Hi. I'm Jennifer Woosley Sailor. I'm a licensed professional clinical counselor and the kid of a cop. And this is the podcast when the call hits home. Hey, everyone. It's Ashlee Gethner. I'm a licensed clinical social worker, and I'm also a child of a police officer.
Hi. Welcome back to when the call hits home. I'm Jennifer Woosley Sailor, licensed professional clinical counselor, and I'll actually be holding down the fort today by myself. My wonderful co host is off today, and she is very much missed. Ashlee, you're the best, but it's just me today. Excited to introduce our guest. It's Halloween, so this will be a little bit of a mystery guest with us today. And so I kinda wanna start by just saying how I met you.
Would that be okay if that's how we got started?
Mystery Guest [00:00:54]:
Yeah. It's been a long time.
So my parents had my grandmother come and stay with me when I was really little. I was just turned 3 and, living my best life because I was getting spoiled by my grandmother. And then I went and met my parents at the hospital, and they showed me this room with all these little babies, and supposedly one of those was you. And so that's the first time I met you. Do you remember this at all?
Mystery Guest [00:01:21]:
I don't remember. You don't
remember that at all. Okay. Well, I'm excited to have
Mystery Guest [00:01:25]:
said it runs your life, though, as a result.
Mystery Guest [00:01:26]:
It's it's been trying. It's been trying for sure. But I definitely wanna protect your privacy, and so we're not gonna use names and stuff. But our, listeners will get to use some deductive reasoning.
Mystery Guest [00:01:38]:
Skills. I know time is valuable. You got planes to catch and all that kind of stuff. So I just wanna kinda jump in and ask, was there ever an initial experience that you had that you realized your parent was a first responder? So kind of initial thing that said, hey. My parent does this for a living.
Mystery Guest [00:01:59]:
I don't think there was ever initial, with it. I think it was just always a part of it and identified with it. I mean, I think me and US kids always plan at the, police gym was a big thing. So it's just kinda you always kinda had that probably every because I think every social activity I remember as a kid, which she kinda don't see as much with things as was tied to that. Her FOP was, you know, the social hangout. Softball was all, you know Right. Props. Everything had that tie in.
Mystery Guest [00:02:33]:
So, I don't I don't know if there's just one thing I've hit, and it was just it was everything. It was all our life. And, like, I mean, Christmas, where we had the Christmas, I think, FOP had the Santa Claus thing and the video thing. So everything was tied to that. And, you know, I I think it's a it was a good thing that maybe in the larger size, see, you don't see anymore, and I think we're fortunate of that. I mean, every friend that, you know, outside of school was in a lot of ways, I guess, you know, family and stuff like that was was usually tied to that of some cop that he noticed, some unit, and then you just always go into, you know, the office. You know? It was always there, and then other people's kid there after after playing a police gym. So maybe, they needed to probably maybe better
Mystery Guest [00:03:13]:
health childcare centers. But Right.
Mystery Guest [00:03:17]:
There was always that element of running around.
Mystery Guest [00:03:21]:
The FOP bar wasn't a place where children should be the whole time. Is that No.
Mystery Guest [00:03:27]:
Mystery Guest [00:03:28]:
I remember we played no. They wouldn't give you quarters
to each other. Actually playful. Could you imagine if we were given pool sticks? We'd be sharks.
Mystery Guest [00:03:37]:
Probably in the Olympics now. But, yeah, I remember just rolling the you'd be lucky if they'd let you roll the balls around it, but at the very least, she always had the, like, cue ball to throw from 1 end to the other. Mhmm. That was probably the height of the entertainment. So it was kinda like rights of pass. Not rights of passage for Saturday, but, like, you had a holiday party and Christmas party in the winter, and then you always had some like, the Turner's thing, like the big outdoor thing.
Mystery Guest [00:04:01]:
snow is just kinda always yep.
Mystery Guest [00:04:04]:
And that was always a thing, and then you always had, I think for me, Martin, more than you, there's always I think you went to a couple, but I went to way more of, like, softball and, like, kind of, date more the big one, but there's always drama left. So there were kinda you took at these, like, community things with it. So I think you kinda missed a little bit of the actual, so that was just part of the community aspect, and then, yeah, always going by the office and stuff like that. And and then knowing that the schedule's kinda different from them compared to other people and, you know, other friends, you kinda realize that as well.
Mystery Guest [00:04:35]:
think bringing up that aspect of community, I didn't think about that. Like, I can remember Doug come in and, like, in his uniform at, like, career day at school. Did he ever do that?
Mystery Guest [00:04:45]:
You have that. Yeah. That's that's I mean, there was that I don't even remember. I just, like, pick up often.
Mystery Guest [00:04:50]:
Mystery Guest [00:04:50]:
Because he was in I mean,
Mystery Guest [00:04:51]:
I guess, when we were really young,
Mystery Guest [00:04:54]:
I remember was the what's the was it what's the viewpoint there that used to have downtown? The Belle Belle East, like, work that beach?
Mystery Guest [00:05:02]:
Bellevedere. That's what I thought, but
Mystery Guest [00:05:03]:
that didn't sound right. But, yeah, the Bellevedere, and he used to walk that. And I remember that was, like, probably the last time. I remember him as on the beat as much, but that was uniform. And then, yeah, he'd have different kind of things where and it was always kind of a special thing when he had that. It was had to be, like you know? And then he kinda went to plain coat clothes after that, so it's a little bit different. But, yeah, I mean, even, like, always you know, my dad talked to safety a little, which I I do appreciate, but, I mean, there was always a gun in between the you know, in the car when he was in his his undercover car, like, in between the feet. You knew it was always there out.
Mystery Guest [00:05:38]:
And I think, dad's credit, he was very, like, how to how to use it, be safe, and, like, not touch it.
Well, so do you remember that? Like, do you remember any, like, firearm safety kind of stuff?
Mystery Guest [00:05:49]:
I remember dad. I don't know
Mystery Guest [00:05:51]:
how old I was, but probably younger than I should have been, but I guess it's good in the long run. He, I think he showed me how to, like, clear it out in our, like, yard. I mean, I mean, not you know, I never built the ground and kinda showing how it kinda worked in there and, you know, that kinda and probably later on, we'd go, you know, to the family farm and actually shoot, like, a personal, but I think that was kind of a big thing. But even with the firearm piece, I think with that, I mean, this is kind of a tangent. But I remember our neighbors, like, I guess their son had passed away, and they, like, they brought over some, like, rusty. I told us somehow dad would know because of that. And I I think it also shows that neighbor of, like, police do kinda have all the hats, but and, you know, unfairly and probably not for the best of time that they wear so many hats. But, yeah, even that, like, your neighbor is
Mystery Guest [00:06:42]:
going like, oh, here's this.
Yeah. No. I don't remember that. Sorry. I do remember the neighbors reaching out with certain things.
Mystery Guest [00:06:50]:
Yeah. So that's a good point. I like that. What are maybe some unique experience that you had that were part of of your parents' job?
Mystery Guest [00:07:00]:
You I think the unique the biggest one that stands out is I don't think a lot of people realize, like, that. Obviously, there's good benefits and pay well. There's, like, you know, it's a decent, but I think the whole, like, what's off duty or, like, the off duty pay, and I'm totally blanking on what it's called. You know? But, like, that is its whole other side in Australia, especially for police. I I guess everyone kinda has it to a room. I think police has a security element. Again, like
Mystery Guest [00:07:27]:
Mystery Guest [00:07:28]:
Off duty off duty in policing. That that makes sense. Like, that's a whole thing. And then, like, that is, like, a big thing that, you know, they have to do to kinda make money on the side, and and I think that's a big part of it. And it's, you know, put it again, but also less time you know, you have a stressful job, and you have to do this other thing to kinda make extra money, and that's, you know I mean, not to play with your family and all that, I'm sure as well. But you do it in a way to support your family. But, anyways, so the off duty piece, he always worked football games, and, you know, I'd always get to be on the sideline for games. I guess the biggest one since I was a kid when the, Navy Ram, like, picked me up or whatever that I always was, like, a big I think I had that for, like, years of kind of experience to get to play with a mascot of little kid, and I think that play stands out the most of, like
Mystery Guest [00:08:15]:
Mystery Guest [00:08:16]:
Being the kid on the it's not like you always get it. You know? Like, you know, it's kinda funny even if your if your dad was a, you know, whatever, big rich, big guy, or color community. He can probably get you, you know, courtside or whatever, but that could get got me behind the, access, which I think was pretty cool at the time. Yeah. But then again, you know, everything you probably do it so much you don't appreciate. Right.
Mystery Guest [00:08:39]:
Mystery Guest [00:08:39]:
Right. Well, I appreciate that, and that is a great story and definitely a benefit sometimes is that off duty. But I like how you kinda incorporated it as well as saying, like, well, you know, there's a everything has a cost equation too. You know?
Mystery Guest [00:08:54]:
Yeah. I guess you don't think about it because it's such a part of the job that you don't, and now you're older. You're like, that was like a part time job.
Mystery Guest [00:09:03]:
I don't think I mean, there's probably a lot to that from the individual as well as, like, you know, having to have a part time job. We all know even if it was whatever it was, like, that's gonna affect your other money, and now they consider it like that's gonna affect your relationships and just time because you only got so much of that. So especially when you're doing shift work into that. You know? Like, that has to be difficult. You know? And even when you're you know, when when dad was playing clothes and probably a little more investigative role, you gotta think that takes a that's a very important more mental job, but then you still have to do the classic policing job where people think of, like, security at a football game or concert or something like this.
Mystery Guest [00:09:46]:
I think that is a lot of things. We we don't always think about that, but it's just a part of it that's, like, kinda unwritten.
Yeah. Exactly. Well and to think about too, like, the executive functioning skills of managing all of that and as well as there's only so many hours in the day. And so, you know, where you might go to be, like, providing for your family, it also takes time away from your family. So it's a lot to manage
Mystery Guest [00:10:11]:
for sure. Exactly. And, you know, that's that's the vacation home for some people, and and they start and then some of them pay more than their other hourly, so you gotta see there's some conflict there as well. So
Mystery Guest [00:10:22]:
Mystery Guest [00:10:22]:
But, yes, it's very taxing, but it's just part of it. And I don't know. I don't know if I have answered how to solve it.
Well, I I just appreciate your experience. I mean, that's what we're really here for is just to talk about those experiences for you.
Mystery Guest [00:10:35]:
Oh, I thought we're solving all the problems.
That's the next episode. That's the next episode. Are there any ways that you feel your childhood was different than your peers because you were a child of a first responder? So anything that kinda differentiated your experience in childhood?
Mystery Guest [00:10:52]:
I think there was the I mean, I think we talked about earlier just like you did have a little special access. And I guess also other parents would interact differently with how they thought.
