Eamon Dolan severed his relationship with his abusive mother when he was in his 40s. He had endured her physical and psychological violence as a child and later her emotional cruelty as an adult. He had tried to lay down some ground rules to prevent her from hurting him, but she broke them all so he broke off all contact.

On this week’s episode, Eamon Dolan tells us what it took to cut ties with his mother. His new book, The Power of Parting, is about how child abuse undermined him well into his adulthood and how estrangement, while difficult, set him free.

He says that society is overly protective of the family as the ideal unit, putting too many abused children at risk for a life of psychological pain and physical ailments. He argues that the mental health community over-values connection when disconnection is the right thing to do.