
Sign up to save your podcasts
Or


When gym leaders stay silent, people get hurt. In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan, Stephan Kesting, and Jesse Walker speak with guest Sonia Sillan of Combat Arts Academy about what happens when Jiu-Jitsu coaches fail to protect their students. Together, they unpack the culture of silence in martial arts, the myth of “mat enforcers,” and how real leadership means building safe spaces and speaking up when it matters most.
Combat Arts Academy — https://caaseattle.com
Sonia Sillan on Instagram — @combatartsacademy
⸻
👥 Featuring:
Hosts:
Steve Kwan — @bjjmentalmodels
Stephan Kesting — @stephankesting
Jesse Walker — @roughhandsbjj
Guest:
Sonia Sillan — @combatartsacademy
⸻
🧠 Topics Discussed:
• Why coaches must speak up about abuse
• The dangers of “mat enforcer” culture
• How to teach emotional regulation on the mats
• Creating a trauma-informed beginner program
• Breaking silence and rebuilding trust in Jiu-Jitsu
⸻
📖 Chapters:
00:00 Introductions & Gym Culture
04:20 Why Jiu-Jitsu Needs Beginner Programs
09:45 The Myth of Mat Enforcers
16:00 Emotional Regulation and Rolling Intensity
27:00 Speaking Up to Power
33:40 When Coaches Fail Their Students
36:45 Handling Abuse and Reporting It
44:00 How to Build Safe Gym Culture
53:00 Gaslighting and Victim Blaming in Jiu-Jitsu
1:10:00 Leadership, Integrity, and Doing What’s Right
By Fighting Matters5
1717 ratings
When gym leaders stay silent, people get hurt. In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan, Stephan Kesting, and Jesse Walker speak with guest Sonia Sillan of Combat Arts Academy about what happens when Jiu-Jitsu coaches fail to protect their students. Together, they unpack the culture of silence in martial arts, the myth of “mat enforcers,” and how real leadership means building safe spaces and speaking up when it matters most.
Combat Arts Academy — https://caaseattle.com
Sonia Sillan on Instagram — @combatartsacademy
⸻
👥 Featuring:
Hosts:
Steve Kwan — @bjjmentalmodels
Stephan Kesting — @stephankesting
Jesse Walker — @roughhandsbjj
Guest:
Sonia Sillan — @combatartsacademy
⸻
🧠 Topics Discussed:
• Why coaches must speak up about abuse
• The dangers of “mat enforcer” culture
• How to teach emotional regulation on the mats
• Creating a trauma-informed beginner program
• Breaking silence and rebuilding trust in Jiu-Jitsu
⸻
📖 Chapters:
00:00 Introductions & Gym Culture
04:20 Why Jiu-Jitsu Needs Beginner Programs
09:45 The Myth of Mat Enforcers
16:00 Emotional Regulation and Rolling Intensity
27:00 Speaking Up to Power
33:40 When Coaches Fail Their Students
36:45 Handling Abuse and Reporting It
44:00 How to Build Safe Gym Culture
53:00 Gaslighting and Victim Blaming in Jiu-Jitsu
1:10:00 Leadership, Integrity, and Doing What’s Right

439 Listeners

373 Listeners

429 Listeners

403 Listeners

4,618 Listeners

15,597 Listeners

1,770 Listeners

239 Listeners

579 Listeners

1,259 Listeners

231 Listeners

50,115 Listeners

176 Listeners

10,893 Listeners

2,284 Listeners