I recorded myself while off my psych medications, I was attempting to cope with a heartbreaking breakup with who I thought was the love of my life, and I hadn't slept, etc...

On THIS episode, is the follow-up where Shevvy explains the destructive, self-sabotaging behavior in the phases that play out by a person with Borderline Personality SUBCONSCIOUSLY pushes their partner little by little until, unfortunately, the codependent (In this case, both were CD)decides it's time, and ends the relationship.

Returning for another episode, I am joined with my co-host Nikkole to discuss this philosophical episode. 

What is life? What have I accomplished in my own? What do I still desire to achieve? ...Am I happy? 

We ramble, YOU think. 

This is a raw recording of myself, Shevvy, at my most vulnerable. I am heart-wrecked, jealous, and overall pissed off. 

I had missed my super-duper important psych med for a few days, and was quite intense. 

I am putting myself and my inner emotions out there for all who wish to listen to the BPD thunderstorm inside my head. 

"Whoooaaa Mama!!" - Johnny Bravo

In this episode, I speak with the best person I know who can talk about their Major Depressive Disorder; My friend and ex-girlfriend, Nikkole. We go over the symptoms and traits of clinical depression, how we relate to it, and what we can do to ease the pain.

This is part one is my ATTEMPT to cover many personality and mood disorders, one by one.

I did an after-hours solo episode. Here, I get deep with you, and with myself, about a highly problematic mental illness that I have personally suffered from for about a decade. Here, you will learn all about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). All the symptoms, and what it is like to be inside the head of the affected person. 

I divulge my strategies and methods that I personally use continuously (if I am even aware of what I'm doing) to prevent the extreme and sometimes irrational outbursts and behaviors exhibited by someone with this disorder. This emotional rollercoaster in our heads is not fun, and all we want to do is get off of it. There is a way.

Matthew joins in around the halfway mark of this delicate episode discussing monogamy, open relationship styles, and...Well, I tried to touch on Polyamory, but that's a relationship(s) that I cannot wrap my poor head around.

What relationship style do you have, if you have one? What style do you desire, outwardly or secretly? We discuss our relationship style and how my codependency actually...really isn't all that bad at all! So...What's your style, mate?

I feel like we are beginning to get better at this. This episode is a full collaboration between myself, Shevvy, and my partner and confidant, Matthew.

In this episode, we discuss how we formed our self-esteem, and what it means to us. How did we deal with things that attacked our self-esteem when we were younger? And how do we deal with it as adults? Where do we go from here? 

I think this one went better than the first few; We're working hard on getting into the mindset and flow of recording a podcast, and I'm trying to be aware of my speech impediment and overcome it.

This night, I discuss (with the help of Matthew), what causes social isolation and loneliness, and the long term effects of it. I talk about my own experience with it, living in the middle of nowhere after having crashed my car and lost my license, followed by separation from my wife, and the toll it had on me.

In this solo short episode, I decided to discuss my concerns and predictions regarding Russia, Ukraine, the UN, and the potential threat of escalating war.

Being a solo episode, I rambled on here too much to truly get to the core subject matter...sometimes, we get caught up in our own heads so much, that we can't get to the center. I suppose it can be hard to stay on track with adult ADHD and intoxication. But here it is, my relationship history in as small of a nutshell as I can put it in. Take it or leave it, MoFos. <3