In this episode, one of JM's best friends of 25 years, Olatunde Howard, steps into the Dojo to talk about counseling, emotional intelligence, how relationships are destroyed, the Biblical role of therapy, gaslighting, narcissism, and "finding the one"! Olatunde is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Cary, NC. He can be reached at:

https://one-eightycounseling.com/olatunde-howard/

Timestamps:

00:00:00 - Intro

00:02:35 - Who is Olatunde Howard?

00:05:44 - What is “Systems Theory”?

00:07:30 - Why things often get worse before they get better in counseling!

00:12:08 - Why I value Olatunde’s counsel so highly!

00:12:39 - Relationship Red Flag 1: No intentional awareness

00:20:34 - Relationship Red Flag 2: Anxious/Avoidance attachment

00:29:27 - Relationship Red Flag 3: Enmity (and why JM loves the movie “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”!)

00:41:44 - What if you just DON’T share the same interests though?

00:45:27 - The difference between communication and EFFECTIVE communication (in relationships AND theological debates!)

00:54:52 - Figuring out what the argument is ACTUALLY about…and why you don’t have to resolve every issue!

01:04:38 - The proper role of emotion, Divine Impassibility and the model of God towards Sodom and Gomorra!

01:19:45 - Why do we need teachers and professionals?

01:25:49 - “Translating” our emotions

01:27:39 - ‘Gaslighting’, ‘Narcissist’, and ‘OCD’ - popular misuses of psychological terminology

01:45:29 - Olatunde’s thoughts on “finding the one” and “dating Jesus”!

01:55:10 - How people can reach Olatunde

Relationship posts by Olatunde:

* Getting to Know Someone - https://one-eightycounseling.com/getting-to-know-someone/

* How to have an intimate romantic relationship - https://one-eightycounseling.com/how-to-have-an-intimate-romantic-relationship/

* The ONE thing necessary for couples to make it - https://one-eightycounseling.com/the-one-thing-necessary-for-couples-to-make-it/

* Are you too sensitive? - https://one-eightycounseling.com/are-you-too-sensitive/

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