A disgraced fairy and an evil queen walk into a bar . . .

That's not a joke, that's just the entire plot of the episode, and that is 100% accurate. Aside from continuing to drag us slowly and mercilessly through Neverland, we get some fun Tinker Bell lore. And by fun we mean mostly useless aside from the fact that with Tinker Bell comes Robin Hood! And we love him! In other news, Emma continues to be an orphan, David continues to be dying, and Henry continues to be kidnapped.

It's a BAD time!

We know episode one was a doozy. But at LEAST episode two is plot heavy and really helps us understand why we are in Neverland.

Oh wait. That is a different show. Our beloved OUaT is many things. Consistent is not one of them.

On episode two of our eternal trek in Neverland, Emma decides that after finally having the family she always wanted, she still feels like an Orphan. This realization somehow makes it so she can find her son, because internal compasses run on brokenness, right? In the Enchanted Forest of the past, Snow White finds Fake Excalibur and learns how to fight because David loved her so much, he was willing to lie to her face.

Oh! And Rumplestiltskin hallucinates Belle.

It's a BAD time!

We're back, bitches! While this was certainly a longer break than we planned on, we are THRILLED to be back with season three! It is by FAR our favorite season and we cannot wait to dive into all of the nuances and exceptional plot points, including moments such as: Emma decides she is glad her parents are here, Emma decides this is all her parents' faults, and last but not least, Emma tries to punch god.

If the sarcasm wasn't clear enough, this episode is something else! Our big bads are killed, Charming filets a bitch, and everyone fists each other.

It's a BAD time!

For those of you that maybe left Sunday's recap more lost and confused, we present to you: the 'That's What You Missed On OUaT' recap! Short, snappy, and hopefully hits on every major plot point to prepare you are we dive into Season 3. Neverland awaits, and it will be a BAD time!!!

At last, the long-awaited recap, featuring Locally Famous Matthew Winter and Kei. Is it short? No! Is it helpful? Maybe! Does it clarify anything? Not necessarily! But does it involve crazy theories, hot takes, and more laughter than should be legal? Correct!

We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce.

Back by unpopular demand by our listeners, and popular demand by ourselves: the drunk precap! In which we get wildly drunk and do our very best to recount each episode in season 3 with only a one sentence summary to guide us. It's either a recipe for disaster, or our most genius idea. In between the cackling and gasping for breath, you will be privy to quotable moments, including but not exclusive to:

It's a BAD time!

We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce.

We interrupt our end-of-season hiatus to bring you: whatever the fuck this is. Enjoy our rambling thoughts as we go through the Season 2 'bonus features' in preparation for our Season 3 launch!

We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce.

We made it to the season finale! Which means we are one step closer to Neverland... terrible. Every cloud has a dull lining, we suppose. But enough about Neverland! We have finale-like things to do! Like finally understand what the Home Office is (maybe) or finally discover what Tamara and Greg's motivations are (maybe) and save Storybrooke from being blown up (maybe!). We just don't know!

What we DO know is Hook has bean. Emma has pouch.

It's a bad time!

We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce.

As we prepare for season 3, we will be taking some time off, but you will still see us around. More information on the S3 release will be announced later!

You know that scene in Pride and Prejudice (2005) where Mr. Darcy walks away from Lizzie and flexes his hand in the most sexually charged way? I dunno. Something about this episode just suddenly made us think of that. Weird! 

In a classic Masquerade moment, Regina, our one and only Evil Queen, is transformed into a simple peasant so that Snow White can help her learn the true meaning of Christmas. Or at least to learn the true meaning of being evil! Finally, after long road of denial, the queen finally recognizes that she is in fact evil. Though we stand firmly in the belief that she continues to do nothing wrong, ever. 

In Storybrooke, Emma's super power continues to have performance issues.

It's a BAD time!

We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce.