Hey there, love! Today we have Shania Ives as a guest! Shania is an adult adoptee from the UK, the Founding Director of The Dunbar Project, and a trainee integrative psychotherapist. Her mission is to create spaces for empowerment and growth within marginalized communities.

Shania is the very first adoptee I’ve met whose adoptive parents strove to preserve Shania’s connection with her biological family. The story on how her Adoptive parents understood and organized themselves around  her trauma is breathtaking. 

We discuss:

• The atmosphere of adoption in the UK
• Shania's biological father’s struggle to keep her 
• How she founded the Dunbar Project
• What Shania's philosophy to RECLAIM. REFRAME looks like
• We also unpack a variety of resources for extraordinary organizations and initiative for adoptees in the UK and beyond
• And Shania breakdown why is important to have Trauma informed caregivers. 

GUEST:
Shania Ives
@thedunbarproject
www.thedunbarproject.org.uk
Article on the Dunbar Project

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CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

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SPONSORSHIPS:
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ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I chat with Becca Flatt, who is a therapist and advocate specializing in adoption-related trauma, grief, and estrangement. A queer, Black, interracial biracial adoptee, she provides therapy exclusively for adoptees and consultations for both adoptees and adoptive parents. Becca facilitates an estrangement support group for adoptees with Adoption Mosaic and teaches an estrangement course for adoptive parents, helping clients navigate relational challenges with compassion, boundaries, and clarity.

We discuss:
-How she found the balance between accountability and understanding. 

- How she defines what “Forced Empathy” looks like

-What accountability looks like when you burn it to the ground

- How she dealt with self hatred stemming from racism. 

- Why adoptees forgo their comfort to support their adoptive parents. 

- Misogynoir--what is it?

-And Becca does touch on but does not go into detail how she is a sexual abuse survivor.

GUEST: Becca Flatt
@mending_the_adopted_heart
www.mendedheart.org

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Hey, loves! Today I give you three actionables (including a book) that will shift the way you react to people and the situations around you. As well as a tip to release expectations. The holiday season can be disappointing with unmet expectations, I think I know something that will help :)

BOOK: Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I sit with Tara Nolan who is the co-hosts of the podcast (ABC) Adoptees Born in China show, where adoptees from China can listen to and share their adoption stories. This is a deeply thought provoking conversation around the Chinese laws to abolish international adoption and the emotional outcry of the Chinese adoptees who are the last adoptees from that region of the world. 

We discuss:

- Art and its impact on our lives
 - The timeline of Chinese laws from the 1982 one child Nation Mandate
- Tara's insights on the change in Chinese laws and what she thinks this means for adoptees here in the states.

Guest: Tara Nolan
@adopteesborninchinapodcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/63VPA3IiyDrYN1XyS2bjiE

Resources mention:

Nanchang Project
Chinese Adoptee Alliance

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Ryan Jafar Artes, the host of adoptee Open Mic Tuesday zoom events and an award winning poet. We discuss: 

• The act of Reparenting ourselves
• And how through the clear lens of sobriety, Ryan chose the community that poured into him. 
• We touch on the imperative of supporting younger generations of adoptees, 
• Afrofuturism and endofuturism that has inspired a more authentic existence where we can make mistakes and explore numerous outcomes. 
• And we talk about what communities make us feel safe. 
• Ryan also teaches us how to put our stories down with each other not in each other. 
• And we finish with a course on how to give yourself the love language you desire. 

GUEST:
linktr.ee/ryanartes
 @ryanartespoet 
 @theadopteeopenmic on IG

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Hi friends, It's been a ruthless week but I'm here for you. Today I dive into the 5 things I've learned the past year on hiatus. Please note that I speak about my suicide ideations, mental health as well as mention the convictions of our president elect. I'll leave you with some nuggets of hope though. Sending you grace. 

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Gretchen Sisson about her critically acclaimed book "Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood." Gretchen is a sociologist with Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health at the University of California, San Francisco, where she studies adoption and abortion. 

We discuss:

-How national crisis create opportunities for adoption 

-The views of white mothers on relinquishing their biracial children to white adopters

-The laws behind kinship care and valuing children staying in their original culture 

-The definition of transracial adoption 

-Why there is a national interest to increase adoption

-The impact of overturning of Roe v Wade on the adoption industry

-Laws that have been implemented to help adoptees retrieve their biological histories

- Project 2025

And finally I ask the question “Is adoption child centered” and what Gretchen will enlighten you. 

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

I was a guest on the podcast Adoption: The Long View, hosted by Lori Holden. In this episode I am interviewed by Lori who asks the vital question "How can adoptees be the hero of their own stories?" Because that is what I believe we should be. Lori is one of the co-writers for the book, "Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations by Adoptees, Birth parents, and Adoptive parents." The following is what we talk about. Disclaimer: This listen is for adults only.

00:00 Intro
00:47 Video greeting from Lanise
11: 01 Interview with Lori Holden begins
11:59 Lanise starts her adoption story
16:20 Lanise's coming out of the FOG story
18:29 How Lanise's grief manifested
19:42 Lanise's suicide ideations
22:49 Coming to terms with our own story
23:30 Chapter 18 of Adoption Unfiltered "Saviorism)
26:35 The movie Origin & Caste system in adoption
28:22 Global supremacy of whiteness
28:30 Article from The Conversation about whiteness in adoption
30:50 Barbara Kinsolver Poisonwood Bible
31:00 Consequences of saviorism
32:18 Lanise's definition of a better life
34:08 What's behind saviourism and AP's controlling the narrative

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today we talk about the science of attachment styles inspired by the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. This book has revolutionized how I approach all of my relationships. These are my reasons why you should read this book and how I now use it to healthfully allow people to be as they are. 

REFERENCES:
Attached written by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller
Disordered Attachment Article

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today our guest is Shelby Redfield Kilgore who is a two time Emmy award-winning filmmaker and author of the blog, “Behind the Lens” and also co-writer of the book “Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections”.

Today's topics:

• Her filmmaking and how she found her artistic voice
• How the stories she collects have informed her own adoption journey
• The societal pressures of single mothers in Korea and The resentment that surfaced toward her culture because of what happened to her mother.
• The imperative of adoptive parent’s get thorough education before adopting
• And her courage through her Breast cancer journey

GUEST: Shelby Redfield Kilgore
https://www.wearemirrorlight.com/

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...