One characteristic that has a common denominator in basically all of my adult relationships has been: CODEPENDENCY

Being codependent is, for one, a Free Manipulation card for narcissists. It also can be the biggest barrier from creating and maintaining your true sense of self, and most importantly, it drives potentially decent partners away! As a recovering codependent and relationship addict, I spend my time here going through the 5 steps towards becoming a recovering codependent.

I am back after a break. I am joined by a guest host, Bruce, a good friend of mine. We are discussing current life, and the layers that we have as human beings. We all have layers, it just depends on how much we are willing to show to others. Depending on our level of vulnerability, how secure or insecure we are, who we are around, etc...

Thank you for listening to "Where Is My Mind?" by Brian R. Barter :)

You know, my life kinda...sucks right now! But I am FINALLY figuring out, after nearly three months, that I CANNOT go on thinking negatively. Because when you do that....it invites more negativity into your life. The key, I had heard and am now finding, is truthfully and meaningfully practicing GRATITUDE.

This is a conversation I had with my two closest peoples, Nikkole and Kinsley (I just call him Logen). Everybody, I believe, has multiple different personalities that we access and utilize throughout our lives. They change with environment, the company we are around, and how our moods are. Also, take into account D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder), and the potential for traits of it in other personality disorders. 

  The philosophy of Existentialism, made popular by German philosopher Frederik Nietzsche. Every action (cognitive function) I have ever done has been ultimately my own doing. Because I follow no one; I only choose my own destiny, based on MY decisions and core values. Every effort to avoid discomfort is my own doing. And I don't do anything that my SELF does not desire to do.

Joining me again is Zen Kinsley on the concept of "Home." Being homeless, the concept of home is a sensitive subject...Here, I discuss what HOME actually is to us.

I have experience of massive life upheaval, and my sense of self is all fucked up. However, during this time, I have found new love, and I am getting over the trauma bond, little by little. Have you ever struggled with your meaning? How did you get it back? I  struggle every day....and this is how I am attempting to get back to myself.

I am at a frightening crossroads in my life; due to many different forks and turns in the road in my life, I now find myself homeless, and my future unknown.

Anxiety is a constant greeter of mine, I feel a plethora of hurt and pain. However, these emotions can be countered with, and certainly not felt without LOVE.

Cortisol, Dopamine and Oxytocin are our brains' way of creating and using drugs, and they can dramatically change both your mental and physical health. 

(Photo: Brian R. B. and Matthew B., September 2022)

The term "trauma bond," has become a popular thing these days in the internet psychology and relationship world. It took me 5 months to realize what exactly what happening with my relationship, and myself.

DISCLAIMER: I still have no ill intentions towards the Antagonist of this episode. Mental illness affects so many individuals, and it is not anyone's fault that they have gone through trauma. 

I have a lot of unpublished recordings, the majority of which I don't remember making. This one is 3 months to the date recorded, and I think it has some rather substantial words.