Just WHAT did happen in season 3? Honestly... we have no idea. But that isn't going to stop us from talking about it!

It's a BAD time!

We have finally come upon the penultimate episode of the season! Marty McSavior and Doc Hook have to fix the past so that Marty doesn't accidentally fuck his mom! Or something like that. Emma dons a princess gown and becomes everything she never wanted to be, and STILL manages to royally fuck up the past and possibly her very future.

It's a BAD time!

Wow, sorry for yelling, but we really don't have time for that. We have NO time to sit and dwell on the fact that Mary Margaret had her baby stolen from her yet again. Or that Emma had her magic taken from her. Or that Zelena was melted in the most graphic way ever. Or that Rumple made a marital promise to Belle and then broke it 5 seconds later.

We just don't have time.

but it IS a bad time!

Curses are broken! Hearts are broken! Hot people are kissing! What more could you possibly want from an episode of Once Upon a Time? Except perhaps some consistency. But we all know that's just too much to ask!

Memories are restored (thanks to Regina, the Reformed), and sacrifices are made (RIP Charming). But the most important thing is THE HOT PEOPLE ARE KISSING!

It's a BAD time!

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Remember how Mary Margaret murdered Cora? Yeah, well, so does Cora! Or at least her vengeful spirit does! In an attempt to understand why Zelena hates Regina so much, the gang holds a seance to speak with the dead. And while this doesn't really work.... at ALL, we do get some more Cora backstory and further confirmation that Eva was just a bitch.

It's a BAD time!

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We love that Ariel's existence is at least consistently centralized about looking for Eric. Why does she lose him so easily? Is everything okay? Is he purposely trying to leave her because she's obsessed with him?

Thankfully we don't have to speculate these questions tooooo much because GREAT news: Ariel is actually Zelena in disguise. Don't worry about it

In other news, Hook might have intimate relations with his ship.

It's a BAD time!

Oh good! It's the Zelena backstory that no one asked for! Other than being a weak attempt to make us feel any sort of empathy for our muppet witch, this episode serves ONLY to point out how badly she wants that Dark One D. It's embarrassing for her, honestly. And as Cora apparently taught us, you should never bring your heart to a witch fight. So that's on her!

It's a BAD time!

We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce.

** Disclaimer; due to some recording issues, the episode has some issues starting around the 45 minute mark. Apologies for the inconvenience- we are looking at some solutions for future recordings! **

Ding dong the Neal is Dead!...again? We've been here before, I recognize that corpse! But when has reusing plots ever stopped this show before? Neal returns only to die shortly after in one of the most truly upsetting ways. But on the plus side, he brought back the dark one with help from Lumiere before biting the bullet...

It's a BAD time!

Don't you just love it when the entire B plot exists in a past that no one remembers and the A plot copies the entire B plot in an attempt to create a through line but ultimately just makes you wonder what the entire point of the episode is? No? Weird! We thought everyone loved that!

That's it. We don't have anything else to say.

It's a BAD time!