When They Were Young: Amplifying Voices of Adoptees

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Ryan Jafar Artes, the host of adoptee Open Mic Tuesday zoom events and an award winning poet. We discuss: 

• The act of Reparenting ourselves
• And how through the clear lens of sobriety, Ryan chose the community that poured into him. 
• We touch on the imperative of supporting younger generations of adoptees, 
• Afrofuturism and endofuturism that has inspired a more authentic existence where we can make mistakes and explore numerous outcomes. 
• And we talk about what communities make us feel safe. 
• Ryan also teaches us how to put our stories down with each other not in each other. 
• And we finish with a course on how to give yourself the love language you desire. 

GUEST:
linktr.ee/ryanartes
 @ryanartespoet 
 @theadopteeopenmic on IG

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Hi friends, It's been a ruthless week but I'm here for you. Today I dive into the 5 things I've learned the past year on hiatus. Please note that I speak about my suicide ideations, mental health as well as mention the convictions of our president elect. I'll leave you with some nuggets of hope though. Sending you grace. 

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Gretchen Sisson about her critically acclaimed book "Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood." Gretchen is a sociologist with Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health at the University of California, San Francisco, where she studies adoption and abortion. 

We discuss:

-How national crisis create opportunities for adoption 

-The views of white mothers on relinquishing their biracial children to white adopters

-The laws behind kinship care and valuing children staying in their original culture 

-The definition of transracial adoption 

-Why there is a national interest to increase adoption

-The impact of overturning of Roe v Wade on the adoption industry

-Laws that have been implemented to help adoptees retrieve their biological histories

- Project 2025

And finally I ask the question “Is adoption child centered” and what Gretchen will enlighten you. 

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

I was a guest on the podcast Adoption: The Long View, hosted by Lori Holden. In this episode I am interviewed by Lori who asks the vital question "How can adoptees be the hero of their own stories?" Because that is what I believe we should be. Lori is one of the co-writers for the book, "Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations by Adoptees, Birth parents, and Adoptive parents." The following is what we talk about. Disclaimer: This listen is for adults only.

00:00 Intro
00:47 Video greeting from Lanise
11: 01 Interview with Lori Holden begins
11:59 Lanise starts her adoption story
16:20 Lanise's coming out of the FOG story
18:29 How Lanise's grief manifested
19:42 Lanise's suicide ideations
22:49 Coming to terms with our own story
23:30 Chapter 18 of Adoption Unfiltered "Saviorism)
26:35 The movie Origin & Caste system in adoption
28:22 Global supremacy of whiteness
28:30 Article from The Conversation about whiteness in adoption
30:50 Barbara Kinsolver Poisonwood Bible
31:00 Consequences of saviorism
32:18 Lanise's definition of a better life
34:08 What's behind saviourism and AP's controlling the narrative
34:58 Altruism vs saviorism
37:50 Who's to say "what i

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today we talk about the science of attachment styles inspired by the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. This book has revolutionized how I approach all of my relationships. These are my reasons why you should read this book and how I now use it to healthfully allow people to be as they are. 

REFERENCES:
Attached written by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller
Disordered Attachment Article

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today our guest is Shelby Redfield Kilgore who is a two time Emmy award-winning filmmaker and author of the blog, “Behind the Lens” and also co-writer of the book “Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections”.

Today's topics:

• Her filmmaking and how she found her artistic voice
• How the stories she collects have informed her own adoption journey
• The societal pressures of single mothers in Korea and The resentment that surfaced toward her culture because of what happened to her mother.
• The imperative of adoptive parent’s get thorough education before adopting
• And her courage through her Breast cancer journey

GUEST: Shelby Redfield Kilgore
https://www.wearemirrorlight.com/

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today we have author, activist, podcaster, and educative content creator Melissa Guida Richards; who was also a guest on episode 6 ,and a panelist on my 2020 panel series. A lot has happened since we last chatted a few years ago; Melissa's second book launched and her tik tok / IG platforms now have a huge following of people who want to learn more. 
Topics today include:

• The ramification of Separating siblings
• Her relationship with her adoptive mother, and what it was like to be on the Cameron Hall show with her adoptive mother. 
• What it means to filter content through an anti-racist lens
• Her work in the adoption community and her strategy to make lasting and systemic change. 
• The harm of Social media platforms that advertise children and the dangers of pre-birth matching
• Re-homing children on the internet (AKA human trafficking)
• We also talk about birth parents in crisis and the laws around their rights. 
• She gives advice on how to protect your children’s story when you’re a parental content creator. How to not over-share
• And then we finish with tips on how to not minimize the adoptee experience

GUEST: Melissa Guida Richards
adopteethoughts.com
Melissa's Workbooks

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today I speak with poet, artist, and activist matthew anthony. Matthew has a podcast called "Little Did You Know" and a vibrant poetry book called "You Can Not Burn The Sun."

We discuss:
- Reclaiming ones name
- Rehoming and separating siblings 
- What "with-ness" is in regards to solidarity 
- And the resiliency of a black spirit brought up in a Sun Down town

GUEST: matthew anthony
https://drum.io/cantburnthesun?fbclid=IwAR0XqFmMZsW8-XJwJO4UiyiJugu-LIgsbWJIt9UMHj-vtGBOCU9reHZk8N4

REFERENCES:

James Baldwin “The Fire Next Time”

.

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today, we speak with Lorah Gerald (aka The Adopted Chameleon).  It was a delight to have a light worker with such a profound grasp of a plethora of healing modalities. Lorah is a trauma-informed Kundalini Yoga instructor, Intuitive, Tarot & Tea reader, and Reiki healer. You can find her on Instagram @theadopteechamelean sharing her gifts as a healer through movement and mindful practices. 

We talk about:

• The adoption summit she attended called “Untangling Our Roots”
• Lorah’s Medium energy worker
• Her Kundalini Yoga practice
• The healing powers of wearing colors to brighten your mood
• The Baby Scoop era that she was born into and the complexities of same race adoption. The difference between acute trauma, chronic trauma and complex trauma
• How she became “The Adoptee Chameleon”
• We end with how you can change your energy through breath work, where she leads us through practice. 

GUEST: Lorah Gerald

My website, 

https://lorahgerald.com/

My linktree, 

https://linktr.ee/Lorahwg

REFERENCES:

https://untanglingourroots.org/

Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver 

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today it’s just me.This month has been many things for me. Officially it’s Mental Health awareness month and Asian, Asian American, Pacific Islander Heritage Month. I want to take the time to honor both things. First I’ll tell you why Mental Health awareness is so imperative on a personal level and on a community level.

REFERENCES:

Film One Child Nation

Asian Nation Blog

https://www.asian-nation.org/index.shtml

Asian American Contributions:

https://www.nyxt.nyc/blog/asian-american-pacific-american-heritage-5-facts/

Transracial Adoption statistics:

https://brandongaille.com/21-gripping-transracial-adoption-statistics/

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:

NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":

RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE: