No age gap and an abundance of consent? In a vampire novel? It’s more likely than you’d think. 17-year-old Poppy is diagnosed with terminal cancer, her best friend James (the titular Secret Vampire) has a plan to save her. All they have to do is exchange a little blood, break several laws, and run away together. Unfortunately for them, Poppy’s brother Phil, James’s cousin Ash, and the rest of the Night World aren’t going to make it easy for them. Join Mary as she leads Renee into a world of unsupervised teenagers, black flowers (which may or may not be funeral flowers), and road trips to Vegas.

Episode Source Materials:

Smith, L. J. Night World 1. Secret Vampire / Daughters of Darkness / Spellbinder. Simon Pulse, 2008.

Renee departs from her usual fantasy books to bring us Audition by Stasia Ward Kehoe. To help her explain this toxic dance tale to Mary, their friend Gabi joins the call. Audition tells the story of small town Vermonter, Sara, who moves to the hustle and bustle of suburban New Jersey after winning a scholarship to dance at the Jersey Ballet. This *16-year-old* girl falls apart as she grapples with her relationships with dance and a *22-year-old* dancer named Remington. As Sara deals with the emotional and physical pains of dancing, growing up, and being groomed and gaslighted by an adult, our podcasters dive deep into hand kinks, Barbie in the Nutcracker, and the mysterious blue mountains. Don’t prey on teenagers, y’all.

CW: eating disorders

Episode source materials: Ward Kehoe, Stasia. Audition. Penguin Group (Australia), 2012.

Liz Hall’s life was cut short, but her afterlife feels like it goes on forever. Try to find any shred of plot as Mary explains what happens after you die in Gabrielle Zevin’s, Elsewhere. Liz ages backwards from 15, has a big angst party about it, dates a 35 year old man (which is fine because he only looks 17), and accomplishes exactly 2 things before getting sent back to Earth as a newborn baby. Wear a bike helmet, kids.

Episode Source Material:

Zevin, Gabrielle. Elsewhere. Douglas & McIntyre, 2005. 

Renee is back with her questionable fallen angel content this week as she takes Mary through Blue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz. This book of nothing but exposition follows Schuyler van Alen, your average 15 year old weird yet pretty social outcast, as she finds herself entering the world of New York’s rich and immortal. That’s right, she’s part of an elite group of vampires. As she learns about her true identity, she finds herself dragged into a murder conspiracy by a cute boy who happens to have a very clingy and jealous twin sister. Join us on this journey that includes ancient IVF procedures, a dermatologist moonlighting as a therapist, and a historically inaccurate retelling of Roanoke. How does this relate to fallen angels? You’ll wish you never asked that question by the end.

Episode Source Material:

Life’s rough when you’re a 5’2” left-handed redhead with upper middle class parents and all you want to do is fight the system. Join Mary as she walks Renee through the sea of awkward encounters and teenage angst that is Sam Madison’s life. She goes from loser art kid to national hero after she saves the president from an assassination. Follow along as she refuses to wear anything but black, refuses to eat anything but hamburgers, and refuses to examine anything in her personal life. 

Episode Source Material:

Cabot, Meg. All American Girl. Macmillan Children's, 2002. 

Every great podcast has its chaotic first episode, and this is ours.

Renee talks Mary through the plot of Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick. In this 2009 novel, high schooler Nora finds herself falling in love with a mysterious boy who knows a thing or two about falling himself. This novel features a scarf that has haunted Renee's thoughts for over a decade, sexy taco night, multiple murder attempts, and a red light district JC Penny.

Episode Source Material:

Fitzpatrick, Becca. Hush, Hush. Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, 2009.