"Infidelity," Esther Perel writes in the October issue of The Atlantic, "happens in bad marriages and in good marriages. It happens even in open relationships where extramarital sex is carefully negotiated beforehand. The freedom to leave or divorce has not made cheating obsolete." Adultery is as ancient as marriage, and as contemporary relationships have evolved, Perel writes, the causes and consequences of infidelity have much to teach us about the nature of commitment.  In this conversation, Perel talks with our hosts about some of those lessons, culled from numerous sessions counseling couples as a psychotherapist.

Perel is the author of Mating in Captivityand the host of "Where Should We Begin?"—an Audible original series entering its second season on October 24th. Her new book, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, is now available in bookstores.

Links:

- "Why Happy People Cheat" (Esther Perel)

- "You Need Help to Help Her" (Esther Perel, "Where Should We Begin?")

- "Muto" (Matt Thompson, Snarkmarket)

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