LessWrong (30+ Karma)

“When Both People Are Interested, How Often Is Flirtatious Escalation Mutual?” by johnswentworth


Listen Later

Here are two models of “the norm” when it comes to flirtatious escalation, assuming both people are in fact interested:

  • “Mutual Escalation”: both people go back-and-forth making gradually more escalative moves. One might tend to escalate first, but the other will at least match escalation level.
  • “Active/Passive”: one person makes roughly all of the escalative moves. The other person passively approves/disapproves, and the active participant tracks their approval when deciding to dial up/down.

Multiple people (including agree-votes and offline) have told me that the first is most common. Multiple people (including agree-votes and offline) have told me that the second is most common.

What I really want to know is:

  • Conditional on mutual interest, what are the relative frequencies of these two kinds of flirtatious escalation?
  • Are there particular settings/cultures/etc in which those frequencies are very different?

These are both fairly difficult questions to answer, because of [...]

---

Outline:

(01:54) Some Priors

(02:47) Some Data

(04:22) Some Better Answers?

---

First published:

September 2nd, 2025

Source:

https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/dpfYKEC2NijExZQQ6/when-both-people-are-interested-how-often-is-flirtatious

---

Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

LessWrong (30+ Karma)By LessWrong


More shows like LessWrong (30+ Karma)

View all
Making Sense with Sam Harris by Sam Harris

Making Sense with Sam Harris

26,387 Listeners

Conversations with Tyler by Mercatus Center at George Mason University

Conversations with Tyler

2,423 Listeners

The Peter Attia Drive by Peter Attia, MD

The Peter Attia Drive

8,524 Listeners

Sean Carroll's Mindscape: Science, Society, Philosophy, Culture, Arts, and Ideas by Sean Carroll | Wondery

Sean Carroll's Mindscape: Science, Society, Philosophy, Culture, Arts, and Ideas

4,149 Listeners

ManifoldOne by Steve Hsu

ManifoldOne

92 Listeners

Your Undivided Attention by The Center for Humane Technology, Tristan Harris, Daniel Barcay and Aza Raskin

Your Undivided Attention

1,584 Listeners

All-In with Chamath, Jason, Sacks  Friedberg by All-In Podcast, LLC

All-In with Chamath, Jason, Sacks Friedberg

9,833 Listeners

Machine Learning Street Talk (MLST) by Machine Learning Street Talk (MLST)

Machine Learning Street Talk (MLST)

89 Listeners

Dwarkesh Podcast by Dwarkesh Patel

Dwarkesh Podcast

489 Listeners

Hard Fork by The New York Times

Hard Fork

5,470 Listeners

The Ezra Klein Show by New York Times Opinion

The Ezra Klein Show

16,072 Listeners

Moonshots with Peter Diamandis by PHD Ventures

Moonshots with Peter Diamandis

534 Listeners

No Priors: Artificial Intelligence | Technology | Startups by Conviction

No Priors: Artificial Intelligence | Technology | Startups

133 Listeners

Latent Space: The AI Engineer Podcast by swyx + Alessio

Latent Space: The AI Engineer Podcast

96 Listeners

BG2Pod with Brad Gerstner and Bill Gurley by BG2Pod

BG2Pod with Brad Gerstner and Bill Gurley

508 Listeners