Someday, this podcast will have fan merch, and the first shirt Emily and Ky offer will just be covered in w’s, but the second one will say something like “Let Donald Duck Chill” as long as they can do that without being sued because, damn, he is a friend of the pod, and the ultimate weirdo, and he is so clearly being set up at all times. Is this video about Donald Duck? No! Is Donald Duck the narrator? No! Is he inexplicably and utterly unnecessarily still in it as an incompetent artist, and doctor who dispenses giant golden keys that are a metaphor for birth control? Yes! Disney is at it again with a simultaneously progressive and wildly sexist, at times surprisingly disturbing, always incredibly vague video about…family planning. Are you ready? Probably not, but let’s go! Oh yeah, did I mention this is the REEEEEEMIIIIIX episode? Emily’s a little drunk, Ky’s a little high, and they both have a lot to say about Texas’ bullshit abortion law. That is, if they can remember if they announced the topic yet.

Emily and Ky are back in person to report on this seminal work, the man, the myth, the sponge: Sponge-Bob Squarepants! And they don't have to tell you, it's weird! What laws govern the sponge universe? Was Sponge-Bob adopted? Was Glove World...really supposed to be Glove World? What does all this have to do with Emily's hygiene habits in the shower? This special episode features zero fact-checks, but a bunch of stuff that Emily and Ky heard somewhere that may or may not be true! You won't want to miss Emily and Ky talking about (and to) Ky's cat Captain! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? You do, mother fucker!

It's been a while since Emily and Ky discussed a song, and this one's a DOOZIE! Are the Shaggs an all-female proto-punk rock band who needs to be on your radar...or just some unfortunate teens under duress who cannot wheel time signatures? Can they be both? Was this song written specifically so a couple of inebriated weirdos could emphatically discuss it fifty years later? Is this band composed of sea-dwellers? What kind of a name is Foot Foot?? There's a lot to cover. You're welcome.

Buckle up! Emily and Ky are delving deep into their personal history (and revealing more details for your string-and-pin boards in your basement) to share with you the weirdest school assembly speakers they can remember! You won't want to miss Ky's musical stylings, Emily's high school accidentally teaching her being drunk is fun, or their tips for having fun drug-free fun in a small town! Do they spend the first ten minutes just talking about trying to be normal humans again after lock down? Absolutely! Tune in for your weekly helping of Mona Lisa sewage!

Put up your snake arm! It’s never too late to learn how to handle bullies (and/or gang members??), but it’s definitely too late for those pleated front pants…or maybe not? Emily’s girlfriend has a pair! And when you're recording in the past, can you ever know which episodes have the least listens?? As usual, we’ve got more questions than answers. Put some candy in your pocket, grab a magazine, and come along as Emily and Ky learn how to be street smart! Bully Smart is wildly weird, but maybe not as weird as school...or men!