In this episode, we learn that a simple task, like adding a few more notches to a leather belt, can lead to: a premature retirement, enrolling in a crafts workshop, and possibly a missed love connection with that workshop instructor.

We also learn how to flirt your way into the arms of an old flame. If giving your ex a grade-2 concussion doesn’t tell them you want to get back together, I don’t know what will. It’s called “flirting”. Look it up as soon as your vision clears a bit.

Some people say: “the best defense is a good offense.” While others say: “the most effective party invite is to disinvite one person.”

No that does not make sense, but it does make sense to ONE person. Care to take a guess?

This may be confusing to read, but once you listen, it will make sense!

*Don’t hold me to that last sentence!*

Enjoy.

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At some point in your life you may hear someone use the phrase: “that’s like finding a devout Christian at a pagan ceremony!” intending to convey a situation that is by all accounts—implausible.

When someone says that to you, you now know two things:

One, that person is over the age of 85.

Secondly, you will never speak to them again. Unless you are Corinne Kaplan. If you are Coco, this implausible scenario may be very, very plausible.

We also examine two intriguing emails—one about family dynamics and the other touching on personal “tragedy”. Come for “the tea”, stay for the foolishness (and the subject of an upcoming YELP! review—hint, hint).

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Some of us have to learn the hard way that what your doctor’s office tells you to do pre & post operation are called instructions - not, suggestions.

What if I told you someone you know quite well disregarded all of those instructions? Would you be surprised if I then told you - that did not work out well?

We’ll leave that there and head to Aspen, CO where you’ll be happy to learn that blacks and whites have learned to live together in perfect harmony. Yes, black AMEX cards and pure, white snow pair perfectly like: a wrinkled, old, rich man and the trophy wife that pretends to love him. 

Love is in the air as well as any plane that doesn't have Jeff Bezos on it.

While you may or may not be circling Aspen, throw on this podcast and...

Enjoy. 

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The phrase: “The call is coming from inside of the house” can take on several meanings. Possibly a partner that is downstairs and suffering from severe laziness, calling their partner on the phone who happens to be upstairs because they needed to tell them something but didn’t deem it important enough to use their legs.

That phrase can also accurately describe the unique situation in which your stomach and your brain lock “eyes” and your stomach whispers: “You’ve got four minutes to get somewhere. Hard Stop.”

From construction workers using a highway Porta-potty to an international supermodel on a private jet, whose stomach is rejecting her morning smoothie of: cocaine, cigarettes, and Diet Coke - the cramping in the stomach remains the same, and it unites us all.

This is Corinne's story.

Enjoy.

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Normally, when you’re talking with someone in an abandoned airplane hangar on the outskirts of the city, it’s because you’ve angered a local mafia boss and your time on this planet is drawing to a close. 

In this case, however, that airplane hanger has been repurposed into a convention center, and that mafia boss is your tarot card reader. 

Personally, I would have rolled the dice with the mafia boss because at least when he told me that he was going to kill me, I knew it was true. 

However, my lovely girlfriend, Sara, and my asexual sister wife, Corinne chose the ladder. 

They chose to have their future interpreted by women which no doubt drove themselves to said convention on a suspended license. 

Let’s just say that in a world where everybody wants proper representation, these psychic readers did “their people” a disservice, and I couldn’t be happier about it. 

Enjoy. Love, Al

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What pairs nicely with 10 flights of whiskey at a high-end distillery? If you answered: intervention, you are correct my friend. 

In this episode, we watch how Corinne‘s father seamlessly repurposes a traditional family outing into an ill-timed intervention. It’s like he was worried we wouldn’t have enough content. Thank you, Dr. Kaplan!

We also get to some medically troubling Geaux Nakeds, our beloved and forever, giving Facebook group.

While listening to this episode never lose sight of fact that all of this every single word is real. Happy holidays Swimmers.

Enjoy.

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Welcome back, Swimmers! We knew you couldn’t stay away, and you knew we wouldn’t leave you hanging. 

In this episode, Corinne recounts her wild journey filled with: an impromptu wedding proposal complete with ring and drunken suitor; Swedish nurses babysitting elderly gentlemen & young men babysitting their cocktails - we run the full gamete.

In keeping with the cruise theme, Coco is forced to navigate the complexities of Southwest Airlines' open seating policy and ends up paying the price for teaming up with the wrong passenger.

But wait, there’s more! Corinne faces a full-blown panic as she comes to terms with a looming surgery. Let’s just say, a scalpel and a different kind of ring is involved. 

Enjoy! And we would like to wish you a Happy Holidays, but if we’re being honest, we hope something weird/awkward/semi terrible happens so that you will write us about it and we can discuss.

Love ya’ll!

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As a former cruise ship comedian, just writing this description brings back some challenging memories for me, so I’ll keep it brief. If I had to sum up our girl Corinne’s experience on a cruise ship, it would be: 

“I could’ve told you that.”

Let’s get straight to the point—cruises stink.

“Hey kids, would you like to spend five days on a boat full of people you wouldn’t even talk to on solid ground if your hair was on fire? Do you want to be surrounded by those same people engaging in some pre-planned, manufactured fun?”

If the answer is yes, then grab some shorts that will guarantee no one will fantasize about taking off of you, some sunscreen that smells like your Grandpa’s swamp region, and meet me on the Lido deck! 

This is part one of a two-part recounting of Corinne’s adventures at sea. 

Enjoy!

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Whether you're a fan of deep tissue massages or prefer a gentle touch, one thing's for sure: we can all agree that our massage therapist should practice the ancient art of STFU! 

Join us as we sift through our electronic mailbox in the sky, tackling the intriguing problems that our "swimmers" send our way. Whether it be a chatty massage therapist or middle seat “rando”, we provide our insights on navigating the sea of weirdos we encounter on this journey we call- life. 

We love you, swimmers! 

Here’s to hoping your holidays are swimmingly wonderful!

Enjoy.

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Let’s be honest. Kids and adults know that learning to spell in 2024 is a complete and total waste of time. Grammarly, spell-check and ChatGPT has made everything irrelevant but we need somewhere to warehouse kids while their parent flirts on Slacker with another parent working-from-home that describes themselves as a “Cleveland 7.5” in their LinkedIn bio. 

So if we agree spelling doesn't matter, why not let our own Corinne K. do it? 

Don't answer that. 

We do however, have time to answer and respond to a few Geaux Naked FB inquires about: enemas, potty training and when to give in to the impulse of raising your child as a feral animal.

Enjoy! 

Come say hi:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mysafewordismore/

Corinne: https://www.instagram.com/corinsanity/

Al: https://www.instagram.com/aljacksonig/

Executive Producers are Riley Peleuses + Garrett Knack for YEA Media Group / YMG Podcasts

If you are interested in advertising on this podcast or having Corinne & Al as guests on your Podcast, Radio Show, or TV Show, reach out to [email protected]

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