We’re diving into a YA classic, this week! Mary takes Renee through the rollercoaster that is the novel version of The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot, which bears minimal resemblance to its movie adaption. Key differences include: New York City, provoking foot fetishist stalkers, tattooed eyeliner, casual references to violence, a racially-motivated campaign against a family business, and a devastating lack of Joe. Join us for other highlights such as trying to figure out how principalities work, struggling to answer basic econ questions (despite having 2 economics degrees between the both of us), and singing that one song from Death Note the Musical. 

Episode Source Material: The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot

It's that time of year when students rush to do their summer reading, so we are bringing y'all Hatchet by Gary Paulsen (yes, that book you read in 5th grade). Renee explains the disappointing plot of this book and along the way create fanfiction about the creation of Plenty of Fish. Mary teaches Renee that a billfold is not a money clip and Renee reveals how quickly she would die in the woods. If your type is a sad 30-something in the suburbs, this is the episode for you.

Episode Material:

Hatchet by Gary Paulsen

Mary finally reads a book, but at what cost? This week’s book is Fairest by Gail Carson Levine, aka the Snow White AU nobody asked for and another contender for worst book on the podcast. Not only does the story make no sense and filled with weak world-building that basically amounts to just giving things weird names, it’s also filled with terrible messages about body image and self esteem. Truly it’s a miracle if you made it out of this book without a whole new set of insecurities. Highlights of the book include centaurs that are basically just horses, random singing (from us and the characters), and everything having a weird-ass name for no reason. Honestly, just go watch Shrek 2 instead. 

Episode Source Material:

Fairest by Gail Carson Levine

We enter the world of Rick Riordan, Renee’s one time email penpal this week. The Red Pyramid is book one of The Kane Chronicles, a series best described as Egyptian AU The Alchemyst. Sadie and Carter Kane witness their dad get abducted by immortal Endeavor from My Hero Academia, deal with racist cops, and then have to save the world with their pet cat and a baboon who loves basketball. If you were an Anubis simp because of this book series, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

Episode Source Material:

The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan

Back from a brief hiatus, Mary dives into the quintessential YA novel that is Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging. What it lacks in plot it makes up for in pure 90s British humor. Included is a surprising amount of black magic, a shocking amount of incest, and a pleasing amount of one-liners from a toddler. Other highlights include an ongoing lesbian crisis, an unhinged cat, and early Dalgona coffee preparation. 

Episode Source Material:

Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison

We are back with more (and better) Ally Carter! Renee takes Mary into her love of art heists with Heist Society which is essentially a crossover of Catch that Kid and Ocean's 11. This book follows a group of teen thieves who rack up quite the travel bills as they attempt to steal some art. Highlights of this episode include Haikyuu fanfiction, cockney slang trivia, and a horrible rendition of American Pie.

Episode Source Material:

Heist Society by Ally Carter

We have a new champion! This week, Mary dethrones Elsewhere as the worst book on the podcast with A Mango Shaped Space by Wendy Mass, a book with no plot, an unlikable protagonist, incorrect science, and a terrible message. Highlights of this episode include trying to remember the quadratic formula, finding out if the Hail Mary is exclusively Catholic, and becoming Goodreads fact-checkers.

Episode Source Material:

A Mango Shaped Space by Wendy Mass

This week is all about summer vibes and lackluster characters. Renee takes us through Jenny Han's soon to be TV adapted book The Summer I Turned Pretty. The story follows Belly (you read that right) as she navigates the world of teen love, and reminisces on the summers that have shaped her into the girl she now is. She also slut shames her best friend for trying to have a Hot Girl Summer. That's right, Jenny Han invented Hot Girl Summer.

Other stand out moments include a stalker boy who is not portrayed as problematic and Mary teaches Renee some shocking news about Justin Timberlake.

We finally have a book where the author knows what she's talking about when featuring Latin, but at what cost?

Episode Source Material:

The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han

This week, Mary and Renee enter the wild world of bougie New England boarding schools (that might be cults). Reed Brennan escapes her small-town life and abusive household to learn how to gaslight, gatekeep, and girlboss her way to success. Her sights are set on the Billings Girls, the most powerful clique at Easton Academy and the source of Reed’s bi panic. The other half of the panic is her new boyfriend Thomas, the most popular guy at Easton with a classic rich kid angsty background. Strap in for high school drama, a surprising amount of crime, and straight up witchy vibes.

Source Material:

Private by Kate Brian 

We cover our most infamous author yet when Renee revisits her Mortal Instruments obsession by covering City of Bones. This story about a totally normal girl who gets thrown into the world of demons and demon hunters starts off like someone misremembering Blue Bloods. We dive deep into this long story of decent world building, unrealistic dialogue, and Cassandra Clare's notoriety. Surprisingly no references are made to Nic Cage and no songs are sung, but it's still a fun time.

Episode Source Materials: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare