Why Do We Own That?

Is gratuitous child abuse a good reason to become a serial killer tag-team? How does one become world-famous via a small-town wax museum?  Are the brothers still getting like, mail and stuff?  And most importantly, does Paris Hilton actually believe an internship at InStyle Magazine can support a $3k/month apartment in TriBeCa?

How is THIS the movie that features TWO future Governors?  Is Carl Weathers or Bill Duke the most believable actor in the movie?  How many misogynistic Shane Black jokes is too many?  And most importantly, what did John McTiernan go to jail for?

We're joined by two guests, comedians Jesse Vandenbergh (Bridge and Tunnel at The PIT, Frog Boyz Animation) and Annie Woller (Reckless Theatre) to answer the tough questions, like: If you didn't watch the extended edition, did you even actually watch the film? What, if any, is the connection between Aragorn and Eragon?  And most importantly, what drug is Sam taking that keeps so relentlessly optimistic?

Why would you start a space movie underwater?  Does the whole movie take place over one weekend?  Who made the decision to remove Scotty from 60% of this movie?  And most importantly, should you have let Khan SLEEP?!

Not to nitpick, but how does the virus work at a microbial level?  Can it get ya if you bite your cuticles to short?  Can it get ya if you don't wash your hands well enough and then pick your nose later on?  And most importantly, was this movie ALWAYS THIS BLURRY?

Why do the prawns like cat food so damn much?  Why are the Nigerians so quick to start eating the aliens?  Why is everything about this movie so constantly gross?  And most importantly, who is doing all the filming?

Comedian Molly McGaughey (Everything is Falling Apart) joins us to discuss one of our all-time favorites to answer the important questions like Why did Samuel L. Jackson go to that Circuit Breaker alone during a Dinopocalypse?  Why was that Circuit Breaker not attached to the control room anyway? Do we only believe the Science because it's told to us by a cartoon?  Is now the time for that monologue, Mr. Hammond? And most importantly, why does no one care about the death of Gennaro?

Why do the little girls continue selling cookies once they're out of the orphanage?  Is Dr. Nefario an evil genius, or a bumbling idiot?  How is Vector always in the right place at the right time? And most importantly, what kind of world-ending disasters are caused by the shrinking of the Moon?

We welcome back resident Star Wars Nerd Jessica Ryan Woodard to ask the important questions like: Why is Obi-Wan holding Anakin BACK? Is Ewan McGregor's sex appeal worth 9 theatrical viewings of a movie?  What did sand ever do to Anakin?  And most importantly, who the hell is Sifo-Dyas?

What's Totoro thinking when he stares lifelessly at children?  Are the Soot Sprites at all relevant to anything?  Is it acceptable to ask children you just met to call you Granny?  And most importantly, are the seats inside the CatBus organic structures?  Like, what are they MADE out of?!