This one time I got arrested... twice. Sometimes that's just the heart of the cards.

Don't catch yourself with diarrhea on the greyhound after eating bear-mace wings. That's a good way to catch horse-herpes. We're crashing-in and freaking-out for prison-fights.

It's the Holliday Season, we got turkey-tits, pineapple pie, and porno trading cards over on our new website; shootbigloads.com

I'm gonna invent the tariff stimmy check and find Emilia Earhart. The center of the earth is titties.

Dolphin dicks and ostrich nogs. Don't chip the nip, because we're cruisin' for a "HELL YEAH!"

Grab your milk duds and your Chinese candy-corn, we're joining the hairyfoot beatles cult, but still kind of unsure about green tea. Watch out for research monkeys.

Alright you butt-breathers, take your donkey pills and strap-on for a scooter pursuit. We're Scissor-lifting the vape shop on the way to the taco bell marathon.

We can't launch our nicotine apps because of the government shutdown, and they took away all the dinosaur balls. Looks like we're going back to 96' to steal some beer and chillicheese.

Tune-in to chat GDPGTV+ and learn how to buy dynamite from a crack-dealer. 

Alright you milk-mongerers, come up to the porn fort and bring your perineum piercing cuz we're having tacobell shrimp. Nice balls.