Who the F*ck Are You? In Session with a Psychotherapist.

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In this episode, I’m joined by Matt Peale.

Matt is a sports performance coach, author, and someone who spends his life helping people understand the connection between movement, posture, pain, performance, and wellbeing.

What surprised me about this conversation is how quickly it stopped being about fitness.

We started talking about posture, movement, and physical health, but underneath it was really about awareness. The way we carry ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves. The habits we repeat without ever questioning where they came from.

Matt talks about how something as simple as posture affects confidence, energy, breathing, relationships, and the way we move through the world. Not because posture is some magical fix, but because nothing exists in isolation. The body affects the mind. The mind affects the body. Everything is connected.

That led us into a much bigger conversation about identity and the things we attach ourselves to. Politics. Sport. Success. Failure. Recovery. The way human beings constantly look for something outside themselves to belong to, defend, and build a sense of self around.

One of the parts I enjoyed most was talking about unconscious behaviour. The stories we tell ourselves. The things we believe without questioning. The way we create experiences in our lives and then act surprised when the same patterns keep showing up.

Matt speaks openly about relationships, fatherhood, divorce, pressure, self talk, and the role the subconscious plays in shaping our lives. Not from a place of having it all figured out, but from someone willing to look honestly at where he still gets caught in his own thinking.

We also spoke about golf, which on the surface sounds ridiculous. Getting angry over a little white ball. But underneath it sits something most of us know well. Perfectionism. Expectation. Self judgement. The need to get things right.

Different environment. Same human being.

What landed for me was how often we try to solve problems externally when the real work is internal. Whether it is our posture, our relationships, our reactions, or the stories we tell ourselves, the common denominator keeps showing up.

Us.

The statement Matt leaves for the next guest is this:

For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better.

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Matt Peale can be found at: https://www.mattpeale.com/

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In this episode, I’m joined by Rosemary Gattuso.

Rosemary is a family mediator, counsellor, and author of It’s Not You. It’s Me. A Chronic Overthinker’s Guide to Self Reflection. The moment I saw the title of her book, I knew this conversation was going to head somewhere interesting.

This episode sits inside conflict, accountability, overthinking, and the way relationships slowly break down when people become more focused on defending themselves than understanding each other.

Rosemary comes from years of sitting between separating couples and families in conflict. Real people navigating betrayal, resentment, parenting, anger, and heartbreak while trying to untangle lives that have become emotionally fused together.

What I found interesting in this conversation was how often people become trapped inside their own perspective. The need to prove they are right. The need to explain themselves. The need to make the other person the villain so they can avoid sitting in their own discomfort.

We talk a lot about identity in this episode. How pain can quietly become part of who we think we are. How overthinking creates the illusion of control while actually keeping people stuck. And how exhausting life becomes when every interaction is filtered through defence, fear, or past wounds.

There is also a big part of this conversation around ownership.

Not self blame.
Not shame.
Ownership.

The ability to stop asking:
Who caused this?

And start asking:
What part of this belongs to me?

Rosemary also speaks about something that landed heavily for me from her work. The difference between focusing on what’s wrong and focusing on what’s strong. That simple shift changes how people move through conflict, relationships, parenting, and even the way they see themselves.

We also get into vulnerability and the way people confuse it with emotional dumping. Oversharing. Bleeding unresolved pain onto strangers and calling it connection. That part hit home for me personally because I know exactly what it looks like to unconsciously use other people as emotional containers while believing you are simply being open.

There is a fascinating tension throughout this whole conversation between awareness and identity. Between genuinely helping people and unconsciously hiding behind the role of therapist, mediator, helper, or healer.

This is not a conversation about becoming perfect or emotionally evolved.

It is about noticing where we stay trapped in our own narrative long enough to keep repeating the same patterns with different people.

The question Rosemary leaves for the next guest is this:

Is my focus on what’s wrong or what’s strong?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Rosemary Gattuso can be found at;

https://www.rosemarygattuso.com/

https://www.instagram.com/rosemarygattuso/

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

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In this episode, I’m joined by Terraine.

Terraine is a coach, podcaster, and someone who speaks openly about heartbreak, avoidance, family wounds, and the unconscious reasons we chase relationships in the first place.

What I liked about this conversation is that it never stayed surface level for very long. We started talking about relationships, but underneath it was really about safety. The need to belong. The need to feel chosen. The need to finally build the family or connection we never really had growing up.

Terraine speaks openly about growing up without stability and how that shaped the way he approached love. Not consciously. Not manipulatively. Just the way most of us do when we have unresolved shit sitting underneath us. We move toward what feels familiar, even when familiar hurts us.

That was probably the biggest thing this episode sat inside.

How many relationships are actually built from awareness?
And how many are built from wounds trying to find relief?

We talk about physical abuse, emotional safety, attachment styles, pornography, projection, narcissism, social media outrage, and the human tendency to constantly need someone else to blame for the discomfort we feel inside ourselves.

Not in a preachy way. Not as theory. As real human behaviour.

There is a part of this conversation where we move into accountability and that is where things got interesting for me. Because it is easy to point at parents, ex partners, childhood, trauma, society, or whatever else shaped us. And to be fair, a lot of those things genuinely do shape us. But eventually there comes a point where we have to ask:
What is my responsibility now?

Not what happened to me.
What am I continuing to repeat?

That is the shift this whole conversation keeps circling around.

We also speak a lot about modern relationships and the way people unconsciously recreate the same dynamic over and over with different faces. Different partner. Same argument. Same wound. Same ending.

And underneath all of it is usually the same thing. Fear.

Fear of abandonment.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of not being enough.
Fear of actually being seen.

This is not a conversation about perfect relationships or becoming some spiritually enlightened couple who never argues. It is about recognising your own patterns quickly enough that you stop destroying connection every time discomfort shows up.

The statement Terraine leaves for the next guest is this:

Creating memories are the gateway to happiness.

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Terraine Brown can be found at:

https://www.behindtheshades.ca

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

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In this episode, I’m on my own again.

This one is different.

I sit inside the groups I’m launching and why I think people are starving for spaces where they can stop performing and start being fucking honest.

Not self improvement.
Not life coaching.
Not people pretending they’ve transcended being human.

Just real people sitting in a room together finally realising:
“Fuck. I do that too.”

I talk about addiction recovery, unconscious behaviour, emotional triggers, avoidance, projection, defensiveness, relationships, affairs, criticism, masculinity, feminine energy, and the stories we keep repeating without even realising it.

I break down how small moments inside relationships are never really about the surface issue.

The coffee machine isn’t about the coffee machine.
The tone isn’t about the tone.
The argument today usually started twenty years ago.

This episode is really about slowing things down enough to see what is actually happening underneath our reactions.

I also talk about the danger of becoming the smartest person in the room.
How insight becomes ego.
How awareness becomes armour.
How people hide behind therapy language instead of actually changing.

These groups are not therapy.
They are not motivational seminars.
They are not a place to be fixed.

They are a place to get honest enough to finally see yourself.

The only real rule:
Don’t be a C*nt.

The question this episode leaves behind is this:

What story are you still telling that keeps you from looking in the mirror?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

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BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

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In this episode, I’m joined by David Hackett.

It’s a fascinating conversation because while David speaks openly about control, codependency, loneliness, and emotional pressure inside his previous marriage, there are still moments where you can hear how easy it is for all of us to stay focused on what the other person did.

Not from malice. Not from manipulation. Just from being human.

That’s what made this conversation interesting to me. Listening to someone genuinely trying to make sense of their life while still unconsciously sitting inside parts of the same patterns most of us do. The need to explain. The need to justify. The need to make sense of pain by locating the cause outside ourselves.

And to be fair, some of what he describes sounds genuinely difficult. There are clear elements of emotional control, anxiety, pressure, and losing yourself inside a relationship dynamic. But what fascinated me was hearing how awareness starts to form in real time. You can almost hear someone halfway between blame and accountability.

That space is uncomfortable as fuck.

Because once we stop seeing ourselves as completely innocent, we also have to start asking harder questions. Why did I stay? Why did I ignore myself? What part of me accepted that dynamic? That is where the real work starts.

This conversation with David, shows the human condition of relationships, without blaming or defending his ex wife. It is about showing how messy relationships actually are when two people collide.

And now another layer has opened up.

David’s ex wife has reached out and wants to tell her side of the story.

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

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BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

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In this episode, I’m joined by Xanet.

Xanet is a sex and intimacy coach who came into this work through lived experience. Twenty six years in a sexless marriage. Not theory. Not study. Real life.

This conversation sits inside intimacy, vulnerability, and what actually happens in long term relationships when the surface level connection fades and people are left facing themselves.

We talk about the difference between sex and intimacy and how most people confuse the two. How easy it is to have sex without real closeness, especially in the beginning of relationships when dopamine and novelty are doing most of the work.

But long term intimacy is different.

It asks more of you.
More honesty.
More vulnerability.
More exposure.

Because eventually it is not about impressing the other person anymore. It is about allowing yourself to actually be seen.

We go into the fear around that.

How much easier it can feel to be sexually open with someone new than with the person you have built a life with. Because with a stranger there is no real risk. But with your partner, rejection lands deeper. You still have to look them in the eye afterwards. You still have to stay in the relationship with whatever gets exposed.

Xanet speaks openly about her own attachment wounds and how they still show up in her relationship now. The fear around hard conversations. The fear of abandonment. And how awareness does not magically remove the reaction, but it does create space to work with it differently.

This one also moves into something I care about a lot.

The way childhood patterns show up in adult relationships. Not as concepts, but in real moments. Conflict, defensiveness, withdrawal, fear, reassurance. Most of the time it is not two adults fighting. It is two wounded children trying to protect themselves.

We also talk about therapy itself and how easy it is for people like us to hide behind awareness, language, and knowledge. To start therapising instead of connecting. To explain instead of feeling.

This conversation is not about perfect relationships.

It is about what it takes to stay open inside one. What it takes to repair. To own your shit. To stop seeing your partner as the enemy and start seeing what is actually happening underneath the reaction.

The question Xanet leaves for the next guest is this.

If there is one thing in your life you could have done differently, what would it have been?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Xanet Pailet can be found at 

https://www.passionateintimacyretreats.com/

@xanetpop on Instagram

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This episode, it’s just ME.

No guest, no back and forth, no distraction. Just me sitting inside the question that was left and actually answering it instead of dodging it.

When have I felt completely helpless and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

I go back about eight years. On paper, everything was sorted. House, money, business, toys, family. The life most people are chasing. The top of the mountain I thought was going to fix everything.

And nothing changed, because I hadn’t changed.

That’s where it started to crack. I hit a point where everything I had built didn’t match how I felt. So I did what most people do. I started looking around for the problem. I changed locations, changed direction, tried to move my life around hoping something would shift.

It didn’t. It got worse.

I ended up back at my mum’s place in my early forties with my daughter. Everything I owned was tied up in court. COVID hit at the same time. No control, no direction, no idea what the fuck I was doing.

That was the collapse.

Not the one at 22 when I got sober. This was different. This was internal. Everything I thought I was fell apart.

And I didn’t want to hear any of the shit people were saying at the time. That there was a lesson in it. That I should stay with it. That I shouldn’t rush out of the suffering. I wanted it to stop.

But that was the turning point.

Because when everything else dropped away, I had nowhere left to look except at myself. Not the version I liked, not the story I told, but the actual patterns. The way I showed up in relationships, as a partner, as a father, as a boss, and even as someone trying to help others while still avoiding parts of myself.

This episode sits inside that shift. What happens when the life you built doesn’t save you. What happens when the story stops working. What happens when you run out of people to blame and the only place left to look is inward.

It also moves into what’s happening now. The world feels unstable, people are under pressure, and there’s a lot of fear around what’s coming next. Most people are looking for answers somewhere outside of themselves, hoping something out there will settle it.

What I’ve seen is the opposite.

Sometimes things have to collapse. Sometimes you have to feel helpless. Because that’s the only point where something real can actually change, not the surface version, not the image, but the foundation underneath it.

I don’t fix it.

I sit inside what that collapse actually did, what it showed me, and what it cost to stop running from it.

The question I leave for the next guest is this.

What is something you wish you were better at in relationships?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

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In this episode, I’m joined by David Russell.

David is my supervisor. Decades in the field. Academic, therapist, teacher. More lived experience than most and not hiding behind it.

This conversation sits inside something deeper than most people want to go.

We go straight into the question that was left.

What does it mean when something is done out of love beyond good and evil.

And it doesn’t stay philosophical for long.

David breaks it down in a way that strips the bullshit out of it. Good and evil as ideas don’t hold much. They don’t carry imagination. They don’t carry depth. They are labels. Morality. Surface level.

We move into something else.

Soul.

Not as a word people throw around. As something that actually happens. In the moment. In connection. In presence.

Not something you learn.
Not something you perform.
Something you allow.

We also go into the danger in this work.

How easy it is to hide behind the identity of therapist, coach, psychologist. To use training as armour. To sit above instead of with.

And how quickly that kills any real connection.

This one hits on something I care about a lot.

Dropping the vertical relationship. Therapist above client. Parent above child. One person holding the power.

And moving it into something more honest. More equal. More human.

Not losing boundaries.
Not losing responsibility.

But actually meeting someone where they are instead of trying to manage them.

There’s also honesty in this.

The pull of ego.
The inflation that comes when someone tells you how good you are.
How easy it is to believe your own bullshit if you don’t check it.

No one is above that.

Not me.
Not him.
Not anyone.

This one slows things down.

Less talking.
More presence.

The question David leaves for the next guest is this.

When have you felt completely helpless and it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to you?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

WEBSITE

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BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

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In this episode, I’m joined by Josh Shay.

Josh is a coach who works with pornography addiction and the fallout that comes with it. Before that, he was what most people would call high functioning. Successful, visible, respected. All while hiding alcoholism and a porn addiction that was running his life underneath it.

This conversation sits inside illusion, validation, and what it costs to hold everything together.

Josh speaks about being an overachiever who could perform at a high level while everything underneath was falling apart. The energy it took just to maintain the image. To keep people seeing what he wanted them to see while hiding what was actually going on.

What stood out in this one is how much of his identity was built on external validation. Awards, recognition, status. Not because he was arrogant, but because he needed it to feel like he was enough. And how quickly that falls apart when the addiction catches up.

We go into the moment where everything collapsed. Losing his role, being confronted by the people around him, and having to make a decision. Keep going the way he was going or face what was actually there.

From there, the conversation moves into responsibility.

Not just stopping the behaviour.
Understanding how you got there in the first place.

Because putting something down is one thing.
Seeing why you needed it is something else entirely.

We also talk about ego.

How easy it is to chase attention.
How easy it is to build a version of yourself that looks good from the outside.
And how different it feels to step away from that and live a quieter life that is actually aligned.

This one is honest.

Not about perfection.
Not about having it all sorted.

About what it takes to go from performing your life to actually living it.

The question Josh leaves for the next guest is this.

What does it mean when something is done out of love and exists beyond good and evil?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

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BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

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In this episode, it’s just me.

No guest. No back and forth. Just me marking something that actually matters. 

25 years clean and sober.

This one is not about storytelling. It is more of a reflection. Not the polished version. The real one.

I talk about what it actually means to be sober. The difference between being abstinent and actually doing the work. Because putting the drink down is one thing. Changing how you live is something else entirely.

I go back to what drove it in the first place. Feeling different. Not fitting in. Needing something to bridge that gap. And how alcohol did that for a while until it didn’t.

This episode sits inside that shift. What it takes to live in the world without needing something external to make you feel okay. And how that is still a daily practice. Not something that gets ticked off and finished.

I also speak about selfishness. Not pretending it’s gone. Not pretending I’ve fixed it. Just being honest about the fact it’s still there. And that awareness is what keeps me from falling straight back into it.

There is also something deeper in this one. The idea that we are not broken. That the cracks are part of it. That the work is not about becoming perfect, but about being willing to look at yourself without turning away.

This is not a lesson. It is a check in. A reminder of where I came from and what it actually takes to stay on this path.

No fixing.
No wrapping it up.

Just being honest about the fact that if I forget who I am, I lose everything.

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor

Author or It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME.

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

WEBSITE

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BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY