Why Will No One Date These Guys?

2022 is the year to go all out and try new things (as we discussed a few weeks ago, the two stands for "Too Much Fun"), so Joel and Lauren are back in the studio with a new type of episode. Joel presents a collection of relationship-related posts from Reddit's online etiquette forum "Am I the Asshole," and discusses the intricacies of each question and whether the asker was in the right to act a certain way or totally botched each situation. If you've ever wondered how to handle extremely specific relationship scenarios, we're got some perspectives that may help you out.

As always, if you have a thorny relationship problem, feel free to send it to [email protected]. No promises on the quality of our answers, but we'll at least give it a shot.

As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. 

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Welcome back, to the second episode of a sibling-based podcast with only one sibling. Naomi needed to...I dunno...return some videotapes,  so Joel was left alone to interview his pal Noah about dating with a background in Speech and Debate and dating in higher education/the Ivy League. Look this isn't a "Bad Faith" podcast situation where the whole premise is two hosts but one has mysteriously disappeared and the other refuses to comment on what happened to them; sometimes just life gets in the way, okay?

Joel and Noah talk about their past at a liberal arts school, the role inquisitive minds play in dating, how open-mindedness can actually be a drawback in relationships, dating at Harvard and the general area), how your choice of college degree can really effect your dating prospects, and a whole gamut of other things .  They do get a little crass, but nothing that should deeply offend the sensibilities of people.

The movie clip is from the Social Network (the intro scene where Jesse Eisenberg is a dick to his girlfriend). That's right, we use the word "dick" now - this podcast is really shifting into high gear in 2022.

The intro music is from "The Boys are Back in Town," by Thin Lizzy. 

As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.

We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.

Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. 

Support the show

And we're back with part 2 of our discussion of Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That," a book on recognizing abusive patterns in relationships. We continue our discussion by diving into types of abuse, the characteristics of abusers, when the Queen of England is going to die, and the siblings brainstorm writing a Predator-style action film starring only abuser archetypes. This is best appreciated by listening to part one, but we do summarize the content of that at the top of the episode. 

You can find a copy of "Why Does He Does That?" here.

Our apologies to Jaleel Ahmad White for the use of his likeness.

Joel enjoyed "Gone Girl," which is a pretty straightforward murder mystery by David Fincher. Even if you don't see the movie, the trailer (like most Fincher trailers) is great. 

Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here. 

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Opening 2022 with a bang, we've got Naomi finally back in the studio to discuss "Why Does He Do That," a early 2000s book on relationship abuse by Lundy Bancroft (we don't think there's been a more recent edition published, but there really needs to be given all the post-MeToo developments in modern culture). We discuss general stats on abuse in America, abusive relationships in media, and debunk some stats people have about the general profile of abusers.  Shockingly, we keep this conversation mostly cheerful; might just be all the holiday cheer reserves we saved up in December.

You can find a copy of "Why Does He Does That?" here.

Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here. 

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Well it finally happened. Naomi went off on vacation without Joel, leaving him alone to defend the house from comedic intruders. Will he have time in-between fashioning improvised and  frighteningly deadly traps to record a podcast episode by himself, or will Christmas (fine, the week of January 3rd) be ruined?   

Joel chats this week about anti-trans rhetoric, responses to common attacks against trans people, and the media ecosystem surrounding trans rights, all in one take. Look, if Birdman can get Oscar hype for shooting a whole 2 hour movie in one take, doing an hour-long podcast episode in one should be worth something. (in all seriousness, Birdman is awesome. Go see it)

Here's a good eggnog recipe. Don't double it; one batch is more than enough.

Here is a link to Dr Julia Serano's Medium blog. She has multiple articles covering trans issues and has written several books on the topic.

Here is the Current Affairs piece with Dr Serano.

Here is a link to the video Shaun did on the BBC article I cite.

Here is a link to The Killer's "All These Things I've Done." It's a bop.

As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.

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Our tanks are nearly empty as we make a final pass over this year, but we figured we had just enough in us to get out one more episode before the sun finally sets on 2021.  No, we're not making any generalizations about how 2022 is going to be; let's just all cross our fingers and hope for the best.

This week we discuss the reasons relationships lose their spark over time, techniques to bring that shine back (including the importance of doing new things), and why you should set some SMART goals for 2022.  One of ours is going to involve getting drunk and watching the surefire Owen Wilson smash hit "Marry Me," a movie which will definitely have no problematic messages about love, relationships, or Owen Wilson's actual acting ability.  So turn up the Yule log, gather round the podcast player with a bowl of chestnuts, and tune in to the last WWNDTG episode of 2021. 

Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here. 

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Say what you will about 2021, but at least it's nearly over, right? Sure, it went on a little past it's best -by date, but in only a week or so it will be confined to the annals of history. That said, it isn't going down easy, and we're here to talk about some of the recent events which may impact 2022 moving forward.   This week we're discussing Ghislaine Maxwell (we're not fans), parental leave and sexual misconduct bills in Washington, sexism/harassment in the gaming industry, and the future of abortion in America. So get yourself a cup of cocoa and warm yourself by the light of your incandescent Christmas tree bulbs as we tell you about the latest and greatest events of December.

Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here. 

Given that abortion rights in America are going to vanish sometime before the next fiscal year, we figured now was the time to provide some clarity on what the procedure actually entails, misconceptions people have about abortion, and, just for laughs, throw some moral arguments into the pot (apologies to all of our English teachers who told us never to discuss this in public). This is less fun and whimsical than some of our other episodes, but at least Joel doesn't try to provide thoughtful introspection about the state of our modern world (mostly), so we consider it marginally more listenable in that regard. 

If you need guidance on how to obtain an abortion in your area, please check out Episode 17, where we give you some specific guidance on how to do so.

If you need recommendations on where to find doctors who can assist with tube-tying or vasectomies, check out this list.

If you want to discuss whether or not to get an abotion with non-judgemental individuals, check out All Options.

Current Affairs article on progressive approaches to abortion can be found here.

Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here. 

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31 episodes in and we're finally tackling the elephant in the room, the on-going crisis that's been making it difficult to date for years. No, not capitalism, (we understand how you could be confused), but rather the unending covid-19 pandemic and all the roadblocks to dating it's put up. We dig into predictions about how covid would affect dating from early 2020, discuss our own experiences, and then dig into 2021's "Singles in America" survey, which interviewed 5000 American singles to determine what people should be doing to make themselves more eligible in these trying times.

Find the "Singles in America" overview and survey data here. 

Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.

Support the show

Support the show