It transpires that Steven (of 'The Chase' fame) stowed away aboard the TARDIS, so at least The Doctor won't need to deal with Vicki on his own. The Stevemeister refuses to believe that they can travel through both space and time, whereupon Doc does what he claimed incapable of doing for Barbara and Ian, namely, take them to England. Alas, it's the year 1066 and the Battle of Hastings is just around the corner, as are some weirdly trusting Saxons and some vicious and ill-coiffed Vikings.

That's not all, though. Also present is a Meddling Monk, who goes by 'Father', has an electric toaster and isn't really human. In fact, he's a fellow Timelord. Which is pretty awesome, since this is the first time we encounter anyone from Gallifrey who is neither The Doctor nor Susan.

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Toodle-Pip!

Doc and Lucie go to Stockholm to steal art from the King and match wits with an Italian chap from outer space.

Before you go any further, consider that this is in some ways a sequel to (A006) Human Resources, an audiobook you really should have a listened to because it's awesome and bombastic. You won't need to have heard it to follow along with this one, but you may appreciate it more if you do. Ok, all clear? Good. Let's go on.

The Doctor and Lucie materialised goodness knows where and goodness knows when, but at the moment they're rocketing along the rails on an actual electric train bound for Stockholm in 1896. We can only assume that the TARDIS is stowed somewhere onboard.

Anyway, also aboard the train is Simonsson (Michael Maloney), art dealer to King Oskar of Sweden, who is transporting two works of art by renowned Italian artist Claudio Tardelli (Christopher Benjamin), who – spoiler alert – isn't really from Italy but some other planet entirely. Also onboard are The Headhunter (Katarina Olsson) and Karen (Louise Fullerton) of Human Resources fame, who have teamed up and arrived there to steal one of said works of art. All parties collide and so begins a race between the two baddies and the two goodies to steal it first, along the way of which we witness them hypnotise Swedish royal guards, impersonate aristocracy, bludgeon academics and fight for an entire universe. Pretty neat.

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Toodle-Pip!

The Doc takes Rose to the End of the World, but there's no restaurant there.

The Doc takes Rose to the End of the World, but there's no restaurant there.

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Toodle-Pip!

The doctor gets a facelift and a brand new companion in this opener to the 2005 revival.

Rose (Billie Piper) is your run-of-the-mill chav living with her bawdy mum Jackie (Camille Coduri) in a council flat somewhere in the Welsh part of London. Her life is pretty typical: she has an uninspiring job, partakes in dishearteningly unromantic Trafalgar Square montages with her winy, rubbish, abysmally chavy boyfriend Mickey (Noel Clarke), and she’s about to embark on a trip through time and space with the most charming, two-hearted, extra-terrestrial, adventurous do-gooder, namely, The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston). But that’s not until the end of this episode. Spoilers!

First she needs to battle lumbering Autons, meet a conspiracy theorist (whose wife is unrealistically trusting of her husband’s goings-on in the shed with strange women he’s met on the Internet) and have her aforementioned rubbish boyfriend replaced with a shiny plastic replica.

But it’s fine, because she meets the Doctor along the way, and so do we, and thus begins the 2005 revival of this glorious saga.

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Toodle-pip

Doc & Lucie match wits with crocodiles while we refuse to even pretend that we care.

The Doctor and Lucie materialise on the planet Indigo 3, which plays host to conspiring monks, violent crocodiles and gargantuan plot-holes.

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Check out WHOBACKWHEN.COM for more information, Doctor Who TV Serial and Audiobook reviews, ratings and ramblings, and loads more podcast episodes.

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Tootle-Pip!

The Doc and Lucie materialise in Suffolk, Uzbekistan, and find themselves pinned twixt tank-driving mercenaries and some very autonomous villagers.