Women of Worth

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! 

In today’s episode, I want to discuss a message I received, where the criticism comes from, and why you shouldn’t fear it. I share 4 practical strategies that you can use to build your confidence, resilience, and inner strength. 

But, this isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea, and welcome to another episode of OUR podcast.

• I do not believe in failure I believe in feedback [7:30]
• I have learned to separate my self-worth from my net worth [7:40]
• How much I didn't bring in is not  a reflection of how hard I have worked [8:10]
• Wealth is only one form of abundance [9:00]
• I decided that 2022 was going to be the year that I put my health, happiness, and healing first [10:25]
• Zoom out and look at the bigger picture [12:30]
• For me, fun and fulfillment over finances. Trust that the finances will follow [13:30]
• Celebrate the not so obvious wins [15:20]

• The message, she started with “hi, love” [17:20]
• My initial reaction was panic and, straight away, I reached out to two experts in trauma. [19:30]
• Criticism is often someone else’s perspective and a lot of times it is someone else’s pain [22:25]
•  I sat with myself and checked in with myself so that I was replying in a place of love and compassion rather than my ego [23:10]
• The most dangerous healers out there are people who haven't healed themselves [24:40]
• I struggled and suffered in silence for a very long time and I had such shame around my inner world about what was going on- I was addicted to escapism [30:20]
• Information empowers people[30:55]
• What we worked on was changing the meaning [34:00]
• Just because someone else's trauma is "worse than yours" and "more awful" does not mean that your pain is any less important [35:50]
• What I will say about criticism is that it is  much easier to scroll social media and criticize other people than it is to sit with your wounds and heal them- I am speaking from experience [36:00]
• You don’t have to go through life triggered at every turn [37:05]
• I am so so grateful for her message yesterday because it made me realize that I have surrounded myself with such strong women [37:45]
• I am so grateful for that message because it helped me heal a little bit more of my own fear of rejection and criticism [38:25]

Get to know yourself [42:00] 

• Daily Journaling
• Meditating
• Identifying Core Values

Listen to and read people who aren't afraid of failure [46:10] 

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle 
• The Gifts of Imperfection Brene Brown

Give yourself permission to be wrong, to fail, to be imperfect, to be disliked [47:05] 

• Life is not meant to be endured it is meant to be enjoyed 
• Allow yourself to be wrong
• It is their free will to have an opinion

Focus on Progress over perfection [48:45] 

• Set the bar so low that you just have to step over it
• Celebrate every tiny win 
• Compassion will keep you a lot more consistent than criticism ever will 

How do I accept praise?  [49:20]

How do you get past the feeling of failure of not meeting your weekly goals? [53:10]

Top tips for keeping energy consistent? [54:25]

Want to work with me? Check out my self-paced Master Your Mindset Course! https://www.clairefealy.com/master-your-mindset

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! 

This week we are diving into fear! I want to talk about what is fear, the difference between healthy and unhealthy fear, and signs that you are living in fear. I will also be giving you practical steps to overcome the fear that you can put into practice today! I will also be suggesting four amazing book reads at the end!

But, this isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea, and welcome to another episode of OUR podcast.

Fear [5:00]

• “A lot of times the only reason why we fear what people think is that we have put other people above us and it is a sneaky sign of low self-worth” [5:10]
• Quote Share: “Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is else is more important than fear” -Ambrose Redmoon [6:20]
• “The biggest mistake people make is to think once I am confident enough then I will take action, and it is actually the other way around” [7:40]
• “Fear and excitement have the same physiological reaction in your body” [9:05]
• “Fear is the word that we use to describe our emotional reaction to something that seems dangerous, and the danger does not have to be real and can be perceived”[9:20]
• “The main purpose of fear is to get us out of danger so that we can fight or flee”[10:30]
• “The more comfortable you can get with discomfort, the more comfortable you can get with fear, the more freedom you will have” [10:55]
• “If we are not regulating our emotions and inner world, fear will keep you locked in the prison of your comfort zone” [11:55]
• “The effect of fear on your mind” [12:45]
• “Overcoming fear is about going from living in your head to connecting with your heart” [13:45]
• “If I asked you to sit in silence” [14:10]
• “Fear turns us into people pleasers” [16:05]
• “We need to separate what's real from what is just my brain and body being on autopilot [17:05]

Healthy and Unhealthy Fear [17:30]

• Quote Share:“Babies are born with two fears” [17:40]
• “The earlier you were judged and rejected the more painful it is” [18:15]
• “Fear is a practical organic human emotion”[18:40]
• “Learned fear” [19:10]
• “The size of your comfort zone is proportionate to the size of your life” [19:25]
• “Feel the fear and do it anyway” [19:45]
• “The opposite of healthy fear is hypervigilance” [20:00]
• “I find that a lot of times it comes from low-level stress” [20:40]
• “Danger is real, fear is not” [21:10]
• “The Seven Why’s” [21:25]
• “We don't need everyone to like us to thrive”[23:55]

4 Signs That You Are Living in Fear [24:15]

1. "Perfectionism: Mask’s that we wear to protect ourselves” [24:20]
2. “Settling: I value comfort and security more than I value..” [26:15]
3. “Procrastination: Delay tactic for those living in fear” [27:10]
4. “ Numbing: “The need of needing to numb through..” [28:00] 

10 Steps for Overcoming Fear [30:00]

1. “Get to the root of your fear” [30:05]
2. “Remind yourself of your worth” [31:15]
3. “If somebody treats you badly, there is something wrong with them not you” [31:55]
4. “Start to choose who you spend your time with and how you spend your time” [33:20]
5. “Make it okay for other people to have opinions of you” [34:40]
6. “Look for the best in others”[36:55]
7. “Check how much you are judging yourself” [38:10]
8. “Take action: Implementation is transformation ”[41:45]
9. “Never put people in pits or a pedestal”[43:40]
10. “Zoom Out” [45:15]

Book Recommendations:
The Courage to be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi

The Gift of Imperfection - Brene Brown 

You are a Bad Ass- Jen Sincero 

Untamed- Glennon Doyle 

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! 

In today’s episode we are discussing healthy boundaries, the signs that you lack boundaries, and why setting boundaries feels scary. We are going to talk about the benefits of healthy boundaries for yourself and others, and managing and understanding the guilt that comes from boundaries. At the end of the episode, you will have 5 steps to set boundaries with the balance of giving and receiving in relationships. 

But, this isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea, and welcome to another episode of OUR podcast.

Boundaries [02:30] 

• “A boundary is a limit or a space between you and the other person, it is a clear place where you begin and the other person ends.” [03:10]
• “The purpose of setting boundaries is to protect and take care of yourself. It is to keep you connected and protected.” [03:30]
• “Sometimes the more you give, the more others expect and the less that they appreciate.” [04:05]
• “When you need something and they are not there or not giving the way that you gave, it is damaging to self-worth.” [04:30]
• Setting boundaries is such an important part of your overall health your well being and your self-worth.” [04:45]

Signs That You Lack Boundaries  [05:00]

• “The first is, difficult relationships or relationships with a lot of drama that are very draining.” [05:10]
• “A sign that you lack boundaries is that you hate letting people down.” [05:30]
• “A third sign that you lack boundaries is that you feel responsible for other people’s happiness.” [05:50]
• “The fourth sign that you lack boundaries is that you feel exhausted all the time.” [07:20]
• “Another sign of a lack of boundaries is over or under sharing of information.” [07:45]
• “The last one is that you feel very connected but not protected, you do not feel like you can say no when you need to.”[09:05]

Three Reasons Why We Struggle with Setting Boundaries [10:00]

• First: “If you grew up in a house where there were no boundaries.” [10:05]
• Second: “The second reason why boundaries are hard for you is that our society glorifies self-sacrifice and it pushes that self-care is a luxury.” [14:20]
• Third: “The last reason is having low self-worth. When you have low self-worth it is so appealing to get self-worth externally.” [16:20]
• “One of the biggest boundaries I am working on for 2022 is work boundaries and having a balance between work and my personal life. I want to feel as excited about my personal life as I do about my work-life.” [18:40]
• “We all have limited resources, our external resources are our time, money, and energy. Our internal resources are our attention compassion and vulnerability.” [21:10]
• Quote share: “It is impossible to practice compassion from a place of resentment.” -Brene Brown [22:40]
• “One of our most important human needs is the need to be seen, heard, and valued. That is what makes us truly connected to others and boundaries are such a good way to do that.” [23:15]
• Quote share: “If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.” -Cheryl Richardson[25:20]

Five Ways to Start Setting Boundaries [25:50]

• Step One: “Get clear on the benefits of boundaries.” [26:00]
• Step Two: “Pay yourself first. Plan into your week.” [29:30]
• Step Three: “Set boundaries clearly and compassionately.” [33:20]
• Step Four: “Have mantras.” [37:20]
• Step Five: “The  power of pause.” [38:50]

Q+A  [40:20]

• “How to identify damaging and negative people in your life? Heal from hurt treatment even when they’re still in your life?” 

Book Recommendations:

• The Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! 

In today’s episode we are decoding toxic positivity and why it doesn’t work. We are going to talk about how to handle life when things go to crap (even when you get Covid) and supply you with practical strategies to use. At the end of the episode, I am going to answer a few questions from listeners about guilt, healing, and regret- remember that you have to feel it to heal it.

But, this isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea and welcome to another episode of OUR podcast.

What is Toxic Positivity? [02:00]

• “Toxic positive is when we dismiss our emotions and try to just focus on the positives.” [05:50]
• “When we suppress those organic, natural emotions, we are creating a lot of problems for ourselves. Those unprocessed emotions turn toxic.” [06:00]
• “We go to our head because it’s safer and escape from our bodies. We escape to social media, overworking, let people treat us like crap so that we can escape from the unprocessed emotions of our past.” [09:00]
• “Allow it and feel it, but don’t wallow in it.” [09:30]

5 Practical Steps for Protecting your Peace [10:40]

•  “Step 1: Acknowledge and Appreciate your Feelings. Feelings are just feedback and feelings in your body.”  [10:40]
• “I had to acknowledge that I was feeling lonely, that I was disappointed, and that I was really, really scared. But a huge part of acknowledging and appreciating your emotions is compassion. It was important to be kind to myself so I could feel and heal.” [12:20]
• “Step 2: Remind yourself that your problems are never permanent or personal.“[15:00]
• “I’m not going to feel this way forever. Feelings come to end and pass.” [16:10]
• “If getting sick was here to help me, how would it be helping me? It encouraged me to really take my health seriously. If getting sick was here to help me, how would it be helping me? It reminded me that I need to slow down and work on my work life balance.” [17:00]
• “Step 3: Meditation. Be aware of the stories you’re telling yourself.“[19:40]
• “Meditation helps to ground and balance you. Take the first 15 minutes of your day to focus on your breath and connect to your higher self.”[21:00]
• “Step 4: Get outside and move. Get out of your head, into your body, and move! It increases your endorphins.” [24:15]
• “Emotions are energy. When you get up and move, you move that energy. When you stay on the couch all day, those emotions stay stagnant.” [25:00]
• “Step 5: Connect and Get Support. When we have trauma we lose trust in ourselves and in others. You’re full of fear. Let love in and let that support in.” [26:00]

Q + A [32:00]

• “How do I stop reliving the past, and heal from relationship issues? What could have been done differently?” 
• “How can I heal old wounds of not feeling good enough?” 
• “How do I get rid of guilt?” 

Work with Claire:

https://www.clairefealy.com/master-your-mindset
https://www.clairefealy.com/mindsetmasteryminimind

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! Today is the final episode of our three part series that focuses on trauma.

In this final episode of our trauma series, we identify common myths that surround trauma. From who is affected by trauma to what trauma should look like, we are debunking 4 of the biggest myths and getting down to the truth. I am also sharing three things that you can start doing today to start on your healing journey.

This isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea and welcome to another episode of OUR podcast.

The 8 Signs [01:30]

• “We don’t just grow out of trauma- our issues are in our tissues.” [02:00]
• “Childhood trauma is normal childhood experiences that we internalize to mean something about us.”  [03:15]

Myths about Trauma [03:30]

• “Myth #1: Trauma is a life sentence. You are not your coping strategies. Trauma has the power to both destroy and to resurrect. Use your trauma as a vehicle to get to where you want to go.” [03:30}
• “My anxiety and my depression made me a good coach. I have turned my struggles into my strengths, and you can too.” [05:25]
• “Myth #2: We can only experience trauma after a life threatening event. Remember that trauma means wound. There’s no scale that measures somebody’s emotional and psychological pain.” [06:20]
• “Stop judging yourself and critizeing yourself. You will never criticize yourself into the happiest, healthiest version of yourself.” [07:30]
• “Myth #3: If you’re strong, you can make it through trauma by yourself. Asking for help can be really, really hard, but it can save your life. The best thing I ever did was ask for help.” [07:45]
• “Myth 4: Nothing good ever comes from a traumatic event. Experiencing growth after trauma is more common than PTSD. Thousands of studies have shown that 90% of trauma survivors eventually say that they have a renewed sense of life, empathic growth, and increased emotional maturity.” [09:47]

How to Overcome Your Trauma [12:30]

• “Be at peace in the present” [12:50]
• “Observe, don’t absorb. Everyone is on their own journey.” [13:00]
• “Life is happening for me, not to me.” [14:00]
• “Step #1: Move- move everyday for 30 minutes, preferably outside. When you’re moving, try to be present.” [15:00]
• “Step #2: Connection- we feel safest when we connect with others. It changes the chemicals in our bodies. You need support.” [17:00]
• “Step #3: Daily Grounding- Just like you do a daily task, look after your nervous system. This can be breathing, journaling, and meditation.” [18:10]

Q + A [22:30]

• “Why are we so in denial of trauma over years before we need to face it and heal?” [22:30]
• “How come some coping mechanisms in childhood are adaptive and maladaptive later?” [23:30]
• “Is grief trauma, and how do you overcome it?” [24:30]
• “Could my trauma be responsible for why I feel anxious in my job?” [27:25]

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! Today is episode 2 of a three part series that focuses in on trauma.

In today's episode, we are looking into the 8 Signs of Trauma. Trauma can look different for each and every person depending on their life-this is not a check list! This is an opportunity for you to look inward and stop asking “What is wrong with me?” and start asking “What happened?”. It’s time to turn your wounds into wisdom and your pain into power.

This isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea and welcome to another episode of OUR podcast.

The 8 Signs [01:30]

• “Nobody goes through the games of life without some form of trauma.” [1:45]
• “The first sign of trauma is low self worth-this is especially true with childhood trauma. We don’t have a capacity for reasoning and logic, so we assume anything bad that happens is because of us.” [02:15]
• “The second sign is intense fear of failure. Any small mistake, flaw, or weakness makes you feel overwhelmed.” [03:30]
• “Unhealed trauma is like walking around with an open wound, trying to bandage it by numbing and distracting ourselves but it doesn’t work.” [4:00]
• “The fear of success is the third sign. It is associated with early abandonment. It’s a fear of judgement and rejection.” [4:45]
• “Number four is micromanaging. Planning everything to a tee, and having a need for control. If you go into panic when things don’t go as plan, it stems from helplessness. It can show up as hypervigilance.” [5:15]
• “Number five is an inability to celebrate change. Our wounds cause us to feel unworthy.” [6:30]
• “Number six is hurting yourself and others. Unhealed trauma causes you to isolate yourself, lose your temper, and react instead of respond.” [7:45]
• “Number seven is an inability to ask for help. The fear of judgement and rejection stopped me from reaching out and getting help. Just know that not asking for help is not a sign of strength.” [9:30]
• “The last sign is the inability to concentrate and be present. You overthink to avoid dealing with emotions. It pushes you to live in your head instead of feeling and healing.”[10:15]

You Are Not Broken [12:00]

• “Just know that when people are projecting their pain, it’s not about you. Don’t internalize it!” [13:00]
• “Observe, don’t absorb.” [13:40]
• “You are not broken, you are wounded.” [14:30]
• “Allow trauma to be your teacher. Suffering is school. Take the lessons.” [15:10]
• “Turn your wounds into wisdom and your pain into power.” [15:40]
• “It’s time to do the work. It’s time to feel safe in your body again.” [18:30]
• “Create a life that you don’t need to escape from.” [19:00]

Work with Claire:

https://www.clairefealy.com/master-your-mindset
https://www.clairefealy.com/mindsetmasteryminimind

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! Today is episode 1 of a three part series that focuses in on trauma.

In today's episode, we take a deep dive into the truth about trauma. We are taking a magnifying glass to the different types of trauma, including childhood trauma. By the end of this podcast, you will know exactly what trauma is and be able to identify the eight signs of unhealed trauma. This isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea and welcome to the first episode of OUR podcast.

You are NOT your Trauma [02:50]

• “Diving into trama has been unbelievable, not just for my own healing, but in my coaching, I started to see profound transformations with clients.” [04:15]
• “Therapy focuses on the past, whereas coaching is future focused.” [05:30]
• “The third pillar of my coaching is consistent happiness, not happiness all of the time, because that's not realistic, but your default mode, making sure your day to day experience of life is a good one.” [06:05]
• “Information gives us hit of dopamine. It's a temporary relief. It makes us feel good. Transformation comes from implementation.” [07:00] 
• “Trauma originally was the Greek word for wound- and that's exactly what trauma is.” [7:45]
• “Stop asking, ‘what's wrong with me? Why am I like this? Why can't I be like somebody else?’ Because trauma is not what happened to you. It's how your body copes with that stress.”[11:20]
• “The more I understood, the more aware I was of what was going on inside of my mind, inside of my body, my nervous system, the more empowered I was.”[12:10]
• “We don't say people with broken bones have a broken bone disorder. If you have an emotional wound or a psychological wound, you do not have a disorder, you're simply hurt by what has happened.”[12:40]
• “This is what I mean by people saying nothing traumatic happened to me. It is not what happened to you- it is what is going on inside of your body. Some people will fall in their bone, won't break. Other people will have a tiny trip and their bone would break.” [15:10]
• “If your parents didn't learn how to respond to emotions during their own childhood, then it's not possible for them to pass that on to you.” [16:20]
• “Feelings are just feedback.” [17:30]
• “I am very, very careful about what I watch on social media, and even TV shows. I know what I'm putting into my body, not just food, but information, images, all of those things, has a profound effect on your wellbeing.” [20:40]
• “Trauma teaches you to close your heart and armor up healing teaches you to open your heart and boundary up.” [24:15]
• “Your issues are in your tissues. So when you don't process your emotions, your stress response, all of that, it becomes stored in your body.” [25:30]
• “In order for us to heal it, we have to feel it. When it’s stored in our body and we haven't processed it, we become so backed up with unprocessed trauma, that the smallest things can seem life-threatening.” [26:10]
• “In order to heal the psychological and emotional trauma, just like healing a bone, it takes time and it takes resting.” [27:50]
• “The last part of healing trauma is rebuilding your ability to trust other people.” [28:45]
• “The biggest thing about trauma is it leaves us feeling overwhelmed, and it also leaves us feeling isolated.” [32:50]
• “We can't change the past. We can't change what has happened. We can only change the meaning that we give it.” [34:50]

Book Recommendations:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk
• What Happened to you? By Bruce B. Perry

Work with Claire:

https://www.clairefealy.com/master-your-mindset
https://www.clairefealy.com/mindsetmasteryminimind

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! I am so excited to have you join me today to talk about how to make 2022 the best year of your life.

This episode covers all of those lessons I wish I could’ve learned sooner. I share my top 5 things I learned in 2021, as well as share 5 steps to help you make 2022 the year of YOU! We dive into my personal goals for the year, my 2022 daily non-negotiables, and some inspiration for your vision boards.

But this isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea and welcome to OUR podcast.

Turning 2021 to The Best Year of my Life [03:20]

• “The biggest limiting belief we have is that we think that taking care of ourselves is selfish. It is not selfish- it is smart.” [03:30]
• “You can’t give to others what you’re not giving to yourself.” [03:40]
• “Making myself happy was the best decision I ever made.” [04:30]
• “Where you are is not who you are.” [06:40]
• “The only way I was able to turn my life around was by having compassion for myself.” [08:00]
• “I finally realized that I was not going to get better speaking to myself like that. I wasn’t going to get better by hating myself.” [9:50]
• “I overcame what other people thought of me. I prioritized being happy and healthy over being liked.” [13:00]
• “You won’t live your life to the fullest if you’re only focused on what others think.” [14:30]
• “Everything I did in 2021, I did scared.” [17:15]
• “If you overcome fear in 2022, it will truly be the year of YOU.” [18:10]
• “Goals are about growth, not about getting. Getting more will not make you happy.” [19:45]
• “Who do you need to become to reach your goal? Once you find “who”, the “how” to reach your goal will be so much easier.” [22:00]
• “Not caring about what others think is not the same as not caring about others.” [23:30]
• “Confidence and success comes from keeping small promises to yourself daily.” [25:00]
• “When you have inner success, that’s when you start to have outer success as well.” [26:10]
• “You are your own greatest healer.” [27:30]
• “Wake up worthy.” [29:55]
• “I stopped trying to prove my worth and just started living it.” [30:40]

Make 2022 The Year of YOU [33:00]

• “Write at least one page of all the things that went right in 2021 because you won’t ever attract more into your life if you don’t appreciate what you already have.” [33:15]
• “Plan 2022 from a place of whole-ness. Don’t plan it from a place of wanting more, plan it around enjoying the journey and enjoying 2022.” [34:00]
• “Get clear on what would need to happen for you to call 2022 an amazing year.” [34:50]
• “Start with a big goal and reverse engineer it. Then take the steps and stay consistent.” [37:45]
• “Get rid of bullsh*t beliefs. Your beliefs impact your behavior and stand in your way.” [38:50]
• “Daily habits: Your goals should be broken down into things you can do everyday to maintain your health and happiness.” [40:40]
• “Meditation, movement, mood: Make space for each of these every single day.” [42:00]

Claire’s 5 Daily Non-Negotiables for 2022 [45:10]

• 15 minutes of meditation 
• 30 minutes of movement
• Journal: on gratitudes, goals, things coming up
• 1 hour of Learning
• Prioritizing sleep

Book Recommendation:

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle
• The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

2022 Quotes:

• “I am worthy.”
• “It is better to have a short life doing what you love, than a long life doing what you hate.”
• “I am worth loving. I do not have to earn love. I am lovable because I exist.”

https://www.clairefealy.com/master-your-mindset
https://www.clairefealy.com/mindsetmasteryminimind

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! Today we are building your core- and not at the gym! We are building your emotional core.

This episode is packed full of tips, recommended reads, and my best advice to harness the power of your emotions. Being able to master your emotions is life changing and learning to reconnect with them will lead you to a life of happiness and joy. Get out a notepad because you’ll want to jot down these notes on how to get out of your own way.

This isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea and welcome to the first episode of OUR podcast.

Unlearn the Inner Critic [01:15]

• “How do you think reaching your goal will make you feel? It’s not the goal you want, it’s the emotion.” [01:50]
• “A lot of inner chaos comes from internal emotions.” [2:20]
• “50% of people’s success comes down to their emotional intelligence- their EQ not their IQ.” [2:40]
• “We are born innately knowing that our emotions are important because our emotions help us get our needs met.” [4:15]
• “Emotions end. The feelings come up, it happens, and then it leaves again.” [6:00]
• “We don’t attach feelings to emotions like hunger. We just take action on it. Emotions like tired we attach to stories like, “work is so stressful”, “I can’t be bothered”, “I can’t believe it’s not Friday”, feeding the emotion instead of just getting more sleep the next night or taking a nap.” [7:45]
• “When we attach meaning to emotions, today’s emotions become a predictable tomorrow.” [8:40]
• “When we suppress our emotions, it lowers our confidence because it drowns out our wisdom.” [10:00]
• “Minimizing some emotions, minimizes ALL emotions.” [10:45]
• “I feel happiness and joy and love so much better than what I did before when I suppressed my emotions.” [11:00]
• “In coaching, I find it’s one emotion that hasn’t been recognized or responded to that causes the clients stress. It’s not the event on the outside or the meaning they’re attaching to it- it’s the struggle to get to the primary emotion.” [12:35]
• “Emotional mastery is about getting our emotions to serve us-it is regaining control of your life by building a strong and healthy emotional core.” [13:00]
• “Overwhelm can be helped with prioritizing what needs to be done and letting go of the rest. Once that happens, the feeling of overwhelm can pass through.” [15:10]
• “Your emotions are an internal compass and they’re always guiding you back to wellbeing.” [16:35]
• “What you focus on, you feel.”  [17:40]
• “Other people's emotions are their emotions.” [18:00]
• “It’s important to learn how to observe, not absorb. Other’s emotions are not your emotions to feel or process.” [19:40]
• “Check in with your body for the emotion and sensation- you can Google Wheel of Emotions to help you identify what you are feeling-not what your brain is telling you to feel.” [21:45]
• “The better you get at feeling your emotions in the present, the more that you will integrate the unresolved emotions of the past.” [23:10]

Steps to building your emotional core [23:15]

• “Step 1: Identify your emotions.” [23:50]
• “Step 2: Acknowledge and appreciate your emotions.” [24:30]
• “Step 3: Get curious.” [25:05]
• “Step 4: Take action.” [26:00]
• “Start a daily practice to check in with yourself and your emotions.” [27:00]

Books + Recommendations [28:20]

• The Body Keeps the Score Bessel van der Kolk [28:20]
• Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself Joe Dispenza [28:35]
• The Presence Process Michael Brown [29:05]
• Emotional Freedom Tapping(EFT) [29:30]

Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy! Today we are diving into the inner critic and everything you need to know to stop letting it control your thoughts.

This episode is packed full of tips, recommended reads, and guidance for stopping self sabotage. I walk you through how to identify your inner critic so you can face it head on instead of ignoring it. We will also talk about powerful strategies that you can use to start overcoming your negative inner critic and becoming the best version of yourself.

But this isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea and welcome to the third episode of OUR podcast.

Unlearn the Inner Critic [01:10]

• “One of the biggest blocks to unconditional self worth is our inner critic.” [01:20]
• “It wasn’t until I switched out criticism with compassion that I really started to embody self worth.” [02:35]
• “We all struggle with the same things. We all share the same pain. We all want to avoid inner pain and move towards happiness.” [04:05]
• “We aren’t born with a really harsh critic- it’s a habit that’s been very hard wired and very powerful.” [05:25]
• “You can unlearn the bad habits and re-learn the good ones.” [06:00]
• “You don’t want to get ot the end of your life and think, “Crap, I spent my whole life criticizing myself, others, my life.’” [06:55]
• “Your inner critic is that negative, internal running commentary in your mind. It’s made up of all of the judgement(or perceived judgements) that you have internalized to be true.” [07:30]
• “It’s not what happens to us in life, it's the meaning we give to it.” [08:15]
• “Your inner critic is driven by fear and it’s rooted in shame, and worry.” [10:05]
• “When you see people acting out it’s coming from a place of unmet childhood needs. A huge part of that is where the inner critic became loud as a child.” [11:50]
• When your core beliefs are formed from age 0-7, your brain has limited emotional cognitive and reasoning skills. That’s why we call these limiting beliefs-they were formed when we had limited access to our brain.” [12:45]
• “Instead of changing the behavior, change the belief.” [13:30]
• “Negative self talk coming from the inner critic will never give you the life you want-it will keep you stuck.” [14:25]
• “Negative thoughts turn into facts if they’re unobserved.” [15:00]
• “We can’t ever get rid of our inner critic. When we ignore it, it intensifies.” [16:30]
• “Self doubt is actually self protection. Your inner critic tells you things because it believes you’re incapable of handling more psychological pain ”[17:05]
• “When you build up your self worth and resilience and you’re in control not the inner critic, you have so much more freedom and energy.” [18:15]
• “Your inner critic cares more about you belonging than it does about you having a big dream or passion.” [19:00]

Mental strength strategies [19:30]

• Awareness-you can’t change what you’re not aware of. [21:10]
• Meet your inner critic and reassure it that there is nothing to be scared of. [22:20]
• Self judgement is not helpful, choose self awareness. [23:00]
• Accept what’s in the moment and don’t attach meaning to it. [23:50]
• Inner child healing EFT or Feeling unlovable EFT [25:50]
• Catch it, Challenge it, and Change it [31:00]

Book Recommendations [32:00]

• Homecoming John Bradshaw
• Radical Acceptance Tara Brach
• The Judgement Detox Gabrielle Bernstein