Wisecrackin’ with Winter

Raging on the River

Today’s show sets sail on the Minnesota river with the wife and kid, and Mike’s brother-in-law, Eric, and his family.

Mike spends some time blabbing about NHL Final game 6, and predicted a cup win for the Blackhawks. That’s all anyone else wants to talk about that. He quickly jumps to Lebron James and the injury riddled Cavs. Is Lebron one of the best ever? Mike believes so, and offers his insight as to why it is the case!

Speaking of the Minnesota river, Emma will tell you all what’s up… Shut up and realize that its beaches are the Hawaii of the midwest. Oh, and stay away from Prior Lake; it’s an annoying place to boat. No relaxation, and no where to go!

Speaking of Family…. Our #1 fan, Eric, fills you in about the ups of the Minnesota river, and the downs of lake boating. Do you make six figures? If so, you are ready for lake life, but if not… They don’t want you!

Hockey boating or Banana boating? Eric will fill you in about his great experience with this event! All we will say is don’t hit kids with your boat.

Eric also gives his recommendations for finding your perfect boat, but don’t follow his advice on which football team is best.

While cruisin’ the riv, make sure to “wrap it up” and listen to the podcast!

Google’s of the Day: Miami Vice, jack plates, CCM

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound and Burnsville Towing

Family Boating and the Big G

Today’s show is about family, and as Mike says, “One of the BEST shows I ever did!” So, you need to sit back on the bus, in your car, in your office, or with your Family, and enjoy it!

Mike spends some time with the Family, while boating, and well, being a Family. His wife is driving the boat…. Oh snap! Bi-Curious George doesn’t think that’s a good idea!

Speaking of Family…. The Big G Returns, with another Big G Spot, including the NHL Final, baseball, and the upcoming NBA draft. Listen for your next success at the Vegas sports books!

Make sure that you and your Family rush to your favorite podcast provider and listen to the entire show for Mike’s “BEST show ever”!

Google’s of the Day: Bi-Curious George, Moms on boats, Go Lightning!

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound and Burnsville Towing

Road Raging Keys to Life

Today’s show is all about Mike’s “Keys to Life”.

Sitting down with a smooth drink, while flipping between the NHL Playoffs and a Bowflex infomercial, Mike delivers some deep “Keys to Life”:

“Keys to Life” #1) 30-minute workout with a Bowflex or your mid-90’s equipment of choice.

“Keys to Life” #2) If you are not loyal to your state of hockey, choose another team, but not one that was made from a movie.

“Keys to Life” #3) Don’t bank on the Minnesota Timberwolves.

“Keys to Life” #4) If your name is Dave Letterman, you should have been on NBC, instead of Leno and his big chin.

“Keys to Life” #5) Watch “Dance Moms”! Mike’s favorite show!!!

Check out Mike’s NBA Finals predictions, before you make your bets!

Follow Mike in another Road Rage segment from the Twin Cities Metro afternoon rush hour. Hear about our beloved Minnesota State Troopers, Mike’s favorite social media platform, and his love for Selfie Sticks. G.O.A.T —> Mike just heard about this one. L.L. Cool J named a song after that, and has been used for a long time, but as Mike just learned, it’s just as bad as LOL, LMAO, LMFAO! Come up with something new, like learning to spell the whole thing!

Make sure to rush to your favorite podcast provider and listen to the entire show for Mike’s “Keys to Life”!

Google’s of the Day: Bowflex, DANCE MOMS, goats

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound and Burnsville Towing

Rush Hour Rager from the UK, with Johnny Pizzle

Today’s show starts with your favorite host, Mike Winter, live on the scene during afternoon rush hour. He provides a brief news recap of South Dakota weather, and his disgust with deflate gate. Mike finishes his opener with a comedy stint that brings your drinking habits to the forefront.

Mike’s guest host today is the famous Johnny Pizzle, back from a hop over the pond to London. Just in case you didn’t catch it, the flight was roughly eight hours, again, 8 hours. He is not a fan of American Airlines and their interpretation of lay-flat seating, also known as laying on the floor. But… he loves British Airways and their personal entertainment consoles.

Johnny’s London highlights:

1) Sleeping on the Tube

– Be aware of jet lag.

2) Benny Hill marathons

– Yes, they exist, and that’s all he did during the day.

3) Live TV Russian Roulette (only during 2am showings)

– Johnny lost big time, but enjoyed playing against Bill Cosby.

4) Scones

– Johnny loves some creme in his mouth.

5) The birth of Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana

– Johnny was live in the delivery room.

Johnny was in London for ten pound burgers and to cast his vote for the new British Prime Minister. Mike had no concern about that and was in a rush to know everything about the British monetary structure. That’s what this show is all about; your home for hearing the Queen “make it rain”.

Johnny also enlightens us with his trip to watch the Harry Potter shows in the Theatre District of London’s West End. His favorite part about the shows were the versions he caught in the red light district.

Make sure to rush to your favorite podcast provider and listen to the entire show for Johnny’s London recap!

Google’s of the Day: British TV Casinos, USD/GPD exchange rate, Daniel Radcliffe, Teen Beach Movie 2 (the best sequel ever)

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound and Burnsville Towing

Things that Drive Me Nuts!

plus The Big G Spot

The host today, as usual, is not you! Of course, it’s Mike Winter! Today’s episode is a lone ranger effort by Mike, as nobody would be a guest for the day. So, the best part of the show is that you will not have to listen too long!

Mike has a hot list of things that drive him nuts.

Thing 1) Receipts –> who needs them anymore?

Thing 2) Dogs, Cats, and their helicopter “parents” –> Parents? Are you the one that gave birth to your pet?

Thing 3) Vets are a scam – are you the next “mark”?

Thing 4) Donkeys

On The Big G Spot, BING, BANG, BING!, Big G discusses the May/Pac fight, liked the win by Mayweather, and lets everyone know that Pacquiao should have postponed the fight to rehab his shoulder. He also picks boxers to beat any wrasslers that hop in the ring with them. The Big G discusses the best things about boxing: Rocky Graziano, Sonny Liston, and G’s 0-fer boxing record.

The next thing on The Big G’s list is his rundown of the final standings in the AL Central. Spoiler Alert: White Sox are the worst team. Back to boxing; the Big G likes the prospects of the Kansas City Royals against Pacquiao.

Last thing for the Big G is discussing the Minnesota Vikings, their draft picks, and the latest on Adrian Peterson.

On more thing: Enjoy the special interview at the end of the show!

Google’s of the Day: Wrasslin’, Crank Calls, Penis Pumps

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound and Burnsville Towing

An Uber Family Social

The Richie Barrister Story continues…

Richie is back… Live from the “Sticks”, your host, Mike, and Richie Barrister discuss Social Media, Uber, and Parenting.

The hot topic right from the start is the social fantasyland called Facebook, where your family and friends can “de-friend” you with one click. Mike provides a couple of stories where family, and former friends, “de-friend” and troll his Facebook posts. Richie warned Mike about the pitfalls of social media, and Mike has now learned his lesson!

After a healthy social media rant, Mike and Richie discuss Uber. (Use code 0o2d2 for a discount on your first ride)

Mike explains the way the service works and his experiences with a few female passengers. His ride is like a beauty salon; feel free to divulge all your secrets and take your pants off in his van! Mike also shares how he pisses off cabbies, and how Paul Lambie scams them.

Richie brings up a parenting and family life. He discusses how parents need to schedule maintenance intercourse, and how it will help the happiness in your relationship. Make sure to chart your “sessions” on social media. Mike explains how the Big G would have been okay with taking a “switch” to “childhood Mike”. Mike and Richie also discuss the structure of happy families… Tater tot hot dish while having some good old fashioned “me-time”! Listen for more tips to make your kids perfect, until they hit their teens.

Android users beware: If this show is too difficult for you to listen to –> SUBSCRIBE HERE and post your experience on the social media avenue of your choice.

Google’s of the Day: schadenfreude, septuagenarians, Linear Prediction Of Marital Happiness

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound and Burnsville Towing

RFRA and POTUS

Mike and our guest, Paul Lambie, dive into the controversial news in Indiana regarding the RFRA Law and the revisions put in place by the Indiana Governor. Paul is NOT an expert in Theology, or really any other topic, but knows all about how Indiana is using RFRA to make a much needed move to be a fully uneducated religious state, while doing its best to shut down pay for construction workers so the roads in and out fall apart. This is a major move for Indiana to secede from the United States to become a land-locked independent state, similar to Vatican City. We don’t want them anyway!

Paul helps Mike break down the how the NCAA and other major entities are threatening to pull their big events due to the RFRA issues, while they reminisce over out-dated musical acts that can only keep alive by playing the free concert series at White River State Park. Make sure to follow along with Mike as he reminds us all about the best thing to come from Indiana: Hoosiers! (Not the college team, but the heart-warming family film)

Next on the docket is the 2016 Presidential race. Mike goes rapid-fire with Paul to find out the current leader of the pack… Is it the Doctor of Funk, or Mayor McCheese and his sidekicks Hamburglar, Grimace, and The Fry Guys? Paul knows who makes it from of McDonaldland to the top seat as POTUS. Get the inside track about all the favorites, and the unknowns: “The ginger”, “The guy with a gals name”, and some other boring white guys.

Google’s of the Day: Confederate States of America, Jimmy Chitwood, Sarah Palin and her illegitimate kids

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound

Porn: Is it a Problem?

This week we focus on a hard-hitting subject: PORN

Mike and our guest, Jack, get down and dirty discussing porn, and the problems that arise from the addiction plaguing our households. Marriages, kids, and social media are tainted by the easy access to porn and digital encounters. Mike and Jack divulge in a long and hard discussion about chronic masturbation, and sexual gratification in the animal kingdom. Jack explains his experience with a marriage gone bad, thanks to the temptations of social media, porn, and modern technology. Jack brings on a few guests of his own, to bring more light to cyber-sex, double penetration, and the lack of religion. Follow Mike and Jack down the path to a better modern society, and improved healthcare, where everyone puts down the porn to pick up the phone when you call!

The Big G is back, with your NCAA Final Four picks, and his continued hatred of Duke and Coach K. Big G was impressed by Notre Dame, but likes Kentucky to continue it’s reign. On the other side Big G lets you know who wins between Michigan State and Duke; can you guess? With the Major League Baseball season around the corner he gives you his World Series teams: Cubs and Royals! (Not actually the teams he picked, but that’s what I would guess from his opening remarks. Listen to the reasons why the Big G is not a fan of the Angels “fat” Pujols, and the Dodgers phenom “Pug”. Check out his Sports Report for your sports book needs.

Google’s of the Day: animal masturbation, double penetration, genital warts

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound

Sports with Spirit

Today’s show is opened with a travel report by Mike from the Spirit Airlines gate at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. Mike gives a heart warming story about the horrible customer service provided by the airline, and the out of pocket costs that their passengers deal with while trying to enjoy a much needed vacation. On the scene interviews with a high roller and his harem, Woody the Virgin, and Mike’s wife will help you select your next airline. However, once they board the Russian wide-body, they are propelled to Las Vegas in some of the most comfortable seats in the business!

The Big G is back, with your NCAA Sweet 16 picks, and a special Sports Report with Mike about the current status of Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Vikings.

Mike gets the Big G to reveal his hatred of Coach K, and they reminisce about NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament championship banners captured by The Fighting Irish and Lou Holtz! BING, BANG, BING! (If you were wondering, they have never been in the tournament championship game)

The Big G follows that with special Sports Report breaking news about Peterson, and his love for the Vikings. He claims he will be with the Vikings in 2015, but has advice for the Vikings front office: Trade him for the whole first round, to any team the can make it happen.

Google’s of the Day: Russian prop-planes, Basketball Coach Lou Holtz, Is it safe to eat soup from the airport bar?

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound

Downtown Las Vegas : THE COMPLETE GUIDE

Live on the show with Mike, our special guest Paul Lambie will provide a complete guide to Downtown Las Vegas.

Starting with Spirit Airlines, the guys explain the great accommodations in the sky. Paul wasn’t sure what the couple in front of him were doing, but he sure loves PDA! Mike was not happy with the airline’s punctuality, but he was happy to spend $96 ($156 by my math) for a few beers, during his two and a half hour departure delay.

Here’s a “tip” for all you servers out there: don’t expect one, from Mike!

Upon arrival, Mike’s pick of transportation to Downtown Las Vegas is a $30 cab fare. Paul’s pick is the Regional Transportation Commission of Southern Nevada, aka: the bus. Try to catch the express!

“Staying at the Golden Nugget, I hope?”

Nope, the El Cortez. The El Cortez has been in business since 1941 and in the last few years, according to Mike and Paul, has become Downtown Las Vegas’ #1 hotel… no longer a “crack-den”. This place is for those that DO NOT buy their shoes online! Real Americans!!!

For those that fancy the table games, the El Cortez has plenty of options to try your luck at Paul’s proven betting system. Paul’s “Super Poker” system is available at Paul’s Store , for 3 easy payments of $19.99. The one option that irked Mike, was the lack of Pai Gow. His favorite game can be found at Binions.

Downtown Las Vegas highlight: Fremont Street Experience and Binions’ Pai Gow Poker

Best Breakfast Buffet in Downtown Las Vegas: Main Street Station

Worst Lunch Buffet in Downtown Las Vegas: Main Street Station

Best TV/Radio Star sighting location: Main Street Station… Look for the Big G! Bing! Bang! Bing!

Paul’s favorite micro-brew in Downtown Las Vegas was the “brown one” he had at The Plaza. Check it out during your next trip to Downtown Las Vegas.

Mike explains the “bum-rush” technique to get your group into the pool at the Golden Nugget. Be aware that the last one in plays poker to stay. Once you make it to the pool, the “Fire and Ice” is Paul’s drink of choice. This drink may look like the ladies choice, but the guys claim the “Fire and Ice” get a man-card.

Mike and the crew took a shot at moonlight bowling, at the Brooklyn Bowl (on the strip) in Las Vegas.  Mike is honest; he cannot bowl in the dark. From the results of moonlight bowling and regular bowling, Mike needs to try lawn bowling.

Mike’s favorite drink / shot in Downtown Las Vegas: Famous for burgers at The Heart Attack Grill, they also serve shots that resemble the toy in Mike’s night stand, a big… black… push-up pop. Watch out for the naughty nurses swinging a paddle!

Please listen to the show for a complete rundown of Downtown Las Vegas and all the hot spots to hit up during your stay. And if you have time during your trip to Downtown Las Vegas, make sure to switch your flight home to any other airline other than Spirit Airlines.

Thanks to Paul for his commentary, quips, puns, and big words (that most people that listen to this show need a dictionary to understand).

Google’s of the Day: Vagitosis, Pie Cow Poker, Hipster Douche

DISCLAIMER: Wisecrackin’ is not for everyone; please consult your physician before attempting this on your own!

Wisecrackin’ with Winter is sponsored by: Minnesota Superior Sound