Water-boarding is as addictive as Affrin. We're using cell-phone jammers to survive the apocalypse at your mom's house. Caffeine is bad, so drink a bang and enjoy the halftime show.

Russians aren't getting any rhino pills for Christmas, but warm-blooded Americans are. The decline in teen drug use has lead to dash ducks, and fish hook fingers. We're slinging Webers for world peace.

Lotta mofks in the studio tonight. Malls do exist. You can go there for the roast beef bukkake with horsey sauce, but you'll likely leave with wooly mammoth infection. Support diamond technology, and dupe cologne.

We're taking the sub-ukranian tunnel to the milk-cellar and picking up some roller-torpedoes on the way. 

We're using the GPPI on the yellow jacket farm.  Dont forget the mouse turds and marinara when your butterball butt-sunning.

Spacesex rocket is gonna baja-blast in the boca chica cinnabyte box.

You gotta have a plan. You could canoe, or you could F the salamanders.

Politicians be on anti-baller performance drugs. But at least there's map to porn-forts on the other side. 

I got diddy'd by Cenobites eating chocolate covered chewing gum. Vote for Santa Clause, he's high-bandwith.

If you're gonna get an arm-rection you might catch koalamydia. That's just the beginning, we got alien interviews, Australian potato gems, and five different ways to break your arm-dick. Don't get caught buggying while intoxicated, or there will be no more quarter-pounders with cheese. Thanks Elon.