Why 'Doing More' Is Backfiring With Your Toddler w/ Ashley Ventrice

Follow Ashley Ventrice:
Instagram: @ashleyventriceco
Ashley on Facebook
Ashley Ventrice Show (podcast)

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit podcast, Heather talks with Ashley Ventrice, a parent, educator, and host of The Ashley Ventrice Show, about how nervous system safety and emotional regulation start with the adults.

 Ashley shares how she built a childcare center designed for both toddlers and parents, including structured play, sensory learning, predictable routines, soft separation for preschool transitions, and a space where parents could stay, connect, and even watch the classroom via live stream.

They discuss simple ways to recreate a calmer play setup at home with a designated play area, toy rotation, and more open-ended play options versus closed-ended toys.

Ashley also shares her health journey after years of over-functioning and people-pleasing, including being gaslit by doctors, pushing for brain and spine MRIs, learning she had a 9mm lesion on her brainstem, and how serious autoimmune illness forced her to slow down, advocate for herself, and set boundaries.

The conversation covers why routine and predictability help both kids and adults, how over-scheduling can stress the whole family, how social media comparison can add pressure, and why parent community matters. Ashley emphasizes modeling emotional regulation for kids by naming feelings, noticing body signals like anxiety, taking deep breaths out loud, and teaching emotional intelligence early. She closes with a message for exhausted moms: rest is allowed, a regulated parent matters more than a perfectly structured day, and listening to your body before it has to scream helps you stay present for your children.

00:00 The Over-Functioner Wake-Up Call: Slow Down Before Your Body Screams
01:00 Welcome + Meet Ashley Ventres (Nervous System, Regulation & Boundaries)
02:52 Inside Ashley’s Childcare Center: Designing Nervous-System Safety for Kids & Parents
06:43 Sensory Play & Space Setup: Montessori-Inspired Zones That Help Toddlers Regulate
08:10 Recreate the Calm at Home: Toy Rotation + Open-Ended Play Tips
11:15 Ashley’s Health Journey: Autoimmune Illness, Medical Gaslighting & Self-Advocacy
15:31 Learning to Rest + Set Boundaries (and Handling the Pushback)
19:14 Modeling Regulation: Teaching Toddlers Emotional Literacy, Anxiety & Coping Skills
23:47 Routines for Everyone: Predictability, Over-Scheduling & Slowing Family Life Down
27:32 Comparison, Community & Mom Connection: You’re Not Alone
31:04 Final Message: A Regulated Mom Matters More Than a Perfect Day + Where to Find Ashley

------------------------------------------------------
"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Calm Superpower Cohort.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog