When They Were Young: Amplifying Voices of Adoptees

 Today we have  an adoptee who was a guest on episode 50 where we discussed the dangers of calling adoption a blessing. Sara Easterly is an adoptee, essayist, and author of books that include Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies, and award-winning spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom. She is the founder of Adoptee Voices, which supports adoptees in their storytelling. She is also a trained course facilitator with the Neufeld Institute, with special interest in the intersection of attachment, child development, brain science, and adoption.

We discuss:

• Check in on her book tours for Adoption Unfiltered (I make a cameo in this book!)
• The feeling of rejection for adoptees
• How she found her book collaborators
• Sara’s reunion with her biological family
• The corruption in adoption
• The new excuse to hold onto adoption narrative

Books cited:

Author Gabor Mate 

"Addicted to Drama" by Dr Scott Lyons

Daniel Nayeri the author of "Everthing Sad and Untrue"

Gretchen Sisson the author of "Relinquished" (Guest on Episode 71)

GUEST:

www.saraeasterly.com

https://www.instagram.com/saraeasterlyauthor/

https://www.facebook.com/saraeasterlyauthor

https://x/saraeasterly

Photo credit for bio pic: Adoptee Eileen Skahill

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Hi again! The idea of adoptees reclaiming themselves have perplexed certain people for awhile now. If you aren’t adopted or haven’t had an in-depth conversation with someone who is adopted you might wonder “What do they need to reclaim?” Today’s guest is Rae from Adoptee Reclaimed. 

Rae is trauma-informed and versed in child development, brain-body integration, and addiction and abuse recovery coaching. Rae borrows somatic methods and Internal Family Systems which she customizes for adoptees. I stumbled across Rae from her Poetry contest.

We discuss:

• Using our voice in a Poetic form
• Why I’ve named the  podcast “When they were young”
• The silent assignment of adoptees
• Recognition of before the fog
• History of adoption with native Americans
• Reunion Support
• How we can best receive joy
• And 5 tips for quality of life (The 3rd tip will change the course of how you approach dating)

Guest: Rae

Adopteereclaimed.com

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Happy New Year! This conversation is a great inspiration for this next chapter. Eunnuri Lee is a Korean-American activist, visual artist, and adoptee who I stumbled across on Tik Tok. I was instantly intrigued by her multidimensional content, her whimsical makeup and Megan thee Stallion commentary.

 And the fact that she is an adoptee as well was sprinkles on the top. 

This conversation covers just about everything. We discuss the importance of sex education and her partners app that he’s developing around conscious coupling.

We talk about: 

• Eunnuri's visual artwork
• Why transparency around influencers is important
• Her journey to confidence as a beauty creator
• And her work with Operation Olive Branch

Books mentioned:

All about love by Bell Hooks

Esther Perel Dating in Captivity

Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons

GUEST:
Eunnuri Lee
Instagram - @eunnuri_lee / @oori_nuri

TIktok - @eunnuri_lee

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Hey there, love! Today we have Shania Ives as a guest! Shania is an adult adoptee from the UK, the Founding Director of The Dunbar Project, and a trainee integrative psychotherapist. Her mission is to create spaces for empowerment and growth within marginalized communities.

Shania is the very first adoptee I’ve met whose adoptive parents strove to preserve Shania’s connection with her biological family. The story on how her Adoptive parents understood and organized themselves around  her trauma is breathtaking. 

We discuss:

• The atmosphere of adoption in the UK
• Shania's biological father’s struggle to keep her 
• How she founded the Dunbar Project
• What Shania's philosophy to RECLAIM. REFRAME looks like
• We also unpack a variety of resources for extraordinary organizations and initiative for adoptees in the UK and beyond
• And Shania breakdown why is important to have Trauma informed caregivers. 

GUEST:
Shania Ives
@thedunbarproject
www.thedunbarproject.org.uk
Article on the Dunbar Project

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I chat with Becca Flatt, who is a therapist and advocate specializing in adoption-related trauma, grief, and estrangement. A queer, Black, interracial biracial adoptee, she provides therapy exclusively for adoptees and consultations for both adoptees and adoptive parents. Becca facilitates an estrangement support group for adoptees with Adoption Mosaic and teaches an estrangement course for adoptive parents, helping clients navigate relational challenges with compassion, boundaries, and clarity.

We discuss:
-How she found the balance between accountability and understanding. 

- How she defines what “Forced Empathy” looks like

-What accountability looks like when you burn it to the ground

- How she dealt with self hatred stemming from racism. 

- Why adoptees forgo their comfort to support their adoptive parents. 

- Misogynoir--what is it?

-And Becca does touch on but does not go into detail how she is a sexual abuse survivor.

GUEST: Becca Flatt
@mending_the_adopted_heart
www.mendedheart.org

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Hey, loves! Today I give you three actionables (including a book) that will shift the way you react to people and the situations around you. As well as a tip to release expectations. The holiday season can be disappointing with unmet expectations, I think I know something that will help :)

BOOK: Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I sit with Tara Nolan who is the co-hosts of the podcast (ABC) Adoptees Born in China show, where adoptees from China can listen to and share their adoption stories. This is a deeply thought provoking conversation around the Chinese laws to abolish international adoption and the emotional outcry of the Chinese adoptees who are the last adoptees from that region of the world. 

We discuss:

- Art and its impact on our lives
 - The timeline of Chinese laws from the 1982 one child Nation Mandate
- Tara's insights on the change in Chinese laws and what she thinks this means for adoptees here in the states.

Guest: Tara Nolan
@adopteesborninchinapodcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/63VPA3IiyDrYN1XyS2bjiE

Resources mention:

Nanchang Project
Chinese Adoptee Alliance

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Ryan Jafar Artes, the host of adoptee Open Mic Tuesday zoom events and an award winning poet. We discuss: 

• The act of Reparenting ourselves
• And how through the clear lens of sobriety, Ryan chose the community that poured into him. 
• We touch on the imperative of supporting younger generations of adoptees, 
• Afrofuturism and endofuturism that has inspired a more authentic existence where we can make mistakes and explore numerous outcomes. 
• And we talk about what communities make us feel safe. 
• Ryan also teaches us how to put our stories down with each other not in each other. 
• And we finish with a course on how to give yourself the love language you desire. 

GUEST:
linktr.ee/ryanartes
 @ryanartespoet 
 @theadopteeopenmic on IG

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Hi friends, It's been a ruthless week but I'm here for you. Today I dive into the 5 things I've learned the past year on hiatus. Please note that I speak about my suicide ideations, mental health as well as mention the convictions of our president elect. I'll leave you with some nuggets of hope though. Sending you grace. 

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Gretchen Sisson about her critically acclaimed book "Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood." Gretchen is a sociologist with Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health at the University of California, San Francisco, where she studies adoption and abortion. 

We discuss:

-How national crisis create opportunities for adoption 

-The views of white mothers on relinquishing their biracial children to white adopters

-The laws behind kinship care and valuing children staying in their original culture 

-The definition of transracial adoption 

-Why there is a national interest to increase adoption

-The impact of overturning of Roe v Wade on the adoption industry

-Laws that have been implemented to help adoptees retrieve their biological histories

- Project 2025

And finally I ask the question “Is adoption child centered” and what Gretchen will enlighten you. 

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!

MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON ...