Annnnnnd we're back! Did you miss us? That's a rhetorical question, of course you did! We are diving right in to Season 2, episode 1. After that doozy of a purple-smoke-filled cliffhanger, magic has in fact returned to Storybrooke. Which is great for absolutely no one except for maybe Rumplestiltskin. We also get some first glimpses into what the heck has been happening in the Enchanted Forest while Reginal played 'Westview'. One hint for you: implied polyamory. There are wraiths (colloquially known as soul suckers), performance issues, relationship betrayals, and portal hopping. It's a BAD time!

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Since we gave you the drunken precap last week, we thought it was only fair to this week bring you the Sober Recap*! Locally Famous Matthew Winter, joined by Resident Ella-ologist Keiliy Winter, walks us through season 1 episode by episode, at least what he remembered of the show. Find out what things he found to be most important, what things were left out, and how many episodes are in Season 1, according to him!

For the full experience, go to our YouTube to see the slides. (YouTube might not be updated for a few days... apologies!) 

*Dee and Lo were not sober 

We return next week, May 22nd, with new episodes! 

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Since we notoriously have forgotten season two existed in the past, we decided the best use of our time would be to drink a lot (like...a lot!), read the Disney Plus summary for each episode, and share what we remembered episode by episode. It's safe to say our version makes about as much sense as the lore of the show itself... so enjoy! And see you on May 22nd to find out just how accurate our recollections were!

Featuring: crinkling wrappers while Dee and Lo eat cheese, clinking of wine glasses, and the ambient video game sounds from Dee's partner. It's a BAD time. 

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Hey, did you guys know that Red ATE HER BOYFRIEND? Apparently we say it a lot. . . 

Just a little less than a month until Season 2! We can't wait to be back with new episodes in a few short weeks.

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Hello friends! We have a few weeks to go before we make our grand return for Season 2 (May 22nd!), but we wanted to take some time to walk you through some of the HOT NONSENSE that is that special features DVD for Season 1. From the deleted scenes (of which there are good ones that SHOULD have stayed in!), to the puzzling, baffling, slightly erotic, and apparently canonical GMA spoof, Good Morning Storybrooke, there is a lot to unpack here. It's a bad time and we have nothing else to say but we're so very sorry. 

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We did it. We have arrived at the FINAL episode of season 1. And we are so very sorry to everyone that has stuck around this long. You might be eligible for financial compensation, we just don't know. After 21 episodes of tomfoolery and hot nonsense, Emma finally believes in magic! She teams up alongside Regina to save Henry, fails to save Henry, and then gives him true love's kiss which ultimately saves Henry. In the Enchanted Forest, David is gifted a magic 'hot/cold' ring so he can help find Snow and hopefully bring her back to life (spoiler alert: he does). So it's better for everyone. 

Lo and Dee go through their favorite (and least favorite) season moments, as well as wrap up their lists one last time. It's a BAD time!  

We will see you all May 22nd for Season 2!

And great news-- Magic is Coming!

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We've arrived at the penultimate episode! Just one more to go, which means just one episode for the show to wrap up every loose end. Will they manage to do it? We just don't know! 

Emma, after careful consideration, decides that kidnapping a child is PROBABLY not in her best interest and instead decides to try and work things out with Regina. It actually goes really well and Regina ends up making Emma a dessert as a thank you treat. Only she must have misread the ingredients because the apple turnover landed Henry in a sleeping curse!

Also Red ate a stranger! It's a bad time.

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Could it be? Do we finally figure out who the heck August Booth is? Do we finally get a reveal? 

This time, the answer is YES! At long last, August Booth is revealed to be none other than... Pinocchio. Because why not! This is definitely a satisfying moment and doesn't at all leave us wondering why they spent eight episodes teasing that he was a writer. Once again, the Blue Fairy continues to stack up evidence against her evilness, this time in allowing Geppetto to literally lie to Snow White and Charming on how the magic wardrobe works. A bizarre choice. 

Oh, and also, EMMA KIDNAPS A CHILD.

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Could it be? Do we finally figure out who the heck August Booth is? Do we finally get a reveal? 

Nope. Absolutely not, you'll have to tune in next week for that! But what we do get is a highly questionable plan brought to you by August himself, a sad tale about how Rumplestiltskin's son was brought to a land without magic (by a MAGIC BEAN NO LESS!), and further proof that the Blue Fairy is in fact the true villain of the show and has been given too much power. It's a bad time!

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At long last, we get Regina's villain origin story! And now, it is not because she was angry that Snow was prettier than her, like episode one would like to have us believe. No, no. It's much more tragic than that. 

Unrelated entirely, this episode is also Regina's first 'True Love's Kill': that interesting phenomenon where ANYONE she falls in love with ends up dead. Funny how that works out! 

For once, it isn't a complete bad time!

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