Why Will No One Date These Guys?

Omigod. No, your eyes aren't deceiving you, here's an actual episode with dating advice from a podcast allegedly about dating culture. Shocking, huh?

Joel and Naomi talk about date ideas in the metro-Phoenix area, breaking it down into categories that should be helpful for even non-Phoenicians to plan dates around. Some of these could be good first date suggestions, but most are things you would probably enjoy more with an SO you've been together with for a while. Most of these will probably appeal to our demo, the 20 to 40 crowd - don't complain to us for the lack of liver-spot clinic recommendations or whatever else the old folks are into these days. 

We launched a Google Places Map in May that keeps track of all of these places and many many more. If you subscribe to our Patreon for just $5/month, you can access that, episodes ahead of time, bts material, and occasionally merch. 

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

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Okay, first things first, we're three days short of our one-year anniversary. Yeah, we get it. No one cares. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Joel and Naomi get together to catch up with some past guests, revel in their triumphs from the first year, talk about areas we can approve, and strategize about the year ahead. If you're joining us late, we make some recommendations of episodes to listen to in order to absorb the best lessons we've provided over the past year. I mean, you should listen to all of them, just to be sure, but especially the ones we mention. Thanks for a great first 362 days, y'all!

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

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Naomi and Len team up to mentally damage Joel with details of Netflix's new hit, The Ultimatum, a 10part gameshow series which permanently destroys any Western notion of the "sanctity of marriage." Apparently couples who are on the rocks find new partners to date for 3 weeks and then try to rebuild their relationship with their partner or move on for greener pastures? This is a terrible idea, but we discuss why Netflix made such a thing and how dating shows created just for drama can improve both their structure and how deeply they impact the participants.

All credit to Netflix for use of their poster. We have no interest in making off with their intellectual property. If you can even call this property "intellectual."

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

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Hey, y'all. It took us a while to find something useful to say about this recent abortion debacle; our initial thought was just to primal-scream into the mic for an hour, but we think others have done much better jobs doing that than we could hope to. Instead, we spend this episode talking about the potential impacts of the Supreme Court striking down Roe v Wade, who's to blame, and things you should be doing to prepare for the worst. Some raw and unfiltered feelings in this ep; slightly meaner than our usual fare, but still meant to be constructive.

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

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And we're back, blah blah blah, more Steve Harvey, you get the spiel.

We go for another dip into the misogynistic and deeply confusing dating advice of Steve Harvey.  Joel and Naomi talk about Steve's view that all men need is "Support, Love, and the Cookie," how men hate small talk and women concern themselves far too much with minutia,  why women need to understand that all men approaching them only want sex, how men only respect women who set standards, questions Steve thinks will conclusively determine if you should continue dating someone, and the "Ninety Day Rule." It's all bad, folks, but we get some good laughs out as well as some good discussion about why multimillionaires shouldn't be writing advice books of any kind.

We refuse to provide links to Steve Harvey's books on this podcast. Go support your local library if reading it means so much to you.

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)

Support the show

Some people have said we're doing too many book episodes and not enough dating episodes. We pondered that, mulled it over for a few weeks, and decided to take that to heart by combining a book on dating advice with actual conversation about dating standards. And the results were...not good.

Steve Harvey makes his first appearance on our podcast, by virtue of his poorly named "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." In it, he tells women the true secrets of the male mindset and gives them the information he thinks they need to know to succeed while dating. And that advice? Pretty darn misogynistic, kinda racist at times, and certainly not worthy of the 64 weeks it spent on the NYT best seller list. Joel and Naomi tackle the first third of the book, confronting such bold statements as "men are simple beings," men won't love anyone until they feel successful," and men only show love by "professing, providing, and protecting" those they care about.  Good, intelligent stuff all around and well worth a listen.

We refuse to provide links to Steve Harvey's books on this podcast. Go support your library if reading it means so much to you.

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)

Support the show

Joel and Naomi continue their discussion with sex educator Joe Russo, pivoting to his prsonal experiences and time in the field. Discussions of funny stories and what not to tell your students as a sexual educator, commence.  Sex ed is hard y'all. If you feel you ever need to explain awkward concepts to friends or family, this might be a good one to check out.

Danny Devito, we're still waiting for your call.  

Looking for a place to donate or help out? Joe suggests you check out the Arizona Public Health Association and Arizona Family Health Partnership. We concur. We also strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

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Joel and Naomi bring in a very special guest, Joe Russo, a former Arizona sex educator. In true DTG fashion, we wanted to treat him like any other guest, so we recorded 3 audio tracks and Joel promptly wrote over 2 of them. Good stuff. Joe discusses his past relationships, his journey towards sex education, problems with how sex education is done in America, and specific critiques of Arizona sex ed (looking at you, Doug Ducey). Some really good insights here on public policy and specifically bad curricula. 

Looking for a place to donate or help out? Joe suggests you check out the Arizona Public Health Association and Arizona Family Health Partnership. We concur. We also strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

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Back for Part 2?  Weird. We normally have a dropoff of about a third of our viewers from part 1 of our episodes to part 2. Pat yourself on the back for remaining committed to your intellectual self improvement. No, please, take the time to do so. You've earned it.

Joel and Naomi continue discussing marriage, finally emerging from the depths of the Middle Ages to discuss modern times. Purity culture, age of consent, abstinence, counseling, and the birth control pill all rear their heads and  help explain how marriage ends up in its modern state.  That's not to say we accept everything at face value: we have a couple critiques of the text that we bring in during this episode.

You can find copies of Marriage, a History, here.

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

Support the show

50 episodes in and we're finally answering a question we broached in the first month of our podcast, why exactly do people get married and how have marriage patterns changed from the past to the modern day. What can we say, we're nothing but timely. Speaking of which, is anyone else excited for the last season of Game of Thrones? We're a little behind but excited to see how the showrunners wrap it all up. It would be hard to bungle a media franchise this big and important.

Naomi calls Joel in to discuss Marriage, a History, by Stephanie Coontz, a condensed discussion of the historical roots of marriage and how different cultures changed the meaning and importance of marriage over time. Part 1 has us talking about the modern "crisis" of marriage and some of the reasons people thing marriage rates have chanaged, before we get into how the earliest cultures stumbled into pairing-arrangements.  Part 2 will explore more modern perceptions of marriage and romance as we approach the modern era of dating in the 21st Century.

The Dollop on Purity Balls can be found here.

You can find copies of Marriage, a History, here.

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. 

Support the show