Will & Luke Discuss

Will & Luke Discuss

By Will & Luke DiscussEducationSelf-Improvement
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Will & Luke Discuss episodes

  • #6 Mindset (Carol Dweck, 2006)

    Fixed mindset or Growth mindset? What is a mindset?

    This episode, we look at the two mindsets that Carol Dweck describes. Though we aren't one or the other in every situation, it's interesting to consider where we might hold a little lighter our perceptions of our own intelligence, ability and skill. We discuss how our language and inner narratives effects our mindset; how mindset impacts our relationships, work lives and interactions; and how our upbringing effects our conditions of worth, and how this impacts us during challenges and rejections. Finally, we discuss ways to change our mindsets through embracing them, understanding our triggers, and seeking feedback to inform more daring decisions.

    Hope you enjoy. 

    Will & Luke.   

    • 00:00 Introduction 
    • 1:45 How are mindsets affect our view  on our intelligence, abilities and skill (Fixed Mindset + Growth Mindset) 
    • 5:30 The language we use and stories we tell ourselves in Fixed or Growth mindsets 
    • 9:00 How each mindset relates to failure 
    • 13:00 What is a Mindset? (unconscious beliefs) 
    • 17:40 Relationships (Romance, Issues, Friendships) 
    • 24:45 Shyness, Forgiveness and Rejection (Growth mindset as a cure for fixed mindset anxiety) 
    • 37:45 Jealousy (based on perception of where we are at) (Social media impact) 
    • 46:45 How to change mindset through sharing more of ourselves (work examples) (Understanding triggers) 
    • 55:00 Realistically analysing how long tasks will take (Process vs Outcome) 
    • 58:25 4 step journey  to Change your mindset. Embracing current mindset, understanding your triggers, name it - specific circumstance, educate your mindset - feedback, choosing difficult tasks. 
    • 1:02:00 Conditions of worth and inner narrative during challenge 
    • 1:10:50 Self perception and ability to judge our abilities (easier during growth mindset) 
    • 1:14:00 Sharing creative endeavours (when we've staked our identity in them) 
    • 1:17:00 Receiving feedback (listen to specifics)  
    • 1:21:30 Final reflections  

      • Purchase the book at: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/44330/mindset-by-carol-s-dweck-phd/

      This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/Dl-e1XLtWLY

      Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos

      Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW

      Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365

      Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

      Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

      1 hr 27 min
    • #5 Atomic Habits (James Clear, 2018)

      Habits, Motivation, Action!  

      This episode we chat about our favourite ideas from Will's number one book of 2019. Based on the idea that small incremental daily changes lead to big results, we unpack the four aspects of building good habits (making them obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying) and how to recover from bad ones (making them difficult, invisible, unattractive and unsatisfying). We cover concepts of habit stacking, reframing our associations, establishing habits before improving upon them, anticipation versus rewards, how to bring the unconscious into the conscious through pointing and calling, and how to measure and maintain our habits.   

      Hope you enjoy. 

      Will & Luke  

      • 00:00 Introductions
      • 01:05 What is a habit? Cue, Craving, Response, Reward 
      • 07:05 Habits as Identity (In the context of once of decisions) 
      • 15:10 Reframing association 
      • 17:50 Utilizing habits - Cue  
      • 19:00 Luke's morning routine (Obvious, attractive, easy, satisfying) 
      • 22:35 Establish before improving 
      • 26:25 Reducing the friction 
      • 30:00 Showing up  
      • 31:00 Habit stacking (pro's + cons) 
      • 36:55 How to recovery when habits break down (all or nothing) 
      • 42:20 Anticipation of rewards/goals (valuing the process) 
      • 49:00 Minimizing bad habits (Will and phone use - make it difficult, invisible, unattractive, unsatisfying) 
      • 59:45 Don't miss twice and negative spirals 
      • 1:03:00 Bad habits as a cue (Behaviors that are rewarded immediately is repeated, punished immediately is avoided) 
      • 1:04:45 Pointing and calling (Bringing the unconscious into consciousness) 
      • 1:09:00 Measuring your habits and behaviors - Habit tracking 
      • 1:12:50 How to re-inforce habits throughout the day 
      • 1:15:40 Reviewing habits and maintenance of habits 
      • 1:19:15 Final reflections  

        • Buy the book at: https://jamesclear.com/

        This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/AEh9G0mTR7U

        Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos

        Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW

        Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365

        Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

        Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

        1 hr 28 min
      • #4 Lying (Sam Harris, 2011)

        We explore neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris's short book on Lying.

        Watching back over this, it's certainly one of our favourites. It's a nice one to jump back to and remind ourselves to be as truthful as possible -- both to ourselves and in our relationships -- and to take every opportunity to strengthen that muscle of telling the truth.

        We discuss: Harris's definitions of lying, deception, and lies of omission and commission; how lying affects the view we have of ourselves, our desires, and reality; the impacts lying has on our relationships, with suggestions on how we can change our language to be more compassionate and not recoil from intimacy; what it means to have an internal vs external locus of evaluation; and the impact technology has on our relationships.

        Hope you enjoy. 

        Will & Luke    

        • 00:15 Introduction 
        • 02:15 Thoughts on impact of book 
        • 05:15 Use of tact 
        • 06:15 Providing feedback and receiving praise 
        • 10:45 How Sam defines Lying, Deception, Omission & Commission 
        • 16:15 White Lies 
        • 22:45 How Lying affects relationships (Grant relationships the depth they deserve) 
        • 29:00 Truthfulness to ourselves (values and desires) 
        • 32:00 Example of how lying weakens our truth muscle (and how to strengthen through language) 
        • 42:05 When we lie to others, we trust them less 
        • 45:00 Truth as the antidote to suffering. Saying what we know to be true, stop saying things we know not to be. (Paying attention to our internal reaction) 
        • 52:45 How we read others in response to our words/reactions 
        • 54:25 Impact of technology on our ability to read each other 
        • 56:15 Integrity, Honesty and Congruency 
        • 1:06:25 Locus of evaluation (internal vs external)
        • 1:12:30 Final reflections (truth being a mirror to our wants, how this effects our view of self and our relationships) + (Not compassionate to distorting others reality and your own)

          • This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C-o0BpA6r0

          Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos

          Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW

          Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365

          Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

          Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

          1 hr 21 min
        • #3 The Road Less Travelled (M. Scott Peck, 1978)

          Got to put this one up there as one of our favourites, a seminal book that really caught our eye. We dig into the stand out chapters on Discipline and Love.  In Discipline, we discuss concepts around delaying gratification for the betterment of our future, the importance of taking responsibility, and facing life head on with a dedication to the truth. Plus, how we can balance these concepts in our life when looking to instigate change and personal growth. In Love, we unpack Peck's definition of love as a dedication to another's spiritual growth, whilst giving some time to the outline the risks we must confront in love. Themes of visualisation and adopting a language of responsibility pop up too.  

          Hope you enjoy.

          Will & Luke  

          • 00:15 Introductions 
          • 6:15 What this book is about - overview & themes  
          • 7:15 Discipline (Delaying gratification, taking responsibility, dedication to the truth & balancing) 
          • 17:35 Taking responsibility vs Avoidance/Deflecting/Procrastinating 
          • 22:45 Language around responsibility 
          • 24:15 Instigators for change and 'deaths' 
          • 32:00 Growth defined (courage and intentions for growth) 
          • 36:10 Visualization (imagery)  
          • 39:05 Acceptance and allowing 
          • 41:25 Intention setting and attitude adjustment 
          • 46:45 Dedication to truth and the challenge of confronting old schemas 
          • 52:45 Love - defined by S.Peck (risk of independence, risk of commitment, love as separateness, love as discipline & being dedicated to another's spiritual growth) 
          • 59:30 Self serving in love and jealousy. How to counteract this. 
          • 1:03:00 Well-being dependent on others & ego boundaries in love (Love as separateness) 
          • 1:06:30 Risk of commitment (the risk of self confrontation and change) 
          • 1:17:25 Attitudes, words and behaviours in aid of spiritual growth 
          • 1:19:35 Love as discipline (balance between order and chaos within relationships) 
          • 1:23:15 Growth and grace section overview (Entropy and laziness) 
          • 1:30:15 Final thoughts   

            • Where to buy the book: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/the-road-less-travelled-9781846041075

            This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zjubnfe974

            Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos

            Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW

            Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365

            Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

            Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.


            1 hr 34 min
          • #2 Reinventing Your Life (Young & Klosko, 1993)

            This episode we spoke about Young & Klosko's book 'Re-inventing Your Life'. We looked past the cringe-worthy title and took a deep dive into the schemas that affect our world-view and behaviours. We dissected each of the 11 'Life Traps' that emerge out of our most basic (unmet) needs. We unpack where these come from, how they persist, how to cope, and what we can do to challenge them and bring about new ways of living and relating.

            Hope you enjoy.

            Will & Luke  

            • 00:15 Introductions 
            • 03:45 Schemas, Schema Therapy and CBT 
            • 07:15 Life traps defined 
            • 09:30 Why we repeat our life traps (Maladaptive systems of behaviour) 
            • 12:15 Overview of the book 
            • 16:45 The abandonment life trap (under Basic Safety) 
            • 20:35 Mistrust and Abuse life trap (under Basic Safety) 
            • 26:35 Dependence life trap  (under Autonomy and Functioning independently) 
            • 31:05 Vulnerability life trap (under Autonomy and Functioning independently) 
            • 34:35 Emotional deprivation life trap (under Strength and Connection to others) 
            • 45:08 Social exclusion life trap (under Strength and Connection to others) 
            • 50:15 Defectiveness life trap (under Self esteem) 
            • 56:25 Failure life trap (under Self esteem) 
            • 1:03:25 Subjugation life trap (under Expression)  
            • 1:15:43 Unrelenting standards life trap (under Expression) 
            • 1:21:20 Entitlement life trap (under Accepting realistic limits) 
            • 1:29:37 Coping Styles (Surrender, Escape and Counter attack) 
            • 1:34:55 How to address life traps and the 8 ways to do so. 
            • 1:53:00 Obstacles to change 
            • 2:06:30 Final thoughts

              • Where to buy the book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/327709/reinventing-your-life-by-jeffrey-e-young/

              This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym5UpqdwTMI

              Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos

              Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW

              Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365

              Listen to us on Google Podcasts:https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

              Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

              2 hr 11 min
            • #1 Attached (Levine & Heller, 2010)

              This was our first podcast - great to get the ball rolling on a shared interest after 28 years of friendship.

              We talked about the three attachment styles -- Anxious, Secure and Avoidant -- where these come from, how they play out in romantic relationships, how people can bring greater awareness to their own style, and how to better communicate one's needs. We looked at protest behaviours exhibited by the anxious among us and the de-activating strategies of the avoidants. We also discussed the anxious-avoidant trap, compatibility vs chemistry, and the impact of technology on each of the attachment styles.

              Hope you enjoy. 

              Will & Luke  

              • 0:15 Introductions and the anxious attachment style 
              • 03:45 How the anxious attachment style develops 
              • 07:05 Book overview 
              • 08:55 Summary of secure attachment style 
              • 17:05 Summary of avoidant attachment style 
              • 22:25 Origins of attachment systems in human romance, relationships and dependence 
              • 32:15 Intimacy triggering the threat system in avoidant styles 
              • 33:23 Object relations theory (Need for Independence and Connection) 
              • 36:05 Deactivating strategies in avoidant styles ('The Phantom- Ex' and 'The One') 
              • 41:15 'Push & Pull' relationships 
              • 43:30 Anxious-Avoidant trap 
              • 47:00 When avoidant styles let their guard down (earned security) and development of defenses 
              • 52:15 Non-Violent Communication and communication of needs in relationships 
              • 1:11:15 Why do avoidant people find secure people such a challenge? And how a relationship like this could work? And the effect of chemistry. 
              • 1:24:00 Long term monogamy as the norm implied? 
              • 1:26:00 Impact of technology and travel on the 3 attachment styles 
              • 1:31:00 Deciphering between being anxious/avoidant or just incompatible? 
              • 1:39:55 The importance of having people to mirror back your attachment patterns 
              • 1:50:00 Summary of styles and strategies 
              • 1:53:15 Final thoughts on how attachment plays out. (Avoidant = Dismissing. Anxious - Preoccupied)  

                • Get the book: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/

                This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/oUcxz9ZB8UA

                Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos

                Listen to us on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW

                Listen to us on Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365

                Listen to us on Google Podcast:https://www.google.com/podcastsfeed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

                Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.

                2 hr 4 min

              About Will & Luke Discuss

              From the publisher's feed

              Lifelong friends, Will (Mental Health Social Worker, Australia) and Luke (Psychotherapist, UK), discuss influential books on personal growth, across fields of Psychology, Psychotherapy, Philosophy, Self-help and more.

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