady volunteer can change a child’s case. Andrea shares training, time commitment, school advocacy wins, and the power of speaking for the child alone.

• what a guardian ad litem or CASA is and does
• training, background checks, and virtual court workflow
• time commitment of 12 to 15 hours per month
• how to investigate when stories conflict
• advocating for reunification visits with safety in view
• teaming with attorneys and case advocate managers
• securing IEPs and school services through trust and persistence
• being the most consistent adult through placements and turnover
• better outcomes with a GAL: stability, graduation, fewer referrals
• how to volunteer and where to get started

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

Big news first: we’re taking a short breather so we can come back strong on December 2 with Season Three of Behind the Curtain. While we pause, we’re pointing you to two powerful replays and a brand-new support that can change the daily rhythm for foster and adoptive families.

We start with a listener favorite: a candid look at foster care through the eyes of Brianna, a former foster youth, alongside her case manager. It’s raw, grounded, and deeply human, offering a window into what healing looks like over time—how trust is rebuilt, where systems help and harm, and what consistent adults can do to make a difference. Then we move to the school front with a practical breakdown of IEPs and 504 plans. If you’re navigating evaluations, meetings, or behavior plans, this episode turns jargon into steps, gives you language for advocacy, and explains how trauma-informed supports fit into real classrooms.

We’re also excited to share a new resource at Haven: our Family Advocate position. If you’re overwhelmed by school processes or unsure how to find local services, the Advocate helps you navigate IEPs and 504s and connects you with community programs that already exist but are hard to find. Think of it as a guide who knows the map and walks it with you. If you would like more information, email [email protected]. And, for foster and adoptive moms who need true rest, mark your calendar for our therapeutic retreat in Jacksonville, Fl, February 20–22, 2026—registration opens mid-December.

We’ll meet you back here on December 2 with fresh stories, practical tools, and a steady reminder that you’re not alone. 

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

Kate Angelo shares her transformative journey from foster care to bestselling author, revealing how small interventions changed her life trajectory and shaped her mission to help others heal from trauma.

• Experiencing stability when a friend's family took her in through an independent living program after facing placement in a group home
• Developing survival mechanisms that protected her during childhood trauma but required adjustment in adult relationships
• Navigating triggers from past trauma, including physical reactions to certain sounds and movements
• Creating communication strategies with her husband to break toxic cycles and build understanding
• Working through nonprofit ministry to strengthen marriages and prevent family breakdown
• Using fiction writing to explore themes of trauma, healing and redemption through her book "Girl Lost"
• Emphasizing that trauma doesn't define identity and healing is possible through understanding our true purpose

Find Kate's book "Girl Lost" at major retailers and learn more about her nonprofit work at her website. Subscribe to Kate's newsletter to receive exclusive content including deleted scenes from her books.

This is part two of Kate's powerful story on Behind the Curtain. Go back and listen to part one here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2401115/episodes/17808468

Links to Kate Angelo's Book Forsaken:

https://kateangelo.com/forsaken/

Pre-Order Girl Lost Here:

https://kateangelo.com/girl-lost/

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

In part one, Kate Angelo shares her extraordinary journey from a chaotic childhood with exotic pets, parental kidnappings, and neglect to finding purpose after aging out of foster care.

• Former foster youth who became a bestselling author and now runs a nonprofit for strengthening marriages and families
• Grew up in extreme chaos with exotic pets including a lion, bobcat, and monkey while experiencing neglect
• Experienced trauma including witnessing her stepfather's murder and her grandmother's suicide
• Was "parentified" at age 12, driving and working to support younger siblings while her mother was absent
• Made the difficult choice to enter foster care as a teenager when given the opportunity
• Struggled with abandonment when her mother took her siblings back to Texas but left her alone in foster care
• Uses her experiences to help others develop healthy relationship skills through her writing and nonprofit work

This is part one of Kate's powerful story on Behind the Curtain, with part two coming in the next episode.

Links to Kate Angelo's Book Forsaken:

https://kateangelo.com/forsaken/

Pre-Order Girl Lost Here:

https://kateangelo.com/girl-lost/

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

Brianna Groah and her former case manager Kinsey Howell share the raw reality of foster care from the perspective of a child who lived through it. With honesty and vulnerability, they reveal what makes the difference between mere survival and genuine healing in the system.

• Life before foster care included living in tents in the Florida woods after fleeing CPS in West Virginia
• The trauma of removal and placement in eight different foster homes over five years
• Why Bri intentionally sabotaged relationships with foster families as a loyalty test
• The critical moment when Brianna realized she could love her adoptive family without betraying her biological mother
• How case manager Kinsey became the one constant in Bri's life by simply showing up consistently
• The importance of giving foster children space rather than forcing immediate connection
• Why open adoption and sibling relationships remain complicated but vital
• How Bri's adoptive moms created safety through understanding rather than punishment

If you're a foster or adoptive parent, remember that giving your child space to process emotions in their own way is often the most healing gift you can offer. The path to attachment isn't forced—it's earned through consistent presence and understanding.

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

Educational advocate Trina Middleton shares her 30+ years of special education experience to help parents navigate the complex world of school advocacy for children with special needs, particularly in foster and adoptive families.

• Recognizing red flags in struggling students: lack of motivation to learn, resistance to reading, and inability to complete homework independently
• The importance of early intervention—waiting until third or fourth grade creates wider learning gaps
• Understanding the "Response to Intervention" (RTI) three-tier system of support
• Differences between 504 plans and IEPs (Individualized Education Plans)
• Learning the language of advocacy through Department of Education websites, other parents, and tools like ChatGPT
• Parent rights in the IEP process, including requesting meetings, reviewing data, and participating in goal-setting
• Federal protections including "free and appropriate public education" (FAPE) and limits on suspensions
• The value of bringing an advocate to meetings and maintaining positive relationships with school staff
• How to request and review data tracking to identify patterns in behavior and learning
• Setting meaningful goals that address the child's actual needs rather than accepting generic "banked" goals

Your child's diagnosis doesn't change who they are. Knowing only helps you advocate and opens doors for the interventions and services that will ultimately take your child to their full potential.

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/