May 05, 2024

When You Say Yes, What Are You Saying No To?

19 minutes

Whenever you say yes to someone or something, you are also saying no to something else. If you always say yes, how will you prioritize the things that truly matter to you?

Today you get a BTS (behind the scenes) of a laser coaching session I did with someone participating inside of my free 12 Weeks to Success Workshop. Sonya has gigantic goals and knows where she wants to go. However, her constant need to say yes to everything and over-committing leads her to neglect her well-being and limits her time to work on her God-sized dreams. During this laser coaching session, I work with her on setting boundaries and rebalancing her life to prioritize what matters most.

Some of her goals include becoming a life coach, creating a course to help women grow in their relationship with Jesus, and writing a book. This episode is a great example of what it is like to work with me. If you are a high achiever, constantly biting off more than you can chew, love to volunteer, and are always known as the 'yes girl', then get a pen and paper; you'll want to take notes.

In this episode, you will be challenged to:

Understand how important prioritizing self-care and your well-being is in your daily routines.

Discover the profound impact of balance and boundary-setting for your daily peace.

Realize the consequences of saying 'yes' to all and its influence on others.

Grasp the underestimated importance of stillness and reflection in goal mapping.

Take time to do a life audit to see how you are spending your time and why.

Prioritize your goals - If you're struggling to figure out your goals or have trouble following through on them, this episode is precisely what you need. It will challenge you to reassess your goals and provide guidance on how to focus on what truly matters.

My special guest is Sonya Smody from Set4Life.

She's a high-achieving single mom who navigates life with resilience and unwavering determination. Continually pushing the boundaries of her comfort zone, Sonya knows her calling and purpose. However, without realizing it, she often overcommits herself leading her to self-sabotage.

The Oxygen Mask Parable

You've probably heard the safety announcement about securing your own oxygen mask before helping others on flights, right? It's a brilliant metaphor to explain why personal care matters. If we can't breathe, we can't help others breathe. This principle applies to our day-to-day lives as well. For those of us who struggle to see our worth the way God does, this lesson is hard to learn and will lead to old habits if we aren't careful.

The Power of Moving Backwards

Our culture often romanticizes the notion of always moving forward and depicts taking even a single step back as a failure. But sometimes, you have to go backward to leap forward. It's like drawing back an arrow before letting it fly. Indeed, revisiting past experiences, re-evaluating priorities, and resetting the course of life can seem daunting. But it can also create necessary growing spaces and ultimately leads to healing if you allow God to help. Sonya openly discussed her fear of going backward in the podcast.

The Struggle with Priorities

You know that feeling when you keep piling on more than you can physically carry? Well, that's what we're talking about. A lot of people, just like Sonya, get caught up in a whirlwind of responsibilities. They believe they can handle everything that comes their way, from personal commitments to endless volunteering opportunities. Unfortunately, it becomes a vicious cycle of always saying yes, leading them to overlook their health and well-being. As one might imagine, this imbalance can take a massive toll on overall happiness and lead to long-term physical and mental exhaustion. From Sonya's perspective, her constant yes attitude initially seemed like a noble trait, one which made lending a helping hand to others a no-brainer. But, it came at a major cost.

The Martha Syndrome

In the biblical account of Martha and Mary, Martha was so wrapped up in serving guests that she missed out on the moment's joy. People, like Sonya, who find it hard to say no, often end up being the 'Martha.' They keep volunteering, serving, and giving until they are spent. While giving back and volunteering are valuable qualities, it's equally important to find space to be still and maintain main priorities. During the podcast, Melissa used the story of Mary & Martha to provide Sonya with a different perspective on her situation. Sonya, as an inherent doer and giver, admitted to being a 'Martha.' The challenge for Sonya now is to balance her 'Martha'-like willingness to serve with the heart posture of Mary.

Want to know more about how to do a life audit? Click here

Want to work with me in February? I'd love to help you! Please email me at [email protected] and we can set up a call.

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By Melissa Batt-Christian Life Coach

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