Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

The stakes feel high when you’re parenting teenagers, but you don’t have to go it alone! Today Karen is answering questions from moms facing challenges as they are navigating the teen years. From dealing with inappropriate relationships and emotional struggles to setting boundaries and having tough conversations, Karen offers encouragement to help you parent with confidence. Whether your teen is acting out or just feeling melancholic, you'll find practical wisdom and support in this candid conversation.

Episode Recap:
4:06- It’s critical to be a parent rather than a friend during the teen years.
6:48- My 16 yr old is texting inappropriate pictures with his girlfriend, what do we do?
11:49- Strategies for connecting with a melancholic teen.
16:50- My college-age child is making poor choices when it comes to grades/work ethic - what does tough love look like?
23:07- How do I firmly address drug/alcohol use concerns with young adults who aren’t living at home anymore?
26:21- My 16 year old is dealing with depression and thoughts of self-harm - help!

Scripture for Reflection: Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

Questions for Discussion:

1. Do you struggle with balancing being a parent versus being a friend to your teenager?
2. Think of a time your teen has made a poor choice. Did you manage your own emotions well while addressing the behavior? If not, what would it look like to have a re-do in that particular situation?
3. What role does prayer play in your parenting during the teen years? What are 3 things you can be praying for your teen right now? Write them down and hold one another accountable to praying daily for those things in our teens’ lives.

Resources:

• Check out our studio glow up on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@birdsonawiremoms
• Don’t miss the boat! Register for Soar at Sea today: https://www.soaratsea.com
• Listen to Raising Emotionally Strong Boys with David Thomas: https://wiretalk.transistor.fm/episodes/347-raising-emotionally-strong-boys-with-david-thomas

From preschool power struggles to teenage arguments, this episode is full of real mom moments. Today, Karen’s answering your questions on sibling conflict, possessiveness, and strong-willed kids. Whether it’s a four year old not wanting to share, or a teenager pushing against boundaries, Karen reminds us that parenting isn’t about controlling every outcome—it’s about cultivating character, modeling grace, and being a steady presence as kids grow and learn.

Episode Recap:

• 5:24- How do I help my child get over her excessive possessiveness? 
• 9:50 - Should I get involved over the messiness of my daughters’ room? 
• 12:18- My teens’ argumentativeness ruins the mood of our entire family, help! 
• 17:55- How can I help cultivate a close relationship between siblings? 

Scripture for Reflection: Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Questions for Discussion:

1. Have you ever struggled with a child being overly possessive or anxious about their belongings? What has helped (or what would you try based on this episode)?
2. How do you handle arguments with your strong-willed children, especially when they push back against authority? Is what you’re doing working? 
3. What’s one way you’ve helped your kids build or maintain a strong sibling bond?
4. How do you balance honoring your child’s temperament with helping them grow in areas like generosity, respect, and submission?
5. Which part of Karen’s advice in this episode resonated most with you today—and why?

Resources:

• Check out our studio glow up on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@birdsonawiremoms
• Don’t miss the boat! Register for Soar at Sea today: www.soaratsea.com
• Want more on parenting toward your child’s temperament? Check out A Grown Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring: https://amzn.to/4c34sYC
• Listen to Karen’s episode with Abby: https://wiretalk.transistor.fm/episodes/wt-284-worth-the-fight-with-karen-and-abby
• Grab a copy of Karen’s devotional for Teen Girls: https://store.birdsonawiremoms.com/collections/all-active-products/products/preorder-teen-devotional
• Want to know your or your child’s temperament? Take our FREE Colors Quiz! www.boaw.mom/quiz 

Navigating hard conversations can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when it comes to extended family! Today Karen is answering your questions about setting boundaries, honoring traditions while carving out your own space, and maintaining peace without losing your voice. We hope you’ll take away some practical nuggets for the next time you find yourself facing a difficult conversation. 

Episode Recap:

• 5:20 How do I know when to stand up for myself and when to bend?
• 6:22 My husband’s family celebrates religious holidays in a purely secular way. I’m always frustrated by it when we are with them! What can I do? 
• 10:18 We feel guilted into vacationing with extended family every year when it really doesn’t work for us anymore. It has become a source of tension between my husband and I. How do we navigate this? 
• 15:26 How do I “uninvite” our babysitter on our family vacation??!
• 20:00 My dad doesn’t want to see us at the holidays because he says we haven’t seen him/done enough with him all year long. How do I approach him? 

Scripture for Reflection: James 1:5 (NIV)
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

Questions for Discussion:

1. Did you relate to Karen’s story about being “afraid” of the 7 year old neighbor? Do unpleasant conversations make you nervous? 
2. Have you experienced tension around family traditions or expectations?
3. Do you have particular family members you find it difficult to communicate with?
4. When navigating family gatherings or vacations, what boundaries have you established that have been helpful?
5. How can you invite God into these difficult conversations for wisdom and peace?
6. What steps can you take to ensure your core family unit is nurtured and protected, even amidst extended family obligations?

Resources:
- Don’t miss the boat! Register for Soar at Sea today: www.soaratsea.com
- Check out Wire Talk’s viral clip - https://youtube.com/shorts/yd-lyxHD0HU?feature=share
- Take the free colors quiz - www.boaw.mom/quiz

Grief and joy don’t have to be opposites—sometimes, they go hand in hand. In this tender conversation, Annie F. Downs shares the story behind Where Did TJ Go?, a book she co-authored with her sister to help families navigate the loss of a child. Annie opens up about how her nephew TJ’s brief but impactful life deepened their family’s bond and taught them the beauty of holding joy and sorrow together. Whether you’ve experienced loss yourself or want to support a grieving family, this episode is filled with wisdom, encouragement, and hope.

Episode Recap:

4:26- Annie F. Downs joins us today!
5:40- Prior to TJ’s death, Annie’s family was not nearly as close
8:00- Annie’s sister discovered she was pregnant with a child who had a life limiting diagnosis
10:45- Aunts and uncles get to say yes, so do it often!
12:45- How can we love on families who are raising kids while grieving?
14:30- Where Did TJ Go?  is a conduit for families to connect while grieving
16:00- There is good news in sad stories, this is a Gospel story
20:50- Get a bookplate customized with the name of a child you want to honor

Scripture for Reflection: Romans 12:15 (NIV)
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

Questions for Discussion:

1. Annie talked about how grief and joy can coexist. Have you seen this play out in your own life or in the lives of those around you?
2. How can we, as moms, create space for our children to express their emotions—both happy and sad—without feeling like they have to choose one over the other?
3. Annie’s family found a surprising closeness through their loss. Have you experienced a hardship that has brought you closer to family? How did it change your relationships?
4. What are some ways we can support grieving families, especially those with young children, in a way that honors their loss while also bringing hope?

Resources:

• Pick up Where Did TJ Go? anywhere books are sold: https://amzn.to/4kxSYzT
• Get a bookplate customized with a name you want to honor at wheredidtjgo.com
• Last chance to register for the Soar Conference! Don’t procrastinate another day: https://subsplash.com/birdsonawire-ga/lb/ev/+j2j9wpq
• Connect with Annie: https://www.anniefdowns.com/

What is it like to raise children in the middle of a war? In this special episode, Karen sits down with Kimmie Saado, an American mom raising her five kids in Israel, to hear about the realities of life during conflict. From sirens and safe rooms to worshiping through fear, Kimmie shares how faith has anchored her family in uncertain times. Listen in as she encourages moms to raise up the next generation of Daniels—children who stand firm in faith, no matter the circumstances.

Episode Recap:
1:26- Kimmie is an American mom raising five kids in Israel
3:03- How Kimmie and Sahar met and challenges of cross-cultural dating/engagement
7:50- What it’s like to lead a Bible tour company in Israel
13:20- Karen and Kimmie’s favorite places in Israel
15:45- what has it been like to raise children in a conflict zone?
19:39- how Kimmie’s son led their family in worship during moments of fear.
22:30- how faith-filled habits help equip our kids and others to stand firm in faith.
24:31- what does it mean to be a “Daniel”?
28:15- what Kimmie and Sahar are doing in the States this year
30:00- how Americans can pray and support the Jewish people right now
37:30- we have made God so small and our problems so big

Scripture for Reflection: 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

Questions for Discussion:

1. Kimmie shared a vivid story about responding to a bombing by shouting a Bible verse and also, how her son responded to bombing sirens with worship. How do you model turning to your faith in scary times? Do your kids get to witness that? 
2. What does it mean to raise a "Daniel" in today’s world? How can we instill resilience and faith in our children?
3. Kimmie and her husband took intentional steps to prepare for challenges before those challenges arrived. How can we spiritually equip our families before trials come?
4. Kimmie spoke about finding peace in God’s presence, even in uncertainty. What are some practical ways we can cultivate that kind of faith in our own lives?

Resources:

• Last chance to register for the Soar Conference! Don’t procrastinate another day: https://subsplash.com/birdsonawire-ga/lb/ev/+j2j9wpq
• Check out Kimmie and Sahar’s company: Israel Bible Tours: https://www.israelbibletours.com/

Discipling our kids can feel like a big responsibility, but moms don’t have to do it alone! In this episode, the new BOAW Moms operations manager, Erin Mashaw, shares her journey in ministry and her passion for equipping parents to lead their children in faith. She opens up about her own experiences as a pastor’s kid, her years in church ministry, and the resources she’s excited to create to support moms. Tune in for encouragement that you absolutely can disciple your kids with confidence!

Episode Recap:

1:10 - Erin is going to be a breakout session speaker at the Soar Conference

4:05 - True discipleship happens at home

5:25 - Moms are the faith catalyst in American homes right now

7:20 - During difficult times, we experience the deepest intimacy with God

8:48 - How do we trust God in the waiting and the what ifs?

10:40 - What can moms expect from you in your breakout session? 

11:30 - Sign up for the Soar Conference! 

12:15 - Fill your mind with truth through Scripture, worship, etc. 

Scripture for Reflection:

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Questions for Discussion:

1. Do you feel like the primary catalyst for your family’s faith journey? If so, do you resent your husband? Are you content in that role? 
2. How do you typically respond to uncertainty or fear in parenting? What helps you refocus on God’s truth?
3. Erin talked about using worship music, scripture, and even meditation apps to combat anxiety—what are some ways you can incorporate these practices into your daily routine?
4. What’s one step you can take this week to invite your spouse or children into a deeper faith walk alongside you?

Resources:

• Snag your ticket for the Soar Conference: https://birdsonawiremoms.com/soar-2025
• Barna study on the influence of moms in Christian homes: https://www.barna.com/research/moms-christians-households/
  
  

Raising kind and respectful kids feels like a lofty goal some days, but it's possible! Today Karen tackles your questions about guiding kids through friendship struggles, addressing disrespectful behavior, and teaching them to stay true to their values. Whether your child struggles with peer pressure, sibling dynamics, or showing respect at home, listen in for Karen’s practical wisdom and discipline strategies to shape your child’s heart for the long haul.

Episode Recap:

5:45 - The Soar Conference is a chance to pour into your home, get signed up!

9:00 - My 8 year old is picking up bad behavior from friends, how do I influence her? 

11:30 - Sometimes our kids have to learn the hard way

12:15 - My daughter changes her personality depending on who she’s with- how do I handle it?

17:30 - My husband and I have different approaches to parenting disrespect, what can we do?

23:35 - My child is so stubborn! How do I motivate her?

Scripture for Reflection: Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Questions for Discussion:

1. Have you felt like your influence as a mom is fading as your child’s friendships become more important? How do you navigate that shift?
2. How do you encourage your child to stay true to who they are in different social settings?
3. How do you handle discipline in a way that connects with your child’s personality?
4. If you and your spouse differ in your parenting approaches, how have you worked toward unity? What has helped you get on the same page?
5. For moms of green-wired children, what strategies have worked best in motivating them without overwhelming them?

Resources:

• Snag your ticket for the Soar Conference: https://birdsonawiremoms.com/soar-2025
• Our Parenting Together curriculum is FREE in the BOAW Moms app:  [App Store] [Google Play]
• Curious about your child’s personality “color”? Take the free quiz: https://birdsonawiremoms.com/personality-quiz

Today, we’re diving into your questions about parenting kids with melancholy personalities—from helping a 5-year-old navigate self-critical thoughts to encouraging a 10-year-old who always wants to leave the party early, to figuring out how to connect with a tween who keeps butting heads with you. If you’ve ever wondered how to better understand your child’s temperament and parent with both wisdom and grace, you’re in the right place.

Episode Recap:

9:15 - My son can be so negative about himself, how can I coach him? 

12:10 - My melancholy child always wants to leave events early - how would you approach this?

14:45 - We have to learn not to be embarrassed our kids behavior

15:40 - How do I build a better relationship with my blue son? 

17:55 - Practice encouraging your son in his strengths 

19:00 - How can I figure out my child’s personality color?

Scripture for Reflection:

Psalm 139:14 (NIV) – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Questions for Discussion:

1. How do you see your child’s temperament influencing their everyday experiences?
2. What strengths do you notice in your child that may be hidden beneath their struggles?
3. How can you shift your parenting approach to encourage and support, rather than correct, your child’s personality?
4. What strategies have worked for you in connecting with a child who tends to be more withdrawn or self-critical?
5. Are you praying for the Lord’s guidance so that you can parent your son according to his strengths?

Resources:

• Register for the Soar Conference today: https://subsplash.com/birdsonawire-ga/lb/ev/+j2j9wpq
• Take the Colors Quiz for yourself or your child! https://birdsonawiremoms.com/personality-quiz
• Download our FREE temperaments guide: www.boaw.mom/colors
• Pick up the book A Grown Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring https://amzn.to/40QLoaO
  
  

This week on Wire Talk, we welcome Sandra Stanley and her daughter Allie Cooney, co-authors of Meet Me in the Middle, a book designed to help moms and daughters build strong, faith-filled relationships. Sandra and Allie share lessons from their own relationship, and insights from their book—covering everything from communication struggles to the challenges of raising (and being) a teen girl today. They discuss the importance of creating a safe space for daughters, avoiding the “know-it-all” trap as moms, and learning to let go of control while guiding daughters toward wisdom and faith. 

Episode Recap:

6:30 - Sandra Stanley & Allie Cooney join us to talk about their book, Meet Me in the Middle

13:00 - This book was written for girls in 5th through 10th grade and their moms

14:30 - Social media creates so much noise for our daughters today

17:20 - Moms and daughters are facing many of the same pressures, just at different times in our lives and at different levels of maturity. 

20:02 - When our girls feel safe with us, they are more likely to share with us

22:00 - We don’t need to turn everything into a teachable moment, be interested and be humble

24:00 - It is normal for teen girls to pull away in this season

27:35 - How do we help our daughters deal with comparison?

31:10 - What we do in parenting is far more important than what we say

Scripture for Reflection: Philippians 4:4-9 (NIV) 
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Questions for Discussion:

1. Sandra and Allie emphasize that moms should aim to be a safe place for their daughters. What are some ways you’ve seen this play out in your own parenting? What challenges make it difficult for you to be that safe space?
2. Allie mentioned that her mom, instead of forcing conversations, placed wise mentors in her life. Does your daughter have  wise women in her world other than you that she could learn from?
3. Have you ever found yourself turning every conversation into a teachable moment? How can you shift toward more natural, two-way conversations with your kids?
4. What are some practical ways you model faith in your daily life, and how do you encourage your daughter to cultivate her own personal faith journey?

Resources:

• Register for SOAR 2025 in the BOAW Moms app today [App Store] [Google Play]
• Pick up a copy of Meet Me in the Middle: https://amzn.to/42JaRp1

If you’ve ever felt buried under clutter, you’re not alone. Today Maria and Rebecca of Simple Spaces Ohio join us to share how decluttering has transformed their lives, how you can help your kids understand the value of less, and how a simple morning routine can bring order to the chaos. Whether you're naturally sentimental or just in need of a little guidance, this episode will encourage you to reclaim peace in your home and take back valuable time in your day.

Episode Recap:

2:15 - Clutter affects the way we feel in our homes

4:00 - Young moms are overwhelmed by the chaos in their homes 

6:30 - As your kids get older, you can help them understand they don’t need so much stuff 

9:45 - Some people are naturally more sentimental than others 

11:10 - Having a morning routine with just a few chores can help manage the overwhelm 

13:00 - Decluttering gives you back time in your day

Scripture for Reflection: 1 Corinthians 14:33 
"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—As in all the congregations of the Lord’s people."

Questions for Discussion:

1. What areas of your home feel the most overwhelming to you right now? What would it look like to create a sense of peace in those spaces?
2. How do you balance keeping sentimental items with the desire to declutter? Are there any items you find hard to let go of?
3. What small changes or routines have you implemented in your daily life that have helped you manage the clutter and find more peace?
4. How can we involve our kids in the decluttering process without overwhelming them, and what are some ways to teach them the value of less stuff?

Resources:

• Register for the SOAR Conference in the BOAW Moms app [App Store] [Google Play]