Have you ever lashed out at a partner or loved one in a way that felt completely out of character—mean, aggressive, or explosive—only to feel immense guilt afterward? You aren't "crazy," and you might not be the problem. In this episode, we dive deep into the often-misunderstood concept of Reactive Abuse.

We explore how prolonged manipulation and emotional pressure can push even the calmest person to their breaking point. More importantly, we discuss how primary abusers weaponize these reactions to play the victim. Join us as we break down seven actionable strategies to regain your composure, spot the early warning signs in your body, and reclaim your peace in chaotic environments.

Key Takeaways

· What is Reactive Abuse? Understanding that your explosive reaction is a survival mechanism, not a character flaw. It is a response to consistent gaslighting, invalidation, and provocation.

· The Dog Analogy: A helpful metaphor to understand how a "good dog" can be pushed to snap after being antagonized, and how the instigator often escapes blame.

· Listen to Your Body: Learning to recognize the physical cues of being "emotionally cornered" (chest tightness, clenched jaw, shallow breathing) before you explode.

· 7 Strategies to Break the Cycle:

· "Reactive abuse doesn't start with your reaction. It starts with their provocation. You stop reactive abuse by controlling your environment, controlling your responses... and controlling your peace."

Emotional 5 Day Detox: https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/5-day-emotional-detox

Narcissists No More: Measure Your Magnetic Pull Checklist:

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/narcissists-no-more

This is part of my story. How I was and still am a people pleaser - but with some adjustments!

Being people pleaser can be a way we get our needs met, how we stay safe and connected to people, but it can also deplete us and create internal resent.

I share part of my healing journey and found ways to manage my guilt and doubt in making decisions that consider me. This journey helped me develop my own sense of identity but being able to listen means we need to really hear what our gut is telling us. Lovingly say no is the best way to manage the guilt and still get what you need - your own voice!

My unscripted (and uncomfortable new way of developing that muscle of sharing of myself) people pleasing realignment.

Schedule a 15 minute consult for more information on the Group Coaching Program and get on the waitlist: https://fourseasonscounselling.janeapp.com/

Emotional Detox 5 Day Audio Series: https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/5-day-emotional-detox

This episode delves into the pervasive yet often invisible world of gaslighting. While frequently mentioned in casual conversation, many don't fully grasp its insidious nature, especially within intimate relationships. Gaslighting is presented as a dangerous form of psychological abuse, characterized by quiet manipulation rather than overt conflict. The episode aims to equip listeners with a clear understanding of what gaslighting looks like, how it impacts one's well-being, and its ultimate manipulative purpose.

At its core, gaslighting intentionally makes a person doubt five fundamental aspects of themselves: their memory, emotions, judgment, perception, and ultimately, their sanity. This manipulation is a slow erosion, akin to water dripping on a stone, subtly altering one's reality over time. The podcast outlines various "faces" of gaslighting, including denying reality ("You're imagining things"), flipping the script to turn the victim's valid concerns back on them, minimizing the victim's pain and feelings, and using confusion as a weapon to shut down conversations and discredit the victim's perspective.

The underlying purpose of gaslighting, often difficult for empathetic individuals to comprehend, is not seeking resolution but rather establishing control, obedience, emotional dominance, and access to vulnerability. It's about possession, not partnership. The episode also details common symptoms for those being gaslit, such as constant confusion, guilt, nervousness, walking on eggshells, and emotional drainage. The path to healing begins with recognizing these patterns, trusting one's own intuition, and reconnecting with supportive relationships, as gaslighting's true aim is to make you stop believing your own truth.

Have you ever felt pushed, poked, and provoked until you finally exploded, only to be told you're "the problem"? In this crucial episode, we expose the silent manipulation known as Reactive Abuse. We validate your experience: you are not crazy, unstable, or toxic for reacting to constant emotional attacks. Instead, you're a human being pushed to your breaking point by someone who deliberately manufactures chaos. We'll unpack the profound impact this cycle has on your sanity, self-worth, and sense of identity, helping you understand why your reactions are a symptom, not the cause, of the dysfunction.

We dive deep into the narcissist's playbook, revealing how they strategically escalate, dismiss your feelings, twist your words, and weaponize your natural emotional responses. Learn to recognize the tell-tale signs: the chilling calm as they escalate, the infuriating accusations of being "too sensitive," and their swift pivot to playing the victim the moment you react. Understanding these insidious tactics is the first step to dismantling the trap, as we explain how your reaction, while justified, inadvertently provides them with the emotional supply and control they crave.

But more importantly, this episode is a blueprint for empowerment. We provide concrete, actionable strategies to shift your focus from reacting to responding, from chaos to control. Discover powerful techniques like the JADE Embargo, the Observer Mindset, and physical pattern interrupts that will help you stay grounded, protect your peace, and reclaim your voice. Learn how to break the cycle by choosing when not to engage, transforming your silence into a shield and your inner peace into your greatest power.

If you're ready to embrace this powerful evolution and stop being used, join my FREE Masterclass to learn how to identify the 10 beliefs keeping you in painful relationships and start building true self-trust. Click the link in the below to secure your spot now!

Free Masterclass scheduled for February 15, 2026

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/free-masterclass

Email me at: [email protected]

To schedule a consult: https://fourseasonscounselling.janeapp.com/

Narcissist No More – Measure your magnetic pull Checklist: https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/lead-magnet-landing-page

In this episode, we expose one of the most insidious tactics used by narcissists to maintain control: Triangulation. If you've ever felt like your relationship is a constant competition, or if your partner frequently compares you to an ex, a "flirty" coworker, or an overbearing family member, you aren't imagining things. We break down exactly why toxic partners hate one-on-one accountability and how they introduce a third party—whether real or imaginary—to manufacture jealousy, shatter your self-esteem, and keep you fighting for their approval.

Using the story of "Sarah and Mark," we illustrate the subtle mechanics of how triangulation plays out in everyday life, from intimate moments turned into performance reviews to the "cool girl" trap designed to silence your boundaries. We explore the psychological payoff for the narcissist and explain why they use the "phantom crowd"—vague statements like "everyone agrees with me"—to gaslight you into feeling isolated and wrong. This episode validates the confusion and pain you feel when you are constantly made to feel like the "third wheel" in your own relationship.

Most importantly, this episode is a guide to taking your power back. We provide actionable strategies to help you stop taking the bait, including the "Grey Rock" method, deadpan responses that starve the narcissist of supply, and internal self-talk scripts to rebuild your reality. You will learn how to recognize the weapon of triangulation the moment it appears and, crucially, how to step out of the rigged geometry game for good. Join us to learn why you don't need to compete for a place in your own life.

If you're ready to embrace this powerful evolution and stop being used, join my FREE Masterclass to learn how to identify the 10 beliefs keeping you in painful relationships and start building true self-trust. Click the link in the below to secure your spot now!

Free Masterclass - February 15 @ 7 pm

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/free-masterclass

Email me at: [email protected]

To schedule a consult: https://fourseasonscounselling.janeapp.com/

Narcissist No More Checklist

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/narcissists-no-more

In this powerful episode, "The Recovering Empath Compared to an Unhealed Empath," we explore a profound transformation many of you are experiencing: the evolution into a Recovering Empath. This isn't about shutting down your empathy, but about evolving your humanity. We'll dive deep into the crucial differences between the "Unhealed Empath" – who gives endlessly, trusts too easily, and projects their good nature onto everyone – and the "Recovering Empath" who has built a fierce shield of self-awareness and boundaries after enduring trauma and manipulation.

Discover why Unhealed Empaths often become irresistible targets for narcissists, operating on a default setting of "give," loving too hard, trusting too fast, and forgiving too easily, leading to trauma bonding and being hollowed out. We then reveal the new "superpowers" of the Recovering Empath: the ability to instantly sense lies, immunity to manipulation, flawless energy mirroring, an unwavering stance against chasing, and fierce protection of their peace. This is about becoming emotionally intelligent, mentally sharp, psychologically aware, and fiercely protective of your energy – all while retaining your beautiful empathetic heart.

This episode will challenge your understanding of what it means to be empathetic in a world filled with shadows. It's an active choice to be soft when safe and strong when needed, to have compassion with boundaries, and empathy with logic

If you're ready to embrace this powerful evolution and stop being used, join my FREE Masterclass to learn how to identify the 10 beliefs keeping you in painful relationships and start building true self-trust. Click the link below to secure your spot now!

Free Masterclass - February 15 @ 7 pm

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/free-masterclass

Email me at: [email protected]

To schedule a consult: https://fourseasonscounselling.janeapp.com/

Narcissist No More Checklist

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/narcissists-no-more

You usually hear the victim's story of heartbreak and confusion. Today, you're going to hear the other side: the blueprint the narcissist used to trap you. In "The Architect's Blueprint," we explore how a trauma bond is not an accident, but a calculated psychological game. I'll walk through the stages used to turn a rational human into an addict, rewire your nervous system, and make you crave the very thing that is destroying you. It's time to understand why you never stood a chance—so you can finally stop playing the game.

Why is it so hard to leave a narcissist? The answer lies not in your heart, but in your brain chemistry. A sophisticated cycle of abuse is often mistaken for a deep connection.

We guide you through the Seven Stages of a Trauma Bond:

1. The Hook (Love Bombing): The "audition" phase is designed to flood you with dopamine.

2. The Setup: Building trust to gather ammunition for later use.

3. The Switch (Devaluation): The subtle shift from partner to prisoner.

4. The Reality Breakdown: How gaslighting kills your self-esteem.

5. The Punishment: Using emotional withdrawal to trigger primal panic.

6. The Addiction: The power of intermittent reinforcement.

7. The Emotional Prison: Why you feel stuck even when you know it's toxic.

If you've ever wondered why you stay when it hurts, or why you're grieving a version of a partner that never existed, this episode explains the science behind the spell—and how to start breaking it.

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Free Masterclass - February 15 @ 7 pm

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/free-masterclass

Email me at: [email protected]

To schedule a consult: https://fourseasonscounselling.janeapp.com/

Narcissist No More Checklist

https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/narcissists-no-more

It starts with a backhanded compliment. Then, a guilt trip when you see your friends. Suddenly, everything is your fault, and they are never wrong. If this sounds familiar, you might be seeing the early patterns of narcissistic abuse.

In today's episode, we're taking the blinders off. We are talking about the "mask slip"—that moment when the charming partner turns into a controlling critic. We cover the pain caused by inconsistent behaviour and the confusion it creates.

We break down the specific behaviours that create a toxic cycle:

Inconsistency: The "Damned if you do and damned if you don't dynamic.

The Blame Game: Why they never take responsibility for their actions.

Control & Isolation: How they slowly separate you from your support system.

Constant Criticism: The steady erosion of your self-esteem.

The most important lesson? You cannot change a narcissist's behaviour, no matter how much you love them. But you can change yourself. Tune in to learn how to spot the red flags, trust your gut, and take the first small steps toward reclaiming your reality.

To schedule a consult: https://fourseasonscounselling.janeapp.com/

Narcissist No More – Measure your magnetic pull Checkist: https://courses.fourseasonscounselling.com/lead-magnet-landing-page

In this deeply personal and insightful episode, join me as I circle back to the heart of understanding narcissism – but this time, from a different angle. If you've ever felt constantly drained, questioned your own sanity, or found yourself walking on eggshells, this episode is for you.

I share some of my own story of growing up with a narcissistic parent, illustrating the powerful and insidious ways manipulation shapes our earliest beliefs and self-worth. Discover why emotional exhaustion is a hallmark of these dynamics and how subtle tactics like gaslighting, both from others and within ourselves, erode our sense of self. We'll explore the "too good to be true" feeling, the constant put-downs, and the deep internal conflict that keeps us from trusting our own judgment.

This isn't just about identifying narcissists; it's about understanding your experience, validating your feelings, and beginning the crucial work of reorienting the world to you. Get ready for powerful insights that will help you recognize manipulative patterns, protect your emotional well-being, and begin the journey toward healthier connections.

Have you ever asked yourself, 'Why did I stay so long?' or 'Why do I keep attracting these toxic patterns?' In this powerful episode, join Sonya Gandhi as she pulls back the curtain on the invisible chains of narcissistic abuse. We'll explore eight profound reasons why it's tough to leave these relationships, from the seductive 'golden period' to the insidious erosion of your self-worth.

Discover the psychological tactics that kept you trapped, validate your experience, and understand that it was never your fault. This isn't just a story; it's your roadmap to understanding and ultimately breaking free.

00:00 Introduction: The Journey Begins 00:54 Understanding Narcissistic Relationships 01:26 Why Leaving is So Difficult 02:34 The Eight Reasons You Feel Trapped 13:49 Steps to Reclaim Your Life 18:43 Invitation to the Masterclass 23:11 Conclusion: You Deserve to Heal Coming soon: Free Masterclass